Thomas Jane Was A Homeless Gay Whore Once

October 3, 2011 / Posted by:

Thomas Jane plays a Midwestern father who peddles his peen to ladies for cash on HBO’s Hung and he tells The L.A. Times (via Towleroad) that in real life he once took a price tag to his saleable bits and turned tricks on Santa Monica Blvd. Thomas admitted that he tasted man for money when the L.A. Times reporter brought up the “I told HBO, the year I end up with a penis in my mouth is the last year of the show” line that caused some of the gay media to light his asshole for free.

Instead of giving the public (read: me) what they really wanted by passing forward detailed stories, Polaroid pictures, sketches, videos and flip books of his man-on-man hooker car sex, Thomas went on and on about how being a gay hustler showed him that dude ass ain’t for him. You know, because dicks and pussies are like brussels sprouts, you can’t know that you don’t like em until you’ve tried em. And just like brussels sprouts, dicks and pussies are best when served with a little garlic salt and melted butter on top. This is what Thomas had to say about selling ass and sexuality:

You’ve gotten a lot of grief in the gay media … here’s your chance [to explain yourself].
Hey, you grow up as an artist in a big city, as James Dean said, you’re going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don’t accept people’s sexual flavors. You know, when I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car. I was 18. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?

Do you feel that experience had any cost or was it just doing what you had to do?
You’re a lot more open to experimentation as a young man. And for me, being a young artist and broke in Los Angeles, I was exploring my sexual identity. And probably because of my middle-class, white blue-collar upbringing, I would have never had the opportunity to confront some of my own fears and prejudices had I not been hungry enough to be forced to challenge myself in that way.

So then it was productive for you in terms of self-knowledge?
Yeah, absolutely. It blew the doors off of my conventional upbringing and thinking and opened up possibilities for me that were akin to World War III. And then you actually have a choice, and I chose to be a heterosexual guy because that’s what my DNA dictates and my nurture dictates that I am.

Then is that a choice?
I don’t know. I think up to a point it’s a choice. But I’ll tell you what — it’s not a choice until you’re open enough to experience both male and female sexuality. Until you’ve tasted the food, you don’t know whether you’ll like it or not, as my mom always said.

What Thomas is saying is that it wasn’t his choice to be straight, but it was his choice to let a man go throat deep on him for a tuna melt. Right? Okay. But the most offensive, wrong, uneducated and dangerous part of his comment is the sandwich part. Do you know how many first-time johns are going to pick up a twink queen on Santa Monica Blvd. and throw them a wink as they whisper out of the passenger window, “Can I buy you a sandwich?” That poor john’s dick-sucking wet dreams are going to be crushed when the twink queen thinks he literally wants to buy him a sandwich and tells him to pull into the Subway a couple blocks up. I swear, Thomas Jane is totally whoring for Subway!

By the way, selling ass for a sandwich is totally my new life motto.

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