Tupac Even Releases Sex Tapes Posthumously
Proving that he's the hardest working dead dude in the game, a 20-year-old sex tape starring Tupac Shakur, a determined groupie slut and Digital Underground's Money B is about to be released for your fapping (or cringing, or fap cringing) enjoyment! If you're currently wrestling with your morals (HA!) and wondering if you should break one of your porn-watching rules (No twisting your nipples to dead dude dick...except John Holmes), then stop your worrying and pull up your panties. TMZ's description of Tupac's blunts and beej tape sounds about as erotic as the "smell my punane" scene from Poetic Justice.
The 5 minute-long tape opens in someone's living room in 1991. Tupac struts into the room with his pants around his ankles, his nipples exposed, a cocktail in one hand, a blunt in the other and his peen in the blow job-ready position. Tupac grabs a ho from the groupie pile and gestures for her to "KEEP YO HEAD DOWN" as one of his unreleased songs plays in the background. Tupac sings along to his song, swishes his hips and doesn't spill a drop of the cocktail in his hand. Money B strolls into the room and Tupac throws his cocktail hand around his friend's shoulder and the two dance together. Meanwhile, the group slut keeps her mouth full of California Love and doesn't let the peen slip once during all of that dancing and shit. The tape ends with Tupac letting the groupie know that he's down to fuck. ...And that is how dreams are made.
That is the exact same story Lil Wayne tells all of his ten million children when they ask him where babies come from. It's also the exact same story Pimp Mama Kris told Kim Kardashian when she asked where recording contracts come from and how can she get one.
But seriously, that hilarious mess sounds 99% better than most of the celebrity fucks tapes out there. It also sounds like the treatment Usher is going to present to the recording company for his next video with Justin Bieber. ....And that is how fap dreams are killed.
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I wonder how nasty the skanky ho was sucking him off. To do it in front of someone else shows how little respect these freaks have for themselves. I'm also surprised Tupac didn't have any illegitamate kids running around. I think he is about the only gangsta rapper to not have fathered at least once child. Gosh even big and ugly B.I.G had a couple chilluns before he was capped.
How can his own mother do this to him? She's the one releasing the tape. That's the part that I can't figure out.
Remember Tupac was the one who outed Jada Pinket-Smith as a lesbian BEFORE she married her gay husband.
Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 11:11am.
What does it mean when it says "reported" in someone's post?
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ill take your bait
it means you have to get to know suckandfuck better. much better.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
This post convinced me. I am going to watch this mess...it sounds as amazing as a Khia soliloquy.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:17am.
omg Tupac was SO frickin hot!! Of course I have a thing for total players, apparently lol.
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Submitted by jackie on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:08am.
And getting head while smoking a blunt is one of my favorite pastimes.
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Amazing performance in Juice!
R.I.P. Tupac.
Seriously, who really gives a fig about a Tupac sex tape?! Talk about the media being desperate for shit to write about these days.
Next sex tape uncovered: John Denver- Rocky Mountain High Years.
Did we find out how big his dick is (was)?
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
OH GOD !
Seeing this post just gave me a flash of the future. We will be beseiged by this kind of fuckery by long forgotten(by most of us) dead "stars" sex bullshit.
After Linds is dead. Most of us carry on and 10 to 15+yrs of being gone and some nude pics or sex vids get released like tupac. Most of us that forgot about her get reminded and want to blow chunks.
A whole five minutes? LOL
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
It always struck me as odd that tupac never had any illegitimates. This just adds to that.
After seeing this headline i knew another guy was involved.
He never even crossed paths with the law prior to being famous, so much for his "thug" credentials.
Just a giant ghey phony. *smh*
i'd hit it and hit it and hit it and hit it.
RIP TUPAC
FUCK ALL THE HATERZ
WESSSSSSSSSSIDE!
Trash
Everything being uttered on this thread is certifiably, 100% veritas. Especially the comment about the public display guys.
There was this guy in senior year hs who was the most beautifulest thing I had ever seen at the time, as fate would have it he was an utter ultra-douche.
Anyways, he would always walk around the locker room when every other guy was changing, call someone and then flash them with his junk. I immediately got an inclination as to what his orientation was...he was NEVAR the same to me after that...
Wasn't he supposed to be one of the good guys of rap? Well, that asshole is dead. Yippieeh.
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
What does it mean when it says "reported" in someone's post?
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE OLD CRAZY LADY SMELL LIKE CELERY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why oh why did i read that description? i feel sick now-yeah i also dont get the groupie thing and stars who use them like that are total shitbags!
lol M.E. I don't get groupies either. All I can say is daddy issues...
PSL those eyelashes! That smile! That bod! And very talented. *swoon*
But yeah there's a reason "Thug Life" is tatted on his belly lol
Groupies - I never got it.
Why be just another ho some famous rapper/singer bangs back stage? I mean really. Where is your self esteem?
