QOTD: Jennifer Aniston’s Womb Is Not Turning On The “No Vacancy” Light Anytime Soon

The cover of OK! Magazine this week says that Jennifer Aniston’s uterus, that is usually used as a storage space for extra tequila shots and a backup jug of lonely tears, is filled with BABY!!!!, but she tells Elle Magazine that even though can find her at the Babies ‘R Us in Van Nuys on any given Sunday afternoon caressing the baby bibs with her cheek, she’s not knocked up and she’s not desperate (HA!) to pop a child out of her cooch.

“But it’s not what you read. There’s no desperation. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I’m at peace with whatever the plan is. But will you hate me if I say I don’t want to talk about my relationship?”

And she went on, “No, no my relationship is very private to me…” as she texted “cmng out in 5 dont say anything when i pretend to look shocked” to the paparazzi… And on, “My relationship is as sacred to me as being a dumb fuck is to Brad….” as she texted to Terry Richardson “upload that picture of me looking REALLY happy.” Words are cheap when you’ve got the paparazzi on speed dial.

But I can’t completely hate on Aniston’s hustle when she’s wearing a skirt that makes it easy for her to tap the dusty puss. I love a good easy access fap skirt.