Since you use all of your memory cells to keep track of how many of your morning bowel movements are banana shaped, let me refresh your brain on the recent stunt queen moves provided to you by the couple the sanitation department put together to keep the trash in one place. Back in July, Vanilla Gorilla and Kat Von D pretended they ended their engagement so whores would watch the season premiere of her reality show L.A. Ink. When the new season of L.A. Sink tanked and TLC threw it into a coffin a month later, Kat Von D and Vanilla Gorilla coincidentally announced that the power of love (and the need to keep their expenses down by sharing Valtrex prescriptions) brought them back together!
But last night, Kat Von D wrote a Facebook entry where she said that she’s no longer shaving her pussy bush into the shape of a Hitler stache so Vanilla Gorilla can get an extra thrill when she sits on his face. Beware: PLUGS galore ahead:
I’m sure this will be the most “uneventful” blog I have ever written – but its purpose is simply to answer a lot of the reoccurring questions I’ve been getting asked lately – and I’m hoping this will answer them for you 🙂
I think maybe the final episode of LA Ink left things a bit confusing to some. So in a nutshell here goes:
1. I am not in any way moving to Texas. I am not opening up another tattoo shop. And I am not leaving my shop here in Los Angeles, High Voltage Tattoo.
2. I am not in a relationship. (And I apologize for all the “back and forth” if it’s caused any confusion)
3. I am in no way retiring – (what does that even mean anyway???)
4. My tattoo shop is not closing, and is open for business like always! (Same goes for my art gallery, Wonderland – next door to High Voltage Tattoo.)
5. As hard as it is to sometimes let go of the things you are so accustomed to doing, I am happy to have done LA Ink, but am even more excited about new upcoming ventures – and cant wait to eventually share more about this with you all!
That’s all. I told ya it would be uneventful… 😉
This is the point in the post where I’m supposed to write an in-depth analysis of what went wrong, but I’d rather hear about your banana-shaped bowel movements.