I got backstage passes to Pantera back in the day, and as my friend and I waited, and waited, and waited after the show, more and more whores lined up. When the band finally came back I was disgusted by what the whores did to get attention, kisses, or lead into a room and my BFF and I bailed.
No fucking thank you.
Phil Anselmo - you are hotter than fuck, but I'm not touching your STD ridden peen.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 9:28am.
The other guys were like "What? Ew! No
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LMFAO!! Ya I'd be doing the same thing. WTF you want to what?? Here? what, with everyone around? what are you takin about, are you fuckin nut's? BAWAHAAA.
I wouldn't be lookin at him the same either. LOL
Sweetas, I agree. A total thug, but a good looking man.
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No one seems to touch me in the way you do
Nothing seems to hurt me when I'm close to you
I'm so filled with desire, when you set my head on fire
I need to be right by your side
-Eurythmics
omg Tupac was SO frickin hot!! Of course I have a thing for total players, apparently lol.
And yes I will watch it. Anyone who's ever seen an old school rap video knows that they totally objectify women, but those women are lined up around the block. It's not like they're prisoners.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 9:47am.
Does anyone care? Really?
Dude has been dead for like, ever.
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I wish they'd let him stay dead.
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"Somebody needs to glamour A CLUE into that trick." - Sociologist Michael K
And getting head while smoking a blunt is one of my favorite pastimes.
This tape actually sounds comical plus im a huge tupac fan so I will most likely watch it.
Tupac would have been 40, actually. He was born in June of 1971.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 9:18am.
That's actually not what he says...but a great song regardless.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Gross...no thanks. Watching a dead man get sucked off by some nasty skank-ho...not something I want to see.
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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg
Does anyone care? Really?
Dude has been dead for like, ever.
@Hekki -
I am LOL-ing picturing that scenario! Too funny.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
Submitted by ba-buttons: "In my experience, it's only closeted gay men that want their buddies to watch them having sex."
Yeah, that's something I classify as sort of not too hetero.
Mr. Hekki tells the story of a bachelor party he attended where the best man hired two strippers to dance together and do some mild girl-on-girl stuff. One of Mr. Hekki's buddies whips out his peen and was encouraging the other guys to get theirs out and start fapping all together. The other guys were like "What? Ew! No." The fapper is totally straight, AFAIK but I could never look at him the same way again.
Funny, but this news made me download "Changes" which is one of his best songs. Damn..he said he won't live to see a black president. Boy was he right.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Wow. Now see how long it takes for some busted ho to claim it's her in the tape.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
@Raul Duke - I bet that's not even fake!
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
What I want to know is who holds onto a tape like this for 20 years?! Video Cassetes are even obsolete now. This person needs to get with the times. They shouldve been copied this mess to DVD by now and had it circulating in the underground market.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
He's not dead, MK. Shut yo' mouf!
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 8:50am.
Why does anyone want to know the size of someone's penis?
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reported
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
MJT - one of my favorites... lmao at it going off at work!!!!!
Good morning, Mrs. Fury... *adjusts self* :P
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by howdareyou on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 8:54am.
Wtf? The guy's dead 15 years and still selling bajillions of records, why the hell does he need a sex tape for publicity?
He can't be dead. He's living in South America somewhere, laughing at our asses.
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He's not the only one who is still alive. >
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://hiphopwired.files.wordpress.c...
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Wtf? The guy's dead 15 years and still selling bajillions of records, why the hell does he need a sex tape for publicity?
He can't be dead. He's living in South America somewhere, laughing at our asses.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
This is just more proof that TUPAC'S NOT DEAD. He's still making that scratch!
So many unanswered questions, Roman Helmet or Turtleneck?
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
At least Tupac came from the school of real rap. I'm not a big rap fan but I tip my hat to this guy. He's one of the few rappers I can actually listen to.
Lil Wayne is a joke and he's the epitome of what happens when a style of music has ran it's course. Lil Wayne is the McDonalds of pop rap.
Most of my fapping includes cringing. It's the dirty, sorry looking girls in the porn.
Et tu, Tupac?
He was nice to look at, so I'm sure this tape is somewhat enjoyable. But enough already.
At this point I think we can safely surmise that a sessy-times tape is an official prerequisite to stardom and, in fact, a part of the initiation, along with signing one's soul away to satan in blood and/or sacrificing the life of a loved one.
Got it. Glad to be a nobody.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
Why does anyone want to know the size of someone's penis? That's so stupid.
Oh, good morning, Jack! How are you?!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 8:39am.
Why so late?
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'Cause all the ghetto trash living of this guy's corpse blew all the money they made from the 97th post-humous 'Best of Tupac' album.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 8:37am.
It would be awesome if the chick was Faith Evans... one last stab at Biggie... from the grave.
That would be awesome