Jessica Alba Just Had To Tell Us Why She Named Her Daughter Haven
The former miserable bump on a bitch who could turn the world off with her snarl (I miss THAT MiserAlba) baptized her brand new shiny baby daughter Haven (above with Honor) into the tabloid kingdom by presenting her in front of Not OK! Magazine's cameras for a quick check. And during her talk about babies with OK, Jessica Alba just had to get into the details of why she and her husband Coins Warren gave their daughter the name they gave her. Warning: If you're eating shrimp wonton soup for lunch, and a shot of fish broth just hit the back of your throat after you bit into a wet dough bag, you might want to save this story for never.
"When I delivered Haven she was born still inside the amniotic sac, which is rare. The doctor had never seen anything like it before. He grabbed the nurse and said: 'Look at this!' I was in the middle of pushing and he told me to hold on a minute and not to push! He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt and said: 'Oh I have to get my scrubs on for this!' The sac burst on its own after she came out. It was a trip.When I was in recovery we still hadn't chosen her name. Cash picked her up and said she came into the world in her 'safe haven' and it clicked right then for both of us."
Couldn't MiserAlba just lie to us and say that she named her baby friend after that SyFy show or that staring into the STAINS eyeballs of James Haven hypnotized her into going with that name. Honestly, Sac Burst would've been a better name than Haven.
via Digital Spy
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I kind of like the unusual names. Not like Apple or Pilot or Talulah but foreign names. Anything that sounds nice in Spanish and English . I have issues with common names. When I was in elementary school I had to share my name with at least 1 other girl. The most was with 4 girls which drove me up the wall. Same in junior high and high school (though not as much). At one point, I wanted to change it to Melina or something else.
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Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:28pm.
I wonder how many points Weight Watchers gives for an amniotic sack?
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LOL.
That's Victoria (the reindeer haha in my avatar, she is pretty funny) her middle name is Scarlett. I wanted to name her Scarlett Victoria but my husband said Scarlett sounded racist so we switched it. Then my sister got pissed and said that black people make up names like Shanana, DeMonte etc and that I should name my daughter whatever I want but didn't. Kinda regret it now, Scarlett is an up and coming name and it goes well with our ugly last name.
Why is the kid sticking out its tongue? Seems odd for a magazine picture.
actually, I kind of think that's a cool story... (if true)
my son's name is Lance Alexander
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Tonight I'm feeling to make you enjoy with a blowjob/I want to feel in my throat
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Raul Duke on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 12:50pm.
Raul's sac burst once on a pic of her ass.
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Hahahahahaha ! !
Raul knows some prime ass meat when he sees it.
I don't care what any of you bitches say about J.Alba. I think she is purty and hope her marriage lasts forever. If it doesn't then I will resume my stalking of her. NDN don't stalk the married. I'm classy that way.
My philosophy about names is that you can give the kid whatever strange name you want, AS LONG AS IT HAS A NORMAL NICKNAME.
And I think I prefer the idea that Miseralba named her kid after a SyFy show about a magic town in Maine. It's less gross than naming your kid after the amniotic sac.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Evil Digby
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 4:51pm.
Well, since everyone shared their kid`s names, here is my day late Dollar short ass:
Elijah (everyone calls him Eli) and Caleb. Pretty boring, i know.
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My two boys are Jonathan and David. :o)
Honor looks like a fucking Geico caveman...that being said, late as always, my kids are Adam and Alice. =)
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
It beats Amniotic Sac Warren, I suppose. Thanks for the visual, Jessica.
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
I love how childbirth stories make people squeamish! :D
Uncle Brain-Fart, those are nice names.
I don't have kiddos. But if I did, I would name them something other than a variation of "Aidan," which has been mutilated to the moon and beyond. Too bad, it's a nice Irish name.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
I guess my kids would be called Epidural, Percocet, and Motrin.
Sarah Smile
Submitted by yuga on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 3:34pm.
LMAO @ Chancie!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm going to be sentimental for a moment and share what I'd like to name my daughter, if I ever have one: Clara.
