BREAKING: Patti Stanger Ejaculates Dumb Shit From Her Mouth

I didn't like her before this and now I just hope her show gets cancelled. Why does anybody want relationship advice from someone who couldn't get her man to marry her after nearly a decade? Does that mean that she doesn't give good blow jobs or did he just not want to reproduce with something so hideous?

Isn't Andy Cohen "secretly" in a relationship with Anderson Cooper? He got so nervous when she put him on the spot about his love life, it was cute.

never seek parenting advise from people who don't have kids, and never seek the services of a matchmaker who's never been married.

if she had any clue she'd know that a big part of why she's never been married is cuz she's a ball busting battleax who won't stop yammering to save her soul.

where did I see that she broke up with her fiance because she wanted better sex? uh, how come you didn't know about his sex repertoire before he put a ring on it? are you saving yourself for marriage? bitch, you're 50. anyway, dollars to donuts that if you shut the fuck up every once in a while, you'd get better sex. I mean, what guy can keep it up while Nancy Grace over here is barking out orders?

suck over here no over there DUMBASS
then stick it in NOT THAT FAR
ok why'd you stop sucking and twist my nipple too NO YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

I'm not a dude but if I were in that instance, I...I'd rather beat off. :-P

some man hasn't swept this delightful ray of sunshine off her feet and made her his queen bride? ya don't say! :-P

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:56pm.

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I would say that Catholic girls are sluttier than Jewish girls (my opinion!).

I think it comes from all those years of "Thou shalt not..." and weekly confession etc.

It makes you WANNA, and (as George Carlin said) WANNA is a sin all by itself!

(I am a lapsed Cat'lick, if that matters to anyone)

I see your point...so dirty! Jewish girls really are as slutty I think...just without the guilt attached.

She always brags about her amazing track record yet it seems like every time I turn this show on, which is all the time because I have no life, it ends with the couple NOT going on a second date.

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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK

Submitted by gonzodie on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 2:05pm.

yes, because anecdotal evidence from some random on the internet completely proves that gays are sluttier than straights. pleeease. i've known so many straight ho ass sluTs with a capital T, and they would always be the christian or catholic girls. the hypocrisy! and the shit this broad says about queens...que que?1?

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Listen I agree with you on not stereotyping the gays...but you realize that you slam the guy for using "anecdotal evidence"...and then immediately use your own anecdotal evidence to paint Catholic and Christian girls with the same stereotypical brush, right?

Anyways, I've seen some sluts in my time, and more often than not they end up being redhaired adoptees with jug ears, big sloppy racks and low self-esteem.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt

I watch the MM from time to time and it always strikes me how fucking rude and clueless PS is. The people who audition for this show must have incredibly low self-esteem (or a pathetic need to be on-camera no matter what). I mean, the woman who assists her in evaluating the worthiness of potential dates has a hideous, ridiculous-looking neon pink curl on top of her head, and her husband has this dopey Frankenstein-hair thing going on--and they are judging others?! They look like a couple of pure assholes.

And Patti herself is simply fugly. She looks like my avatar except a million years older and cuntier.

I can't help but love this bitch's show.

I can't help but love this bitch's show.

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 5:07pm.

Patti is a matchmaker who can't find a man for herself. So why does anyone take her advice?

Those who can't do, teach. I think it's a little tragic that she can't find herself a man but that doesn't mean she can't help others simply because of that fact (whether her advice is good or not is another story). There's plenty of times when we don't follow our own advice but can still dish out perfectly logical thoughts for third parties.

No amount of surgery will make that woman pretty, there's just too much inner ugly that keeps seeping through her pores.

Submitted by viridian on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 3:59pm.

Though your username is one of my favorite colors, I must disagree. Andy Cohen does something that completely distinguishes him from other executives which is that he holds these ridiculous reality caricatures accountable for what they do & say in a way that is FULFILLING to straight women who watch his programming. He takes the perspective of the viewer which is A) gay men and B) straight women and puts things into perspective very nicely rather than just sitting idly by unlike most higher ups at networks. He takes ownership and it's so goddamn sexy.

What I wouldn't give to have him in the midst of a romp that fills the room with a thick foggy mist of sensuality. Sweet gravy marie, I'd like to lasso that wild pony and ride him all the way to Valhalla. What devilish steed he'd be as we fall into a mutual sleazy devotion.

