How does a multimillionaire lesbaby superstar get his 19-year-old girlfriend to cuddle with him under the top sheet when his babysitter walks out of the room to bang her head against the sink faucet for choosing the career she has chosen?
Well, in case you needed to be reminded of the fact that no child should have that kind of power or money, TMZ reports that Justin Bieber got an idea from Mr. Deeds (FROM MISTER FUCKING DEEDS!) and rented out the entire Staples Center in Los Angeles to give his girlfriend Selena Gomez a private screening of Titanic. You know, because a stadium bigger than John Travolta’s b-hole has the perfect acoustics to show a 4-hour long movie. Why do I have a look on my face like Elizabeth Perkin’s in Big when Tom Hanks jumps on the top bunk during their “sleepover“? Selena better join that babysitter at the head-banging sink faucet, because her life is officially Big.
A source says that Selena and Justin went to Demi Lovato’s show at the Nokia theater last night and afterward he took her underground (not a euphemism so don’t let your brain go there) and walked her to the Staples Center. The source also says that Justin has sold out the Staples Center three times so they gave him the place for free as a thank you.
Afterward, Selena lounged across the stadium seats and asked Justin to draw her like one of his girls on his Etch-A-Sketch, wearing this (aka a Heart of the Wonka Factory candy necklace), only this.
If Selena wasn’t pissed about this mess of a gift then I really can’t with her anymore. Justin shits liquid gold into his diapers every day and this is the cheap shit he gets Selena? If Justin doesn’t gift Selena with diamond-encrusted Big Wheels and platinum building blocks, what is she going to pawn after he eventually dumps her ass for Usher?
(Image via Instabieber)