Take Cover! JLo's In Heat Again!
Lock your windows, bring in your trash cans, turn the porch light off and tell the children not to open their eyes until morning, because now that JLo has been released from the cage in Skeletor's dungeon she's going wild, yowling at the moon, spraying her scent at the walls (smells like Glow) and sticking her culito hole in the faces of strangers hoping that someone takes pity upon her and gives her a scratch!
At the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Saturday night, JLo strangled a Muppet with her ass cheeks and then wore it as a trophy before she went full horny in front of the audience and humped on anything that didn't run from her. An official from the zoo arrived on the scene and tried to catch her with a net, but JLo can not and will not be tamed! JLo ran like a banshee with a hot asshole into Pure nightclub and continued to try so hard to be sexy that she pushed out a kidney stone with the word "STOP" etched into it. Don't listen to that kidney stone, JHo! You keep working it like only an old whore can!
And here's some EXCLUSIVO backstage and frontstage footage of JLo going wild on Saturday night:
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake
Submitted by guest on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:37pm.
what does get a q-tip mean? educate a ho. idk this.
From what I know, people stick a Q-Tip on female cats during heat to ease the stress of them in heat.
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(*blank stare) Jayzus! Do you think the person who thought that up was just kind-hearted or a sicko? Thankfully, I knew to get them spayed before they went into heat. I missed the mark once and I wanted to kill her for being so slutty. Once was enough! :-)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Could she be any uglier in that 1st picture?! OMG! that stupid opened mouth look should have been retired back in the 90's.
anyone catch the Living Color repeats? Fly Girl was hot! WTF did she do to herself?!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Well, I don't care enough to read all the arguements back and forth between all you cunts.
So here's my unauthorized 2 cents....
JLo looks old and haggard.
Her spanx aren't holding the cellulite in that shrink-wrapped white dress.
Black tights? 1990 called...
Sexyface FAIL.
oh, and I don't give a flying fuck about her kids or who's watching them.
or peeps could just have their pets spayed &/or neutered instead. *said in best bob barker voice*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
my mom had a fancy show cat when we were little, and when that bitch would get into heat and start screaming, she would seriously q-tip her ass. J-Lo needs more like a dishwashing brush.
Have you ever heard this fat-assed idiot speak? She has like a sixth grade ghetto education, and can only discuss pop culture and Hollywood-related subjects. This skank should be turning tricks, but instead she's a millionaire roll model? Ha ha ha we're doomed....
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 6:02pm.
PinkTransAm, i see your big feet and raise you a bunion.
Whatcha got?? ;-))
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I also have big hands, and since I am not a guy.. there there nothing sexy about it lol
You can get popcorn at the music festival.
Why is the popcorn the size of an advil with a pink elephant painted on it? And why does one kernal cost $50?
Well thats because its that new futuristic triple whammy popcorn, one kernel is all you need.
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
The best thing about being a medical assistant is you get to wear scrubs!
JLo is back to being JHo. Y'all can rest now.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:17pm.
I think her kids are cute and also probably have no souls.
LOLZ
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
ubf...ohmygahd. thxs for the link tho.
& thxs cupcakey.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
So sick of this bitch and her "sexy face." If I see that commercial of hers one more freakin' time, I'm gonna scream.
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
@pinktransam
You aint never lied!
Someone people just need to relax; take a xanax!
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
The best thing about being a medical assistant is you get to wear scrubs!
PinkTransAm, i see your big feet and raise you a bunion.
Whatcha got?? ;-))
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:57pm.
*sits down with a bowl of popcorn*
This is gonna get good.
Yes I'm sure you could get popcorn at the Music Festival in Las Vegas!
Everyone seems so defensive today...even on here. Damn. If I took offense to every thing that everyone said on this site I would never leave the house. Bleach blonde hair? Check. Big feet? Check. Size 4? No check. I lurk a lot more than I post and think you guys are all funny and smart and only half serious. I never understand why people get so offended and leave?
Pathetic.
*sits down with a bowl of popcorn*
This is gonna get good.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
JHO Bag is the most desperate, pathetic, used up, broke down, untalented, low class trash. I blame the woman who shot Selena. Had that never happened, we never would of heard of this part time over the hill weave wearing Latina bitch.
She Stinks!
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:48pm.
Nova: sure! It just meas that I'll get this over with sooner! : P
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Sweet...get another chair...I fear I may go next! ;-)
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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:46pm.
(0:
lol! It tickles my funny bone to hear working moms (in bars no less) insult little defenseless kids and other working mom. I'm just quirky that way! TEAM SNARK
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like sands through the hourglass....
I'm with M.E. Fishy has gotten in little digs at her while acting all sweet and innocent for a long time. M.E.'s right on point with this one.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:46pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:36pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:12pm.
GO HOME AND MOTHER YOUR TWO FUGLY BRATS!
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So moms can't have a fun night on the town? :( It's probably ok from time to time. If not, what would we have to make fun of? :)
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Since when is it not allowed to post snarky comments on dlisted.
You act like M.E said something about you, given how many times you have posted a response to the same comment she made.
Geez.
Is this better-
YAY JLO! YOU GO GURL! EARN THAT MONEY! I KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS!