*lifts brows suggestively*

I am so gonna conquer him.

Submitted by gonzodie on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 2:05pm.
I agree that her comments are stereotypical and shallow and not typical of the gays, but I've been to a few gay clubs in my life and I've watched gay man go behind a wall or a building with a man they've known at most an hour, give the guy a bj, and come back and start dancing with another they met 5 minutes after giving the first stranger a blowjob. I've seen this happen more times than I can count on one hand. Now, I've done some hotastic stuff in my life, but I cant compete with that shit and I can't recall any of my straight friends doing stuff like that.
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yes, because anecdotal evidence from some random on the internet completely proves that gays are sluttier than straights. pleeease. i've known so many straight ho ass sluTs with a capital T, and they would always be the christian or catholic girls. the hypocrisy! and the shit this broad says about queens...que que?1?

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I would say that Catholic girls are sluttier than Jewish girls (my opinion!).

I think it comes from all those years of "Thou shalt not..." and weekly confession etc.

It makes you WANNA, and (as George Carlin said) WANNA is a sin all by itself!

(I am a lapsed Cat'lick, if that matters to anyone)

Submitted by viridian on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 3:23pm.
She's a horrid bigot, but if anyone deserves to be bitch slapped, it's Andy Cohen for constantly finding the most reprehensible asshole women and letting them tear each other to shreds on national TV for entertainment, calling the it "Real Housewives."
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THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^

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like sands through the hourglass....

Andy should've gotten out of that chair and smacked her; I'm not even gay and even I was offended by her blather...

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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...

Shes always talking about how if she were 25 again she would rule the world with the knowledge she has now.....I think alot of older ladies have that mentality, they become astute to the power that their youth held and resentful over how they didnt use it when they had the chance. All that bitterness builds up and they end up sharing that bitterness with the rest of the world. They become self-righterous in their bigotry.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
The best thing about being a medical assistant is you get to wear scrubs!

Patti is a matchmaker who can't find a man for herself. So why does anyone take her advice?

(she's right about the bj's though, I can't lie)

FUCK you Patti! And go fuck yourself with your vibrator right now, cause you is a single bitch who's never been married, talkin watery diarrhea shit.
Now stop talking.

I've been hating on this homely bitch for a LLOONNGG time, and really, really wanted to like her at one tiny point, but she is so fucking mean and petty...esp. to women..I always thought it was a front but now I truly think she is just an extremely JLZ H8R..cause even with plastic surgery and diets she is still fugly. Bitch please, if you are setting people up for love as a living, you have to have a little compassion for all women and men. She said something last night that made me want to punch my t.v., this woman had a man who could not find work...exactly my situation, her advice, DUMP HIM QUICK...which would be easy if there was nothing good or redeemable about the man. My man does all the chores while I work my ass off, he drives me everywhere, cause I could not do the drive (3 hour plus drive to my job)...she bases all relationships on money and looks...and thank God there is more to love than that. The economy will eventually turn around for people, and I hate to think people follow this clueless sluts advice on love, cause lots of people probably walk away from the best love they would ever have due to the superficial advice this plastic whore gives...after all see how succesful she is at love? I rest my case.

Someone, please make this ho disappear.

Please, they're both women-hating cockshits. You know Andy likes to put the most vapid, air-headed, ugly ass silicone dumpsters on Bravo so they can all rip each other's throats out, dogfight style, for entertainment. And Patti hates everyone nowadays, especially women her own age. But she does like to be a loudmouth about gay sex, probably because she thinks it makes her sound hip and young. She's like in her mid-50s. But bitch looks pretty good, I must say.

Dear Patti Stanger,

No amount of plastic surgery will make you attractive.

That is all.

That's probably WHY Cohen gave her a show, they are birds of the same feather........he's just a little better at hiding it.

Submitted by ZenShaman on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 4:08pm.

I've seen her show and she is very cruel to the women she recruits for her mixer. It is horrific that she does get business because she is extremely unprofessional.

oh... poor, wittle andy!! his eye rolls of disdainment after stanker made some off color remarks. quit being such a fruitcake, cohen!! your whole schtick is being outrageous...i.e. let's drink on air to show how cool i am, in hopes people say something outrageous. but someone actually says something outrageous and he feigns being aghast. what a fuckin' queen. and everyone sticking up for him is a queen, too. learn how to suck a dick so all a y'all can keep a god damn man!!

