Kristen Stewart Admits That Her Boyfriend Is British
Before you laugh, point and thrown giant DUNCE caps at RPattz for being the poster boy for "Ass Sex: You're Doing It Wrong", you should know that this picture was taken on his first day of how-to-take-a-strap-on training and he's just learning. Would you laugh at a newborn kitten if it fell on its pink nose while trying to make a walk for the first time? Okay, yeah, your evil ass would, but you still shouldn't call him a dumb bitch who can't bottom. But moving on to more important and earth-shattering news....
Any Twistorian will tell you that ever since the producers of Twatlight bounded Kristen Stewart and RPattz together in holy fakery to sell those dumb movies, neither of them have admitted in word form that she's sucking glitter shards out of his sparkle hole every night. But during a photo shoot with British GQ (via Daily Mail), Kristen Stewart mumbled out that she hopes to explore the UK more while shooting that Snow White movie, "because my boyfriend is English." The planet put on its brake and then the interviewer asked her to elaborate about that shit, to which she responded with:
"I never would have said that if I knew you were interviewing me.So much of my life is so easily Googled. I mean, it’s like, come on guys, it’s so obvious!
'I don’t think you realize what a big deal it is for people. Well, it is a big deal. They would be 'Oh. My. God'. There would also be still a 50/50 split. Some people would still be, 'See, told you they’re not together.'
I don’t worry about it at all. It’s just one of those things. I’m selfish. I’m like, 'That’s mine!' And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It’s a funny little game to play and it’s a slippery slope. I always say to myself I’m never going to give anything away because there’s never any point or benefit for me."
I know this news made the Twihards shoot their panties off with a cooch cream geyser and then eat up those underwear pieces out of sheer excitement before barfing out a vomit ball that they molded into a heart for their "Edward & Bella 4EVA" altar, but Kristen didn't exactly say the name Robert Pattinson. Kristen only said that her boyfriend is English. Bitch could be talking about Madonna for all we know.
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Ughhh you people are sooo disgusting especially you fat old ugly jealous ho's!
I cant get past the gaydar with her.
As far as her being inarticulate and angsty, I think she's typical of a lot of young 20-somethings (at least the ones I know). The attention-seeking, though, is straight out of Hollywood.
I don't understand how this bitch gets roles. Her face is kinda pretty but she has a terrible, shapeless body and a dull look in her eyes.
And, oh yeah, if being famous sucks so much then disappear for the next decade or so. It's a big world and it isn't too hard.
Submitted by dementa on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 9:18pm.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 7:36pm.
Sorry, I disagree that her surly bratty smugness is "what she is." She's trying to sell herself as a rebellious ennui-riddled artiste, like a female James Dean. She's as fake as Lea Michele, but people are less likely to call her on her fakeness because for some reason people find obnoxious pretension to be "real."
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You make some excellent points, dementa. I guess I just assumed that no one could successfully "fake" such a surly personality on an ongoing basis.
I may have been had!
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 11:11pm.
I don't understand a damn thing she said. I cannot comprehend people who are unable to express themselves, even after they have spoken at great length.
This woman is as dumb as a bag of rocks. A fart would have contained more insight.
LMAO!
At first I thought it was me...so I read it again. I really don't get it.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 5:51pm.
"I think all Twitards are probably fat, lonely spinsters who have run out of Ho-Hos."
Seconding this. First time I ever heard of Twilight was while working a shitty job at a call center, and this girl who was assisting in the training class took a shine to me for some reason, and every time I saw her she'd give me this over-enthusiastic hello then immediately launch into a detailed retelling of whatever Bella and Edwin were doing in the book she was reading. This, despite never receiving ANY indication that I cared in the slightest. And she was, in fact, an overweight, acne-ridden chick who wore glasses and didn't seem as though she had EVER been laid EVER.
I have been studiously ignoring the Twilight phenomenon ever since it hit, just like I do with the Kardashians and all the other crap that I just don't get. So I know next to nothing about it, other than the way it's mocked by Joel McHale (with his foxy ass) and others.
