Take Cover! JLo's In Heat Again!
Lock your windows, bring in your trash cans, turn the porch light off and tell the children not to open their eyes until morning, because now that JLo has been released from the cage in Skeletor's dungeon she's going wild, yowling at the moon, spraying her scent at the walls (smells like Glow) and sticking her culito hole in the faces of strangers hoping that someone takes pity upon her and gives her a scratch!
At the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas on Saturday night, JLo strangled a Muppet with her ass cheeks and then wore it as a trophy before she went full horny in front of the audience and humped on anything that didn't run from her. An official from the zoo arrived on the scene and tried to catch her with a net, but JLo can not and will not be tamed! JLo ran like a banshee with a hot asshole into Pure nightclub and continued to try so hard to be sexy that she pushed out a kidney stone with the word "STOP" etched into it. Don't listen to that kidney stone, JHo! You keep working it like only an old whore can!
And here's some EXCLUSIVO backstage and frontstage footage of JLo going wild on Saturday night:
• 
Desperation.
Period.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 6:03pm.
OMG, yes!!! I hate that friggin crap! I was trying to watch the Lions game the other day, and it kept coming on. If only her people knew that the more you hear a Gawd-awful J.Lo song, the more you hate it. . . they wouldn't be forcing it on everybody. Jeez Almighty, it is SO horrible. I used to want a Fiat because Jessica Wakefield drove one (well, she technically shared it with boring-ass Elizabeth). But now, HELL NO! Not with that talent-lite trick as their rep. I would NEVER.
Hell, I was half-drunk, enjoying the 30 Rock eps that are finally running in syndication at night, and that idiotic commercial came on, and I nearly broke my neck getting up to change the channel before the terrible singing started (my universal remote got decoded or something, and I dunno how to fix it). I will NOT have that irritating harpy bastardizing my precious 30 Rock reruns, dammit! She always tries to ruin anything that is good and pure and enjoyable. J.Lo is truly a plague upon mankind.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:07am.
That's not a big ass, but THIS is. *points towards major Dutch asset*
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Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 1:18am.
Can you really out-arse JLo? That's a mighty big claim, Mickey!!
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My ass sure can. Loooaaathe trying to dress this shelf.
The booty pic...... proof, ladies, that no matter how much cardio you do, or what kind of shape you're in, you need to do tricep work. Batwing alert!
oh this sad bitch lol this would be funny if it wasnt sad.
well at least she is rich and has money.
I love Glow! It keeps Me smelling clean between Saturday nite baths! Works for JLO doesn't it?
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 8:03am.
OMG J. Lo... Madonna did that shit with the scepter and throne like 9 years ago, only she wasn't fat. GET A GRIP! This bitch should open a clothing chain called Forever 1999 cause that's where the fuck she's living in her mind.
LOL at Forever 1999!
J.Lo does a great Lea Michele
OMG J. Lo... Madonna did that shit with the scepter and throne like 9 years ago, only she wasn't fat. GET A GRIP! This bitch should open a clothing chain called Forever 1999 cause that's where the fuck she's living in her mind.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
what can I say, other than bitch, go home, bake some cookies, hang out with your children and be ALONE for just one second...be introspective, listen to your own thoughts.
actually, if she did that, she'd probably go catatonic from ennui. of course, in that case, everybody wins.
She doesn't necessarily look old, she looks...dated.
And she has that pathetic air of "I"m still sexy, RIGHT?!" about her that once hot women get when they are no longer desired by their husbands. Xtina did the same thing.
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Buy the ticket, take the ride. ~ Hunter S. Thompson
Old washed up ho. She's so desperate, what a skank.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 12:07am.
That's not a big ass, but THIS is. *points towards major Dutch asset*
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Can you really out-arse JLo? That's a mighty big claim, Mickey!!
Can we talk about the pantyhose? What in Nancy Kerrigan hell? You know your old when you have your whole ass hanging out covered in bedazzled Silkies. Only a dementia'd memaw can pull that 'look' off. Secruity!
That's not a big ass, but THIS is. *points towards major Dutch asset*
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:08pm.
Silly Uncle Brainfart, the answer is simple. When JelLo is married, she's boring. When she's divorced and/or engaged, she's trashy skanky nouveau riche who somehow enthralls men with her ass and dresses like a ho. During the Bennifer I period, she was tabloid gold. Now they're hoping she'll do it again.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
JBlow is EVERYWHERE! Fiat, Khoels, and L'Oreal. Sofia Vega is right behind her.
Everything looks bad, but the worst, for me, are the sequined fishnets with open toe dancing shoes! Yuck! Who would put that together? JBlow RARELY wears pantyhose, let alone pantyhose with sandals? I want to barf on her racing stripe dress.
Lookin' like a mess of mis-match between "To Wong Foo" and "Coyote Ugly." UGH.