I've seen her show and she is very cruel to the women she recruits for her mixer. It is horrific that she does get business because she is extremely unprofessional.

I never realized how many sleazy ass millionaires there were in the us until I watched her show. One young millionair pissed outside on his golf course on the first date.

She dated Randy Quaid. She said it was the best oral sex she ever had. ahahahahahahahaha

Paaaaleeeeze, what you're suggested she does to gay men, Cohen does to straight women! Have you watched BRAVO? Are you fucking kidding?

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 3:48pm.

Andy Cohen is my man and this cuntiferous twat crossing him doesn't sit well in the slightest. She's the classic case of a woman who probably has many gay men in her life yet marginalizes them, thinking them to be property or stereotypes

She has to be drunk. I mean, what the hell???

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http://evolutionflashback.blogspot.com

Omg This bitch. Read about this earlier and I wanted to scream "BITCH, YOU CAN'T EVEN SET YOURSELF UP IN RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS, MFER PLEASE!" She is too much.

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Bugs Bunny 'What's Opera, Doc?"- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2VMqQ6XnmI (Beginning portion; there's an ending clip as well)
Dre,Eminem, Skylar- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e

Andy Cohen is my man and this cuntiferous twat crossing him doesn't sit well in the slightest. She's the classic case of a woman who probably has many gay men in her life yet marginalizes them, thinking them to be property or stereotypes. I think the Jew remark was odd seeing as how she herself is a Jew...self-hating? Possibly but she may hold these feelings about Jewish men because she wants to marry one and not a single one was has filled her ditch with cement in YEARS. Ironically, she's a SINGLE matchmaker.

The anti-feminist remarks are probably because she gets no business in NYC trying to saddle up skin-stretched BIMBOS with sweaty-faced "entrepreneurs".

Damn though, I want to MAKE. ANDY. MINE. Look at him, I would love to feel his muscles tense in a lover's grasp. He lights my candle 8 times over in ONE night of seeing his super-sexy, Jewish self...goddamn, why can't he be my valentine? Mozzzzllllee me into tomorrow, you stud!

I don't think I've ever seen an episode of her show that wasn't offensive. Her complete reliance on looks to match people up is just sad- ever notice how it never, ever works? The intro used to say she had a "98% success rate." It doesn't say that anymore. I think people stopped buying it after seeing mess after mess on those dates.

Also, the no red heads and no one with curly hair rules are pathetic. Not everyone wants plastic blondes with flat-ironed hair. I guess that's a CA thing, because I never see that crap around me. I can't imagine people actually going after it on purpose.

She's a horrid bigot, but if anyone deserves to be bitch slapped, it's Andy Cohen for constantly finding the most reprehensible asshole women and letting them tear each other to shreds on national TV for entertainment, calling the it "Real Housewives." Please bitch, why don't you put a show together of catty gay men instead? Why is okay to hate anything with a vagina unless it's swimming in the lady pond? He just got back what he gives to women on Bravo programming 7 days a week; HATE. How's the female version of you sound Andy? Ha!

Felt really bad for Andy.

No one should be subjected to so much verbal diarrhea in one sitting.

Go flush your mouth Patti.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 1:03pm.
ummmmmm sounds about right to me, I mean if Patty is anything she is HONEST.
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yes, she's brutally honest about HER opinions and principles. You can't just mold the world into her views and beliefs. People aren't malleable like silicone.

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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

As a Gay Man (to preface this) I was kind of disgusted by Patti saying this, but I can't say that it doesn't have a ring of truth around it.

Gay (Male) Culture has never favored monogamy because we live in a heterosexist society. A lot of 20 somethings I know that are gay and in NYC are just as slutty as their straight counterparts. They do not want to be tied down, and more and more of them question the need to actually be "married" (which, nowadays, a lot more straight couples are questioning).

Gay men have always been told that we're non-monogamous. Sadly, there is a huge reflection in the culture of looking young, staying young, trading up, and living well. I've always felt pressure to go to the gym, be thin, more muscled, rich, have nice skin, good clothes, etc. I mean, look at what LOGO promotes: the "A-List", a bunch of famewhores that encapsulate vanity.

It parallels (not entirely) what young women face, but without the ease and ability of starting a family, the value of monogamy (which later results in marriage) is lower.

