Andy Rooney Says Goodbye By Telling His Fans To Leave Him Alone
The original hater Andy Rooney let out his farewell rant on 60 Minutes last night and he ended things the only way I'd expect him to end things: by telling his fans thank you, but get off his lawn! Andy's farewell did give me a slight case of the sads on the inside, because when I reach the age when my chin starts to sag so much that it looks like a nutsack is growing from the bottom of my head (I can't wait!) who will tell me that it's okay to shake my fist at the clouds over my hatred of chocolate chip cookies (yes, Andy Rooney hates chocolate chip cookies) and wrist watches?
If I ever run into Andy at a restaurant after I've had brunch while he's having dinner, I will go up to him, because I believe you truly haven't lived until you've been blessed by his crusty old coot side-eye. I didn't know gruffing with your eyes was a thing until I started watching Andy Rooney.
And my mom had to SUCIO up my final time with Andy by asking me over the phone, "Do you think he ever wears pants when he's behind that desk? Old men don't like wearing pants." Who does?! We all do our best work when our genitals are rubbing up against the bottom of a desk.
• 
He needs to do something like cackle maniacally if someone asks him for an autograph. That, or hiss like a kietteh.
MK, you have been blessed with your dear mother's skewed view of the world. :)
GTFO, crusty geezer. Don't let the door hit your saggy behind on the way out.
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
if i was a celebrity that people cared enough about to even ask for an autograph i would never turn them down unless i was sick or there were too many people to be able to sign an autograph. whoopi was talkin about this shit on the view and how she wont sign if someone comes up to her in the bathroom. i know there are loony fans out there but i feel like signing an autograph is a small price to pay for the lifestyle these celebs live.
Smart guy. I like smart people.
andy, go on home you old fuck!
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Who here wears pants when they're using a computer? Especially while on this site. Cubicle warriors excluded. Then again this is the D. At least one of you ain't in pants reading this at work.
WOO HOO FREEEEEEEEE
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
overturned!!!! yay. omg.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Dove e il bagno?
Andy probably changes his diaper at the dinner table and wipes his hands off on the drapes.
Reforma!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
LKF (Little Known Fact) : In the 80s the "60 Minutes" talent and crew nicknamed Rooney "Handy Andy" due to his several thousand dollar monthly phone sex tab. Just kidding.
Imagine how fucking scared/nervous she is right now
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:39pm.
These Italian court officials are some snappy dressers. Shoulder ropes are so IN this season.
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Shit I'm always behind the times. I just stocked up on bolo ties.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Hahaha Provy. She may be Keith Richards' child.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
These Italian court officials are some snappy dressers. Shoulder ropes are so IN this season.
what snowho said!!!!!!!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:34pm.
I'd sooner put my money on cockroaches dying. She's like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable.
she looks so damn scared. that prosecutor is a fucking loon.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
FARKING GOOMBAHS! FREE AMANDA!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Thanks Guest! ______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:32pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:30pm.
Provy: OMG that rock climber!
Count down till he falls off...
Him and Rooney are my LOCKS for 2012 death pools.
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Where does Lohan fall in this pool?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
dirty they do...turn the channel.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
LMAo Provy I think Lara was feeling him
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:30pm.
Provy: OMG that rock climber!
Count down till he falls off...
Him and Rooney are my LOCKS for 2012 death pools.
The family and I ate like old people yesterday...went out for dinner at 4:15p.
:/
Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 1:30pm.
jinkasaurus is on!
Awh dammit I'm watching CNN.. does HLN have a live stream? I love me som Jinkasaurus
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Who Speeekee Italiano?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Provy: OMG that rock climber!
Count down till he falls off...
****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
jinkasaurus is on!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
@skabazzle...lol! so true.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm gonna need a translator for this Knox live stream
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
watchin hln...*bites nails*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
"If I ever run into Andy at a restaurant after I've had brunch while he's having dinner"
Hahahahaha @ this comment MK! The only thing better than a grumpy pepaw is a grumpy memaw fussing at you for not eating enough and then calling you fat in the same breath.
Loved the part about eating brunch while Andy eats his dinner. You gotta love old people meal times.
I must live under a rock because I have almost NO knowledge of the Amanda Knox case.
Verdict is suppose to be read @ 3:40 EST
Knox Live Stream:
http://www.ustream.tv/cbsnews
this made me laugh several times. not andy. mchael k. we love you, michael k. hey, have any of us ever shown up on your lawn? now thats an idea whose time has come!
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The McCanns Did It
That rock climber gave my balls motion sickness last night.
Haha, go Andy!
team bitchy pepaws.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
MK's mom is the best
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11