FTR, I think the guy is about a 6.5; chick's about a 4. Her face is. . . pinched or something.
I don't understand a damn thing she said. I cannot comprehend people who are unable to express themselves, even after they have spoken at great length.
This woman is as dumb as a bag of rocks. A fart would have contained more insight.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 7:36pm.
Sorry, I disagree that her surly bratty smugness is "what she is." She's trying to sell herself as a rebellious ennui-riddled artiste, like a female James Dean. She's as fake as Lea Michele, but people are less likely to call her on her fakeness because for some reason people find obnoxious pretension to be "real."
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 7:36pm.
You are not a minority of one,Pup. I enjoyed a few of her movies. The way Twilight Twits go into vertical seizures when she and/or Patsy appear in public could drive one to drink, or at least to a perpetual nasty mood. KS is inarticulate and graceless in every sense of the word,but definitely easier to tolerate than most.
I know I'm in the vast minority here but I don't mind KS all that much. Yeah, she comes off terribly smug and often unlikeable in interviews. That said, I prefer her slouchy, grumpy, boring persona to that of say, a Lea Michelle, who's always fake-smiling, preening and posing in a desperate effort to come off as the big fucking star.
KS is what she is. She doesn't fit the sweet & sugary mold of a starlet, and pisses people off by appearing to be conflicted over and (GASP!) ungrateful for her fame. That actually makes her seem more real to me than most of her peers. Also, she can act a little.
I'll show myself out.
Oh who cares what you do, you mask-faced shemale. I might be able to tolerate her totally emotionless acting and vacant bitch personality if she never talked, but she clearly thinks she's the most fascinating person in the world - even though she can't put togeher a coherent sentence. She's clearly dumb as a rock - those paragraphs sound like they were puked out by a Lardassian.
And they need to stop doing shitty photoshoots of her. You can't polish a turd, and dressing her up only makes her look more like a skinny teen boy in drag. It just highlights her bland ugly face and horrible body.
They also need to stop pretending these two even like each other. It's so painfully obviously a showmance. Oh look, the two actors that Twitards cream themselves over are so totally dating, just like Edward and Bella! It's so transparent.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Princess of Boring (Aniston is the Queen.)
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 5:51pm.
Grrrrrrrrr. I hate these two, one a sullen dyke-y looking fug mess and the other an epic bozo douchetard.
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LOL. A perfect description of the world's most obnoxious on and off screen couple.
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formerly WhiskeyTango (Foxtrot).
I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Where are the 'I can't with you' and 'it's not easy being a cunt' tags?
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
They are both completely and utterly beard-a-licious, it's not even funneh. He's poking his BFF Tom and I don't know who she rubs cooches with, just that she must. xD
Hi everyone btw. :D
Grrrrrrrrr. I hate these two, one a sullen dyke-y looking fug mess and the other an epic bozo douchetard. And I say that as a woman who would happily fuck nearly any decent-looking man with a British accent.
I think all Twitards are probably fat, lonely spinsters who have run out of Ho-Hos.
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
Upon rethinking, I really don't hate them. It's not enough there to care, but I have to defend America, hah!
I don't have a single friend who creams their pants over him.
When my little sister was younger(about 3 years ago when this Twilight shit begun, I think?) she was all over him, but no longer. Soon as Glee started, she dropped her Twilight addiction hard.
All her friends also "matured" (haha!) and moved on from finding him pretty and switched targets to whatever was sold to them as appealing then.
That's my empirical evidence that not all Americans are into these two.
Can't say this means much, because it is what it is: people eat up whatever is put in front of them, no matter what it is. And they will keep eating it if it's given to them at massives amounts too.
(Yes, there are many studies like this when they were trying to find out why people were fatties! I swear they keep on eating when given more, no matter what their stomach can hold, initially anyway :P)
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 11:32am.
I think this guy is only "fascinating" in America. Dudes like him are ten a penny in this country.