Therefore, yes, she was rude to say it (and I don't think she understands the nuiances as much as she was reinforcing stereotypes). But do I feel that a majority of gay culture has been influenced to think this way? Yes.

Do I think times are changing some and that more gay men want monogamous relationships? Yes, I think things are starting to change. But it'll be a long way before people get off Manhunt, Adam4adam, Grindr, Craiglist, and every other permutation of Quick-Sex-For-Now sites, in addition to the Hook-up Culture we fetishize.

So, yeah. Also, for reference I'm 23 and have been in an 8 month, long term, monogamous relationship (and I don't want it to be open, and neither does my boyfriend)!

MK you forgot about the parts where she said that it's ok to go out with a guy who has one ball but not ok to go out with an uncircumsized guy. Also she said to Andy Cohen (who is Jewish mind you) that all Jewish men lie. I could go on and on with her fuckery..,

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I'M DONESVILLE!
Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!

Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 1:09pm.
Fishsticksfan, take it from a GAY MAN, what patty says it true, NO ONE wants a queen and gay guys just wana hit and quit, very rare do they want a relationship.
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one of my good friends, one I see on the regular and have known since HS, is gay and in a long-term monogomous relationship. I think they're going on 4 years. He's good and fit too. But he is far from a queen and dislikes gays acting overly queer, that too is true. You'd really need to have an outstanding gaydar to even guess he's gay.

You just can't generalize like that. Lots of straight women are tomboys, lots of straight men are metro sexuals....

slurpee is right, diversity is a great thing.

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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters

HA!

Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 2:33pm.

"Why is her face?"

"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"

Why is her face?

I agree that her comments are stereotypical and shallow and not typical of the gays, but I've been to a few gay clubs in my life and I've watched gay man go behind a wall or a building with a man they've known at most an hour, give the guy a bj, and come back and start dancing with another they met 5 minutes after giving the first stranger a blowjob. I've seen this happen more times than I can count on one hand. Now, I've done some hotastic stuff in my life, but I cant compete with that shit and I can't recall any of my straight friends doing stuff like that.
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yes, because anecdotal evidence from some random on the internet completely proves that gays are sluttier than straights. pleeease. i've known so many straight ho ass sluTs with a capital T, and they would always be the christian or catholic girls. the hypocrisy! and the shit this broad says about queens...que que?1?

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Yes, slutiness pans all demographics! *eye roll* to anybody who says otherwise.

Wow. I wonder it feels like to be stupid until the day you die.

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It's not that serious.
Sole member of the Jennifer Aniston cheer squad.

1. She's a dumbass

2. She is just saying what a lot of straight (but savvier) people are thinking, so I can't totally hate her.

3. I would not call this "homophobic," I would call it "heterosexist" (and sort of insulting).

4. She's still a dumbass.

THat cannot be true. If no one wanted a queen, why are there so many of them?

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"Bye, Whore" -MK

I agree that her comments are stereotypical and shallow and not typical of the gays, but I've been to a few gay clubs in my life and I've watched gay man go behind a wall or a building with a man they've known at most an hour, give the guy a bj, and come back and start dancing with another they met 5 minutes after giving the first stranger a blowjob. I've seen this happen more times than I can count on one hand. Now, I've done some hotastic stuff in my life, but I cant compete with that shit and I can't recall any of my straight friends doing stuff like that.
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yes, because anecdotal evidence from some random on the internet completely proves that gays are sluttier than straights. pleeease. i've known so many straight ho ass sluTs with a capital T, and they would always be the christian or catholic girls. the hypocrisy! and the shit this broad says about queens...que que?1?

How DARE she stereotype on Bravo!

Not the channel w/ those housewife shows about Jews/Wasps in NYC, Italians in Jersey, Blacks in Atlanta and blondes w/ tupperware tits in California!

This is outrageous!!!!!

"Dog & Dirty" is sounding more than a little like either a gay dance move or something having to do with cheese and a comb. Either way, I'm not feeling this shit.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

letinstar on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 1:59pm.

Patti is a half chromosome away from chyna....and unless this beast has a ring on her finger, she can keep her advice....

I s'pose they could have a 'clit-fight' to the death.

Who would win?

*thinks wewwy wewwy hard*

Wow. Robert Mugabe has more enlightened views on gay relationships. How can a woman so repellent on every level run a business/have a tv show centering on attracting the "right person"?