8 Reasons Why I Am In Love Maurice Sendak

Maurice Sendak is best known for writing Where The Wild Things Are? and now he's best known to me for making me say "Andy Rooney, who?!" out loud. 83-year-old Maurice made my soul coo out 8 crusty and chapped hearts during his interview with The Guardian about writing children books, hating bitches and hating bitches some more. Here are just 8 things that Maurice is growling at (alternate title: 8 reasons why I want to make children with an 83-year-old grand cunt):

E-books: "I hate them. It's like making believe there's another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of book! A book is a book is a book."

NYC: "You get pushed and harassed and people grope you. It's too tumultuous, it's too crazy!"

Rupert Murdoch: "His name should be what everything is called now. (Reporter: But doesn't he publish your books?) Yes! Harpers. He owns Harpers and I guess the rest of the world, too. He represents how bad things have become. But I don't know a better house. They're all in trouble. They're all terrible."

American politics: "These Republican schnooks would be comical if they weren't not funny."

Salman Rushdie: "That flaccid fuckhead. He was detestable. I called up the Ayatollah, nobody knows that."

Roald Dahl: "The cruelty in his books is off-putting. Scary guy. I know he's very popular but what's nice about this guy? He's dead, that's what's nice about him."

Stephen King: "Bullshit."

Gwyneth Paltrow: "I can't stand her."

These quotes should be published into a hardcover book with illustrations and read to every single child before bedtime. This is mandatory.

Posted by: Michael K

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I'm Taking Notes • International Treasure

Submitted by Dannii on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:07pm.

the rushdie comment was fucking hilarious!

Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:07pm.

I love "Where the Wild Things Are"!!! My boys love it too!! :) This guy is alright in my book...sounds like he knows his shit and speaks the TRUF!!

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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:07pm.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:32pm.

I loooooove your avie!!!

On topic: Grumpy old guys are funny.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:06pm.

I would have added to the Stephen King diss, "and just get runover by a van if you want to start being taken seriously as a writer."

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:02pm.

Yes to everything he said (and I'm a conservative) except for the Stephen King diss. Boo on that, man. I want to hear him go off about the Urban Outfitters-wearing hipsters that have co-opted his book and turned it into a $50 t-shirt.

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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Submitted by Pincheborracha on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:01pm.

Yup I LOVE him too!! He scores major points just for saying he hates Goopy Fishsticks!' Go on Maurice!!

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I'M DONESVILLE!
Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!

Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:01pm.

I would love to know the Goopy story. Did she sidle up to him at some event with that lispy, lockjaw accent of hers as if they are fellow authors, that is, that they both wrote NYT bestsellers? Did she then proceed to tell him how much she looooved his book as a kid and how her two perfect towheads, Apple and Moses, loooove it, too?

I agree with him on most things except Stephen King, who is good when he isn't writing that magical Negro/retard shit.

Regarding Polanski (?!?), I don't care, "Chinatown," "Repulsion," and "Rosemary's Baby" (along with "The Tenant" and "Knife in the Water") rule.

Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 3:00pm.

lol!

Submitted by bambam on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:58pm.

Is it TMI to say this song makes me cry? I iz too sappy for mah own good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeIrwNxfgiw&feature=related

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:58pm.

Jesus, think I can talk this crusty old fuck into marriage???? I'm in love.

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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.

Submitted by Vanitas on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:56pm.

"He's dead, that's what's nice about him"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS! made me lol

Submitted by cocoebert on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:55pm.

He is right about Roald Dahl, though. Anyone ever read his adult fiction (sounds dirty, but I just mean non-children's fare)? It's very, very dark. Delicious, though, like Patricia Highsmith.

Submitted by sirdigbychicken... on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:55pm.

I don't care what you've done in life, as long as you agree that Gwyneth Paltrow is insufferable.

one asshole....to scale.

Submitted by misslainey on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:54pm.

I can't wait until I'm 80 and can say exactly what I think about everyone and not give a shit. Oh hell, why wait 40 years? Love this guy.

Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 2:54pm.

Ha!! Too funny. However, your book sucked, pal. I was in Grade 2(?) when it came out and I still remember how bad teachers tried to cram it down our throats.

It (and your) only real credit is that you proved there is a market children's lit that is really written for adults.

But I totally agree with your opinions here.

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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."