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So true, barely anyone cares about him over here, or her for that matter.
I used to like her but she's so annoying! All this "I want to keep my relationship secret" thing is just to keep the speculation and attention going, if they both just admitted it after the initial buzz everyone would grow bored.
Plus, if she hates being a celebrity so much why doesn't she just quit Hollywood and move to middle of no where and get a regular job like the rest of us? No one is forcing her to keep making movies and do those pretend/real kisses at those MTV award shows, she loves the attention! Just thinks it's cool to pretend she doesn't *rolls eyes*
She is naturally very pretty and photographs well, but I'd love to shake the boring out of her. NEVER any kind of expression, and she's an actress! I don't get it. Her face looks like a statue in every photo I've ever seen of her. I know that is not a good indicator of the kind of person she might be, but she seems incredibly boring and I've always had the impression that RPatz is an interesting guy. Not throwing shade - if they're happy, they're happy, but since I almost dozed off just typing about these two, I'll stop now.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
She is very dull.
The problem is if she admits it, the Twitards will stop caring. They live for the ARE THEY OR AREN'T THEY?! crap. That's why every time these two almost kiss every single year on the MTV Movie Awards, the Twitards pee their pants.
I really hope when these Twilight movies go away, so do these two. He's sort of tolerable but she comes off as pretentious and that annoys the fuck out of me.
No way in fuck these two have ever seen each other naked. Please. Next.
when she get all fancy for photo shoots, she is incredibly beautiful.....
I like how their shoes match. My boyfriend and I had matching shoes. before the incident.
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I LOVE CARTWHEELS
I really want to see what happens to this talk when she's no longer famous.
Will she be perfectly fine with it? Something tells me she might have a case of wishing back what she lost when people no longer give a shit about who she's fucking.
Seriously, when someone puts this much emphasis on trying to hide something it might just be b/c she loves the attention it gains her to keep so "coy" about her love life.
I'm past disliking them or discussing their looks right now, because all that is not as annoying as the dumb things they say.
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:29pm.
Thank you sarahjane. Thank you for being the 2nd of only two freaks in the entire Dlisted viewing area that would sleep with these two.
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Oh, I so would. Especially GayStew. I can't help it. It's a sickness. They still annoy the fuck out of me tho.
EC
understood and shit.
JICYDK or give a shit...i would still get with 'em.:)
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
This girl fascinates me because she looks so "special." And she is whiny, slouchy, and complainy, yet she is a big star. See? Fascinating.
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:31pm.
I am not a liar mouth, just a pathetic, whiny apologist!
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Whaaaat? Why do you say this? I know that you know that I know that I was being a smartass....have I been away too long? or are you making fun of me, Rizzo?
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Oh, it has nothing to do with you, urmomma. Earlier today, some "fans" of mine decided to tell everyone in the Depp thread how they felt about me, thinking they would run me off to hide in a corner. Some of the posts have gone "poof", but I am sure there are still a few there, if you care to read.
Anyway, I was just being sarcastic too. Don't worry, I knew you be kiddin'!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:31pm.
I am not a liar mouth, just a pathetic, whiny apologist!
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Whaaaat? Why do you say this? I know that you know that I know that I was being a smartass....have I been away too long? or are you making fun of me, Rizzo?
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
These two "actors" redefine the word boring.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:35pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:29pm.
Off topic shit. Jon Hamm's gilfriend who I cannot remember her name right now.
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Kinda on topic.. since she is rather vanilla... and Kissing Jessica Stein sucked dick.. which is quite ironic when you think about it.
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LOL! That was funny!
Yes, it sucked and so has every other movie that woman has done.
Will not be seeing her latest with Hamm and Megan Fox, Friends with Kids or some shit.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:29pm.
Off topic shit. Jon Hamm's gilfriend who I cannot remember her name right now.
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Kinda on topic.. since she is rather vanilla... and Kissing Jessica Stein sucked dick.. which is quite ironic when you think about it.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Oh my Lord, the only "relationship" more patently fake than this one is Tommy Boy and Katie's, or maybe the recently moribund one of Leo and Boobs Legsley. And of course the one in which any woman "hooks up" with Toothy Tile.
