Oh.
Since you use all of your memory cells to keep track of how many of your morning bowel movements are banana shaped, let me refresh your brain on the recent stunt queen moves provided to you by the couple the sanitation department put together to keep the trash in one place. Back in July, Vanilla Gorilla and Kat Von D pretended they ended their engagement so whores would watch the season premiere of her reality show L.A. Ink. When the new season of L.A. Sink tanked and TLC threw it into a coffin a month later, Kat Von D and Vanilla Gorilla coincidentally announced that the power of love (and the need to keep their expenses down by sharing Valtrex prescriptions) brought them back together!
But last night, Kat Von D wrote a Facebook entry where she said that she's no longer shaving her pussy bush into the shape of a Hitler stache so Vanilla Gorilla can get an extra thrill when she sits on his face. Beware: PLUGS galore ahead:
Hey everyone!
I’m sure this will be the most "uneventful" blog I have ever written - but its purpose is simply to answer a lot of the reoccurring questions I've been getting asked lately - and I’m hoping this will answer them for you :)
I think maybe the final episode of LA Ink left things a bit confusing to some. So in a nutshell here goes:
1. I am not in any way moving to Texas. I am not opening up another tattoo shop. And I am not leaving my shop here in Los Angeles, High Voltage Tattoo.
2. I am not in a relationship. (And I apologize for all the "back and forth" if it’s caused any confusion)
3. I am in no way retiring - (what does that even mean anyway???)
4. My tattoo shop is not closing, and is open for business like always! (Same goes for my art gallery, Wonderland - next door to High Voltage Tattoo.)
5. As hard as it is to sometimes let go of the things you are so accustomed to doing, I am happy to have done LA Ink, but am even more excited about new upcoming ventures - and cant wait to eventually share more about this with you all!
That’s all. I told ya it would be uneventful… ;)
This is the point in the post where I'm supposed to write an in-depth analysis of what went wrong, but I'd rather hear about your banana-shaped bowel movements.
via People
• 
i can't believe i went the entire weekend not knowing this information until now...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Now another 'lucky' dude get's to see the VG armpit stamp while he's shtupping her.
His voice doesn't match his public image. He sounds like a mentally challenged Sunday school teacher. I bet "SlingBlade" was his favorite movie.
And YES...Ms. Von Dumpty DOES look like TaterTot Willis!!
***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
She will get picked up for another reality show on some other channel. I hate to be very mean, but her face looks like a Halloween mask in this picture.
My husband used to know this whore back when she was a little nobody rockabilly chick here in L.A., before she even started tattooing. He said she was super-nice and quiet. Proof that fame and money always corrupt the soul. She's such a joke now.
I really don't get the lace-front thing. Her real hair seemed very nice back in Miami Ink and beginnings of LA stINK. Last episode with the flashbacks she looked so much better then in the face than now. First season of her show, her body was so busted (protruding belly, super flat ass) but the face & hair were good. Now her body seems pretty nice, obviously she's been working out non stop, but her face seems to be getting more grotesque and misshapen by the month. It is so strange. JJ is just slow. I have no other words for him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
she does look a lot like rumor willis. but it's as if rumor sat behind someone with explosive diarrhea whose pants were down and they were aiming thier corn wagon towards her face.
which reminds me of lohan (shit and cases of explosive diarrhea tends to remind me of her). if some poor soul was underneath her in a 69 and looked up to her manure knot, i'm sure they'd say to themselves, "god i hope those are freckles!"
that motherfucker was a motherfucker - miles davis
It seems like all these "gossip" blogs about celebrities are all about nobodies, and the thing is, it's not the blogs fault. The fact is, there are no real celebrities anymore. It's all taken over by these wetfarts. Kunt Von Pee, and for whomever the fuck this douchebag is. He literally is only famous for marrying and cheating on an ACTUAL celebrity, who would qualify to be on a celebrity site, and boom nowhere. Only the floater linked to them that refuse to flush. I'm so sick of looking at blogs and going, "Who?" The only reason I know who Kat is, is because I use to watch Miami Ink (what happen to that show?), and actually liked it. I guess that gave her a launching pad to be famous. Since when does an asshole who carves ink into people's skin, need to be celebrities? Much less have a story that needs to be "out there?" Don't we all know some asshole who knows how to tattoo? I have like 3 in my family alone that are more interesting than these period berry queef bubbles.
Sorry, I'm in a sour mood. -_-
__________________________________
Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
You slores are right: KVD DOES resemble Rumer's hotter, but FAS-stricken sister.
=============================
"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by Meth-freeq on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 12:28am.
Rumor Willis covered in tats.
__________________________________________
Didn't read your post before posting my own. Totally agree. She looks like Rumor.
I just figured out who Kat looks like--Rumer Willis. They totally have the same shaped face.
And we in no way give a shit.
-- Signed, The American Public
►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
When the bottom part (obviously I can't say half here) of your face is twice the size of its' upper part then we have a problem.
Well, now we know whenever she needs attention, she's going to drag out this dead horse & beat it like it owes her money. Jesse won't, because he has a bigger, Oscar-winning dead horse in his back pocket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Rumor Willis covered in tats
He is best. He has been worse than that, when he is worse he is little better than a beast.