*ovaries skip a beat*
Well, since everyone shared their kid`s names, here is my day late Dollar short ass:
Elijah (everyone calls him Eli) and Caleb. Pretty boring, i know.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Uh...thanks. Why do people feel the need to go into excruciating detail about the gory details of the birth. TMI. "And then YES, it was there...the PLACENTA. In all its goopy bloody gut-sy glory. I will now proceed to go into detail about how I peed all over myself." Honestly, a simple "We're very happy with our new daughter" would've been just fine.
Haven is okay...she could've done worse.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
"What kind of ghetto ass doctor shows up to deliver a baby in basketball shorts?"
Dying. Just had a baby and I'd have given MAJOR side-eye to an O.B. who showed up clad for the gym. Actually, the anesthesiologist showed up wearing scrub bottoms, the hospital clogs, and a white tee-shirt - it was the middle of the night and he was on call. Bless his heart, he apologized profusely for not having a scrub top on, but he said he figured it was more important to get to a laboring mother in pain ASAP.
Sarah Smile
My kids have normal names, too. Adrian and Alexandria. I'm just not creative, lol.
Anyway, I've seen more paparazzi pics of her lately than during her whole career. Not spending so much time with Haven, are we?
I will say that even though she trapped him into marriage, that she and Cash look happy together.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
I love the Steven King TV show Haven. From all the other weird names our there Haven isn't too bad.
In my kids classes there are: Riley (boy), Weston, Sryiah, Abdouli, Parker, to start.
My kids "normal" names seem like the "out there" names compared to these, as they are out numbered by "off" names.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:16pm.
I have a cousin who had 8 children and named them: Mark, Matthew, John, Luke, Paul, Elizabeth, Mary and Rachel.
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The boys could form a band and call themselves "The Apostles"
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:16pm.
I have a cousin who had 8 children and named them: Mark, Matthew, John, Luke, Paul, Elizabeth, Mary and Rachel.
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wow now that is biblical! but i like the biblical names. i like an interesting name here and there, but some of the ones people are coming up with these days are vomit inducing.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I don't know what's worse, being named after your juicy sack or named after the place where your parents conceived you (a la Bryce Dallas Howard and her siblings). Fucking gross. Can't you just pick something that sounds NICE?
I once dated a guy named Weston and after we broke up a while after I dated his brother Kenton (yeah, I'm an asshole). I always hated those names. Rhyming names?! My sister and I are twins and thank Christ we don't have rhyming names.
Horny teenage boys are going to have a field day with their names when they're in high school.
All of my cousins seem to love giving their kids WTF-worthy names. One of them named their little girl Chancie. CHANCIE! Ho didn't even bother to ask our other cousin, Chance, whether or not he appreciated the girl sharing part of his name. Same lady has another girl named Chaycie. Another cousin has a boy named Jayton. Then there's Braylie, Trenton, Tracen, and Mikayla. Some of those aren't terrible, but when I need someone to tell me how you spell the kids' damn name, something is wrong. I can't say too much, because I'm a girl with a boy's name that is both uncommon (but still normal) and spelled differently.
If I ever have kids, I actually plan on giving them normal names (like Amy and James), because by that time normal won't be normal anymore, and there won't be 20million kids with the same name.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 2:31pm.
Exactly. My teenage son is a freak in his class full of Aidens, Jadens, Kadens, Ashlings, Valkyries, Braquels, Jashleys and Talons all because I named him Joseph.
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all of those names are hideous. well valkyrie is kind of cool, but still kind of strange.
maddie and emma are the two i see alllll the damn time. almost to the point that if someone is showing me pics of their baby girl i want to ask so is this maddie, or emma?
my kid got a nice jewish boys name.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I agree with the non trendy names my kids are 16 (twins) and 12 Ben, Nic, and. Victoria.