Give me a break. As if Stewart would "accidentally" let slip such a big matzoh ball. This is a case of two big flapping beards.
And bwah to the interpretation of KS's "English boyfriend," Mikey, although I think she would have said "fake pretentious English boyfriend" if she was referring to Madge.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:10pm.
Anyone else fast forward through her trying to be Joan Jett?
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I thought she was excellent as Joan Jett. The Runaways was not a very good film but her performance made it worth watching. Joan herself was pleased.
KS spoke of Joan Jett with great respect.(Shocker!) Her portrayal reflected this.
KS cleans up well but her terrible posture spoils the glam. Does this trick have scoliosis or she simply graceless?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:24pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:17pm.
LOLOLOL Okay, she can get a job at Menard's. ;-)
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Better. :)
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:29pm.
Thank you sarahjane. Thank you for being the 2nd of only two freaks in the entire Dlisted viewing area that would sleep with these two. Either that or everyone else is just a bunch of LIAR MOUTHS!
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I am not a liar mouth, just a pathetic, whiny apologist!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:23pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Sarah Smile on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:00pm.
I hated Kissing Jessica Stein too! So many people found it so charming and witty, none of which it was! I also hated Ira and Abby too, and have decided to skip any other movies where her name is attached.
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Wait.. who are we talkign about ?
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Off topic shit. Jon Hamm's gilfriend who I cannot remember her name right now.
Thank you sarahjane. Thank you for being the 2nd of only two freaks in the entire Dlisted viewing area that would sleep with these two. Either that or everyone else is just a bunch of LIAR MOUTHS!
BTW, at the same time would be a must because he looks like a crier and I would feel guilty for leaving him alone with his tears.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Fuck, if she would just come right out and say it then there wouldn't be any speculation and people would stop trying to guess if they are or they aren't.
They obviously are and this little fame whore is feeding the fire. Come right out and say it so I never have to hear about your bullshit little relationship again.
Anno,
I thought Dakota was pretty good too. But damn if Kristen's annoying mug wasn't annoying as hell.
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Put on your lip gloss, plump your chichis and let's get back to the main event.
~ Michael K
If you don't like being famous, then give your millions away and stop rolling around in it like Scrooge McDuck. Your whining and bullshit makes me angry.
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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias
If you don't like being famous, then give your millions away and stop rolling around in it like Scrooge McDuck. Your whining and bullshit makes me angry.
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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:16pm
Hello my looooooooooooooove!
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*insert Mrs. Doubtfire voice* HELLOOOOOOO!!
Damn, I was like louise_brooks just calling you out! LMAO
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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:17pm.
LOLOLOL Okay, she can get a job at Menard's. ;-)
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Sarah Smile on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:00pm.
I hated Kissing Jessica Stein too! So many people found it so charming and witty, none of which it was! I also hated Ira and Abby too, and have decided to skip any other movies where her name is attached.
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Wait.. who are we talkign about ?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
"I always say to myself I’m never going to give anything away because there’s never any point or benefit for me."
Translation: I am a closet case.
Seriously, though, this makes me really dislike her, even more than that horrible slouch. I just don't like actors I guess. How huge of an ego must you have in order to think the information about who you are dating is so important that you deserve to "benefit" somehow from telling people who your SO is? WTF?
Submitted by Sarah Smile on Wed, 10/05/2011 - 12:18pm.
I don't think Hamm could leave her for anyone else, her grip is so firm!
Yeah, that movie was just a giant FAIL all the way around. Annoying is what comes to mind.
She and Kate Walsh should tear out of the closet and become one of those look-alike couples.
I do not see one single thing attractive about that Pattinson (whatever) douche.
He has never stopped complaining (ever!) about the perils of fame and now this trick is following suit. Shutupandgoawayalreadybothofyounobodycares.
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Dark-sided!