I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker , because witnessing a superficial bag of delusion that resembles a collagen-stuffed shaved hamster give the worst dating tips ever (example: men only love straight hairs) speaks to the dead parts of my soul. Patti Stanger couldn’t match a Dominican peen to John Travolta’s b-hole if she tried, but I still love watching her make a fool of herself in every episode and the foolery trickled into Watch What Happens Live last night.
Patti nearly knocked Andy Cohen’s vagabond eye back into place after she said that all gays are Grindr-loving sluts and the secret to keeping a man lies in your ability to suck a dick good. Patti then earned an open letter from GLAAD when she told a gay man that her mistaking him for being straight is a compliment, because nobody wants to be with a queen. I RESEMBLE THAT COMMENT, YOU PLASTIC COW!
None of this exactly shocking to anybody who has spent five minutes with her show, but I love how she shows how clue deficient she is by saying all of this in front of a gay man while promoting her show that’s on the gayest network next to The Trinity Network.
And if Patti meant it when she said that you will win a dude’s heart forever if you suck it right, then I guess we know the real reason why her last engagement to a man ended. Just like a hamster nibbling on a carrot, bitch must be all teefs.