*scurries over to JLO fansite for validation*
If I might give my 2 cents...let's face it, I'm sure her kids are well taken care of by her staff of nannies. She's got the money to afford the best child care. If she wants to go out and make a complete ass of herself, the kids will be just fine.
*even JLO fansite hates me*
http://everything2.com/title/How+to+calm+a+cat+in+heat
Here you go, Guest... the things you learn on D-listed.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:26pm.
J-Ho has enough money that she doesn't NEED to work.
Stop trying to pick a fight with me fishy.
Maybe if you were a little more UP on recent events you wouldn't be such a cunt to me.
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HUH? I'm picking a fight? Some moms like to work and it give them a sense of self-fulfillment. Especially when they are in debt up to their eyeballs (G5s don't grow on trees.) Why not? Shake that ass, Jlo! LOL!!
:D
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like sands through the hourglass....
Nova: sure! It just meas that I'll get this over with sooner! : P
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Submitted by guest on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:37pm.
what does get a q-tip mean? educate a ho. idk this.
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From what I know, people stick a Q-Tip on female cats during heat to ease the stress of them in heat.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:36pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:12pm.
GO HOME AND MOTHER YOUR TWO FUGLY BRATS!
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So moms can't have a fun night on the town? :( It's probably ok from time to time. If not, what would we have to make fun of? :)
**********************
Since when is it not allowed to post snarky comments on dlisted.
You act like M.E said something about you, given how many times you have posted a response to the same comment she made.
Geez.
Is this better-
YAY JLO! YOU GO GURL! EARN THAT MONEY! I KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS!
*scurries over to JLO fansite for validation*
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:21pm.
Nova, can you please move the chair from under my feet when I put the noose around my neck? Thiiinnnk yeeeeeeewwwww!
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lol....why surely!! Can I play some of J-lo's newest album for ya while your contemplating that noose?? ;-P
+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg
I've seen cottage cheese firmer than those ass cheeks.
That iheart radio festival looked like the bomb diggity! I need to see a good concert soon or else I'm gonna explode!
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
The best thing about being a medical assistant is you get to wear scrubs!
what does get a q-tip mean? educate a ho. idk this.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Please no fighting, ladies.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:28pm.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:14pm.
I'm gonna shoot bowling balls out of my downstairs.
^^^^
Meh. Come back and represent when you can shoot them out of your ass, hoor.
Ok this is a tough one but I'm sure Jlo would probably like to go bowling too...I'm sure that's what you meant.
J.lo jus can't help herself. She has to be in the spotlight not to mention she's seriously trying to follow in elizabeth taylor's footsteps. There is no logical reason to be married/engaged that many times.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:30pm.
Everytime I see pics of singers who I know can't sing a lic,k looking like they are belting it like Aretha,I think to myself, "what the F- are they singing and those poor people's ears". JLo,please have a seat,girl. You look broke down and desperate.
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...while sounding like a cat on fire.
Everytime I see pics of singers who I know can't sing a lic,k looking like they are belting it like Aretha,I think to myself, "what the F- are they singing and those poor people's ears". JLo,please have a seat,girl. You look broke down and desperate.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
I'm embarrassed for her. All she needs is a jaunty nurses cap to go with that atrocious looking dress. It looks like those cheap halloween sexy nurse costumes.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:14pm.
I'm gonna shoot bowling balls out of my downstairs.
^^^^
Meh. Come back and represent when you can shoot them out of your ass, hoor.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:22pm.
He's so underrated. I'd watch a Jen Aniston rom-com if Terrance Stamp was in it. (I can say that because I no there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell TS would ever lower himself to such mindless cinematic dross.)
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I was just reading his wiki bio, and he's fascinating, and I didn't realize he was General Zod. He freaked me out when I was a kid - love him!
J-Ho has enough money that she doesn't NEED to work.
Stop trying to pick a fight with me fishy.
Maybe if you were a little more UP on recent events you wouldn't be such a cunt to me.
She is trying WAY too hard. She is coming off as desperate. Someone already mentioned this, and I agree, that she is already OVEREXPOSED. Go away already. I'm not a fan.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:23pm.
I've been scared of Terrence Stamp since I saw him rape that one hot Irish guy.
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Brings new meaning to his phrase "kneel before ZOD!!!"
I've been scared of Terrence Stamp since I saw him rape that one hot Irish guy.
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like sands through the hourglass....
OHMAHGAH - GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE, then a sugarfreeredbull lesser mind will shit out something similar and not as eloquent!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:16pm.
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I loved him in Priscilla - he portrayed such sweetness and sincerity with a little bit of an edge.
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He's so underrated. I'd watch a Jen Aniston rom-com if Terrance Stamp was in it. (I can say that because I know there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell TS would ever lower himself to such mindless cinematic dross.)
Nova, can you please move the chair from under my feet when I put the noose around my neck? Thiiinnnk yeeeeeeewwwww!
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:11pm.
TEAM JIZZZZZ
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I too love jizz
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
EMBARRASSING the way this woman acts, with two young children at home.
MK's description and video are spot on.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:12pm.
GO HOME AND MOTHER YOUR TWO FUGLY BRATS!
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So moms can't have a fun night on the town? :( It's probably ok from time to time. If not, what would we have to make fun of? :)
ETA Is it really possible to do that with the vagina?
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