JJ looks like a creepy child molester. I can understand the likes of Kat von D falling for his type, but the beautiful and talented Bullock? I guess it will remain a mystery for ever.
-----------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
Good, at least there will be no reproduction.
hey kat von d!
no one gives a fuck.
that is all.
-----------------------------------------
A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:18pm.
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. They tread water the best??
These comments are hysterical. You bitches are eeeeevil!
THIS:
"Big, bold weiner logs provide a real sense of accomplishment."
Hysteria put into words how I feel after a satisfying BM.
*******"Curtsy motherfuckers!" - Michael K. 04/30/10*******************
Tina Knowles wears more expensive looking wigs than that refugee from a Halloween half price bin parked on Kat's tattooed bonce.
*must learn to proofread*
She's wearing Great Aunt Rivka's favorite bow blouse!
Thanks, my brain really needed to be refreshed--yet she is incredibly right when she says, "That’s all. I told ya it would be uneventful… ;)"
Aww for fuck's sake does anyone care????? cause if you do, you can leave this shit right now and take it some douchbag place.
------------------------------------------------
Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:32pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:28pm.
*ploop*
_______________________
hahaaa! another one down the poop shoot.
.**********
Speaking of language police, the word is "chute" not shoot. A poop shoot sounds like you're filming a scat video with KK.
Gross yet interesting thread!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Submitted by Hotmami on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:31pm.
I believe the scientific term for that is "origami poop".
********************
LOL. Thanks for that one. I'll start using the Strunk & White Elements of Style approved term now. I've been calling them Grace Kellys because they have that deadly hairpin curve.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:28pm.
*ploop*
_______________________
hahaaa! another one down the poop shoot.
.
.
Submitted by TimC on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:23pm.
I believe the scientific term for that is "origami poop".
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
*ploop*
I take any kind of poop as long as it`s not Pellet poop. You waste 20 min of your life just to leave tiny nuggets in the bowl that look like something a rabbit cranked out.
--------------------------------------------------
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Can't be fucked reading any of this; I'm just here to say that the "Who Cares? News" tag has never been more appropriate.
What exactly causes floaters? Is it what you ate? Air in the bowels? How come they circle and circle, yet stubbornly resist the whirlpool? Why only one or a few--why are they singled out?
............
I believe the main cause of floaters is a high fat diet (with consequent high fat feces). But I'm sure it could be a number of things, including gas.
Bananas and peen shaped ones usually mean I had to go really bad. The ones I'm interested in are the ones that fold backwards. How in the world does it get folded? Is is folded inside me and then somehow maintains that shape on the way out? Or is there something special about my no-no that can fold a turd (or maybe it's not that special, but I haven't looked at other folks' turds too often). Those folded ones come out so fast, too. Maybe they hit the water so hard that causes them to fold backwards. I never thought of that explanation. Thank god and MK for this thread, because this question haunts me for about 10 minutes every fucking day of my life.
LMFAO at this thread. I find it fitting that a thread about these two ended up being about shit.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 5:39pm.
What exactly causes floaters? Is it what you ate? Air in the bowels? How come they circle and circle, yet stubbornly resist the whirlpool? Why only one or a few--why are they singled out?
____________________________
Ahahaa! One of the great existential questions.
Air pockets OR they are composed of matter that is lighter than water. Like wood? Bean hulls?
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
.
.
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 6:56pm.
hahaha. Now that I'm snacking before dinner, that doesn't look right. I'm sure Google has the answer, but I ain't about to Google it.
............
"All censure of a man's self is oblique praise. It is in order to show how much he can spare."
Yawn and shameless fame slut...she must at this point only appeal to teenagers because everyone I know over 21 seriously hates this slut more than she can even fathom...basically fuck both of them again! On a much more interesting note I remember paluagging up someone's toilet with a surprise wonder turd,I made tracks out of there so fast ...never saw them again...could not bear to face the person and that damn trick toilet!
Turds and Jesse James....they go together like bees and honey
When did Rumor Willis get a neck tattoo?
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 5:39pm.
What exactly causes floaters? Is it what you ate? Air in the bowels? How come they circle and circle, yet stubbornly resist the whirlpool? Why only one or a few--why are they singled out?
________
OMGLMAOOOO!!! The answers to these questions, especially the "resist the whirlpool?" one, will solve all humankind's existential questions surely.
_____
Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
Personally, I think weiner-shaped turds are a lot more fulfilling than the banana variety.
The banana kind imply there is more turd that got squeezed off. Hence, your turd isn't complete.
Big, bold weiner logs provide a real sense of accomplishment.
.
.
Just writing about turds is a lot more satisfying than anything Vanilla Gorilla.
.
.
This is the first photo I've seen of VJ since he broke up with Sandy where he didn't have a 'What have I done to my life' look on his face.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 6:28pm.
These two bore the fuck out of me. Who cares?
I think I stopped caring...let's see...oh that's right I never cared!
These two bore the fuck out of me. Who cares?
Skanks who deserve each each other. Both are ick nast.
BOth are freaks - end of story.
He is so creepy.
I KNEW her face reminded me of someone but I couldn't figure it out until now. IMO she looks like she could be Rumor Willis' sister. They have the same large jaw and close-set eyes!
No one cares about these people, who is she fooling about people being interested in her, that POS idiot ex and her sleazy stores.