Self-proclaimed fashion icon Kanye West debuted his first womenswear collection in Paris yesterday and you can see that busted-fit mess here or you can go down to the Daffy’s changing room and go through the pile of “DO NOT WANT” clothes since that’s pretty much what his shit looks like. But the bigger mess was sitting in Gay Fish’s front row. It was some Halloween come early shit!
There were the Trollsens looking like the inbred secret twins of Wednesday Addams and Cousin Itt, Terry Richardson looking like the scariest monster of all Terry Richardson, Jared Leto looking like a young Suzanne Pleshette as a lesbian gallery owner (basically, he looked hotter than ever) and Ciara who was only there because Kanye thinks she’s one of the Kardashians. And then there was Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan’s weeping willow tits and Lindsay Lohan’s wonky nipples……
THOSE TEEFS! They look ashier than a zombie’s dusty b-hole. I just want to take a Swiffer duster to them and then moisturize them with some damn Lubriderm. THAT SKIN! It’s like somebody sanded off the fifteen layers of fake tanner with sandpaper, left it out in the rain overnight, whitewashed it and then sanded it some more. Skin should not look like a Shabby Chic dresser. THAT DRESS! I swear, LiLo trolled through some cemetery in Paris, dug up the grave of some ho who died in the 1800s and then ripped the rags right off of their bones.
But the good news is that if LiLo needs a job for October (which the bitch does), she can get one dancing with the other ghosts in the downstairs ballroom of the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.