And J-Ho? NO. JUST. ALL. KINDS OF. NO! Bitch, you've got little kids!
I know it's hard for you, but class it the fuck up!
full zip shoulder-free turtleneck dresses are the best!!
ploop! ploop!!
That is one classy whore!
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Can she be any more desperate?
She looks good for having kids and being 187 years old.
That being said, can someone please send this old trollop the memo about how the train to 2000 left over a decade ago? Your cooperation in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
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“I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra.” - BritBrit
I dont like this bitch. Her time,has passed. Let the new whore (kim kardashian) enjoy her minute of fameLuvrobpatz
If u pay close attention. Shes actually gettin it thru the behind by the pdiddy lookin black guy...lol
Luvrobpatz
omg damnit JLO you iz 40 something or whatever CAN YOU PLEASE STOPPP?!! STOP. NO. That fug dress doesn't work either, just also fucking fyi. GOD.Damn.
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Bugs Bunny 'What's Opera, Doc?"- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2VMqQ6XnmI (Beginning portion)
Dre,Eminem, Skylar- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
I almost feel sorry for this stupid old woman. She reeks of desperation.
Post my comment.
J'lo kids,look like rats mixed with chichuahuas. Ugliest kids in hollywood i might say
Luvrobpatz
et reported that jada was front row @ skeletor's concert last nite.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She's a little too old for this shit. Sure she can show up to the clubs and shake her ass a little, but once you start posing like Paris Hilton it's time to grab a ginger ale and go home.
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 7:12pm.
lol! & venus is another one. let's name them all. shit they'll probably show every single one of them in the next 30 minutes. every other commercial break on dwts is more jho.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She is all alone by herself and looks desperate, how hard is it to bring a girl friend to enjoy an outing like that. but NOOOOO JLO has to be the ONLY ONE, prob doesn't have any friends to celebrate with her her new single status.
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If you don't like it, don't look at it!
that q-tip shit with cats is fucking disgusting. i first learned of that at dinner with a few friends. dinner of all places! this "friend" of mine brought her friend, a person i did not know. one of my friends was talking about her cat in heat, and this bitch proceeds to go into detail about the q-tip. at a dinner table. loud enough for others to hear. disgusting pig bitch. luckily i am no longer friends with the chick that brought her. her friends were something else.
oh and j.lo, give it the fuck up.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Old hag.
I will never look at a q-tip the same way ever again even though I clean my ears every day (ewww). I also couldn't read past the explanation! Thanks! =)
Guest she has like 8 commercials. All she needs is todo a tampon and a metamucil one!
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Submitted by MinxInSpace on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 7:03pm.
She looks drunk as shit. Ain't nothin' wrong with that but I could have sworn she claimed that she doesn't drink or smoke.
Guess a third divorce will send a bitch to drinking!
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Yeah, I remember reading that she didn't drink. She looks totally drunk and sloppy. And she's not old, but she sure looks "ripe" in these pictures. She needs to go home and go to bed is what these pictures look like to me.
Another No Visible Talent who makes tons of money because, well, sex sells!
I know so many men who like women who are skinny but with a big butt. Big butts much like big boobs do not happen on skinny girls in nature very often. (most of them created in an operating room not by the hand of god). If that girl does have that "itty bitty waist with a round thing in your face" chances are she has hamhock thighs to support her big ass mounds. J Lo proves this.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
That white dress really sucks.
LOVE THAT SCENE!!
"I no like you anyway. You got little ding-a-ling. "
*wiggles pinky*
CLASSICAL!
She looks drunk as shit. Ain't nothin' wrong with that but I could have sworn she claimed that she doesn't drink or smoke.
Guess a third divorce will send a bitch to drinking!
Jlo is a dancer,singer,actress and model...I think, anyway she can't stop being an entertainer no less than Hohan can stop being a drunken, coked out, narcissiscissoring exhibitionist.
ever sleek by l'oreal is another one.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Reg. Q-tipping the cat. Our neighbors growing up were breeding Turkish Van Cats and when one would get in heat, my friend would use the mouth piece of his sister`s flute and rub it on the cat`s vagina and then put the flute back in the case. I `m still dry-heaving thinking about that shit 25 years later...
GAH.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 6:22pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake
Submitted by guest on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:37pm.
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(*blank stare) Jayzus! Do you think the person who thought that up was just kind-hearted or a sicko?
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has to be a little bit of both.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
After having three pups, I took myself down to the vet and had mahself spayed. Oh hell yeah!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
jho has a khol's commercial too!!!! not just fiat. ugh.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 6:11pm.
or peeps could just have their pets spayed &/or neutered instead. *said in best bob barker voice*
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IKR?! All my girls are spayed so they don't end up living the life of a single mother on a reality show!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Albatross, which commercial? She's got like 20 right now!
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