Open Post: Hosted By Roy Horn’s Busted White Tiger Cake

October 3, 2011 / Posted by:

TMZ points out that eight years ago today, a white tiger nearly sent Roy Horn to Jesus when it mauled some of his neck off during a stage show, and at his 67th birthday in Las Vegas last night he got the last bite by sinking into a white tiger cake. No, that’s not offensive, but that cake is. Where was Cake Boss when Siegfried & Roy really needed him most?! That shit looks like it was made by Cake Temp.

That is the kind of cake I’d expect to get at the Food 4 Less bakery when I pay with gift cards, food stamps, coupons and returned merchandise.

Why is that tiger’s nose bigger than its ass? Why is it wearing beauty supply contacts? Why does it look like a bloated and white Rick James, bitch? Why do I have a feeling that who ever made this cake made it with their feets? Why do I have a feeling that who ever made this cake spit out the famous last words “fuck it” after it went out of the kitchen? Why does that tiger cake look like it’s wearing a fondant wig modeled after Bo Derek’s 10 braids? Why do I want to put that cake on suicide watch?

This is Roy Horn’s 67th birthday celebration we’re talking about! There shouldn’t be that many questions about his tiger cake!

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