With his pubes of a cherub locks smelling like Nice ‘N Easy and his mighty viking oar legs covered in dad jeans from Mervyn’s going out of business sale, ASkars is embracing the homely to play a normal looking person in Disconnect which shot scenes in Yonkers, NY today. Yes, it’s obvious that ASkars is trying to Charlize Theron his way to an Oscar by camouflaging his natural SWEDISH GOD OF THE GODS hotness with the wardrobe of a father of three you’d stand behind at Chili’s To Go, but I’m glad he did. Because this is some shit that should make you swoon out of your reasonably-priced cotton panties.
This ASkars probably smells like Palmolive soap (because the soap dispenser full of Dial in his shower ran out), only stays in motels where he can use his AAA card, still uses a Thomas Guide, always asks the waiter at Carrows if they have specials and only answers the phone by saying “Yell-o!” May the viking gods slap me in the loins with a thunderbolt for saying this, but I prefer my ASkars served like this. This is some realness I can get into.
I mean, this ASkars’ idea of a hot Saturday night is probably sharing a bowl of Jiffy Pop and a bottle of Chateau Diana while reading Joyful Noise poems together before getting into some lights off missionary sex on his Jennifer Convertible. How can you fucking not prefer this ASkars?!