My son has friends, two brother their names are Billy and Jimmy in high school. THEY have the odd names now with all the Austins Ryans and Tylers. Don't fall for the trendy names. Lots of Hannahs my daughters age, 3 in her grade alone always had to say Their last initial when talking, it was a pain
This "Latino Gwyneth Paltrow" must have a giant vag hole,for a full term baby AND full sac to come out whole... just sayin..
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 2:08pm.
Submitted by Athina on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:32pm.
I don't care if Jessica thinks it's cute, that stupid kid should not be sticking her tongue out at the camera. I fucking hate obnoxious kids, and I hate parents who tolerate it even more.
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Agreed. When a kid this young does it, I assume she probably behaves terribly and nobody is going to tell her what to do.
She's Miseralba's kid, so she's probably spoiled rotten and awful to be around.
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i co-sign this! what's not to co-sign anyway?
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Guess Tom Cruise was outside the delivery room waiting to eat that amniotic sac.
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Ha. They lightened mom's & both girls' skin.
Speaks volumes. No hispanics!
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Haven, Honor, watever, it's still Beaner to me.
My kids stand out in their classes full of boys with trendy names. My kids are named Adam and Ricky.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:16pm.
What ever happened to Lisa, Mary, Karen or Sue. What happened to James, John, Paul or Robert.
because there are a billion of them and if your last name is common too, there are probably hundreds of people who are living who have your name. lots of innocent people end up on the terrorist watch list because of this, to list one issue with it.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:16pm.
What ever happened to Lisa, Mary, Karen or Sue. What happened to James, John, Paul or Robert. There are a ton of other classic names out there but people want a strange name.
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Exactly. My teenage son is a freak in his class full of Aidens, Jadens, Kadens, Ashlings, Valkyries, Braquels, Jashleys and Talons all because I named him Joseph.
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:44pm.
Haha, my oldest son's teacher gave me shit over my kid's name. Her own son however is named Kalop.
if the 'a' in Kalop is soft, that sounds like the sound poop makes when it's dropping into the toilet bowl.
whatever she was smoking when she named that kid, I don't want any. O_o
More interesting is the gross part about the the jacked-up LA doc. What the fuck? No scrubs? Was this delivery in the back of a taxi??
Submitted by Athina on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:32pm.
I don't care if Jessica thinks it's cute, that stupid kid should not be sticking her tongue out at the camera. I fucking hate obnoxious kids, and I hate parents who tolerate it even more.
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Agreed. When a kid this young does it, I assume she probably behaves terribly and nobody is going to tell her what to do.
She's Miseralba's kid, so she's probably spoiled rotten and awful to be around.
If Jessica Alba worked a real job in an office, she'd be the one everybody avoids in fear of getting sucked into a boring, long-winded conversation.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
A brown baby? That's not even a tan baby.
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"Thank God the water here is warm, because my swimsuit was quite small." (Theologian, climatologist, model V. Budd)
Even though Honor takes after Coins, I do think she's cute. Too soon to tell with Haven, but she'll probably be cute too.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Haha, my oldest son's teacher gave me shit over my kid's name. Her own son however is named Kalop.
Submitted by WhiskeyRiverGirl on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:33pm.
I am so glad that I gave my kids nice, normal names.
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Bastard and Accident?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
"Coins" Warren; I love it and I love you Michael K.
Submitted by BoredSlore on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:36pm.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:23pm.
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A RIPPIN' AND A TEARIN'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVtEX1J7tXQ&feature=related
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The first time I ever saw A Rippin And A Tearin I was both skeeved out and laughing my ass off.
That is one seriously whacked out dude!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 1:23pm.
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A RIPPIN' AND A TEARIN'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVtEX1J7tXQ&feature=related
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SCARRED.FOR.FUCKING.LIFE
When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
I am so glad that I gave my kids nice, normal names.
I think it's sweet. Kids are the best, isn't that right Oops and Ohgawddammit.
I don't care if Jessica thinks it's cute, that stupid kid should not be sticking her tongue out at the camera. I fucking hate obnoxious kids, and I hate parents who tolerate it even more.