No, This Is Not Another Picture Of Courtney Stodden
(Apologies to the gorgeous lizard flower that is Courtney Stodden for that comparison.)
Here's the gold digging, bed bug-killing, cocktail wasting, freckled dildo of delusion Lindsay Lohan completing her community service hours by volunteering at an Italian AIDS hospice today. Oh, did I type "volunteering at an Italian AIDS hospice"? I really meant to type that she's pouring free champagne down her throat hole with designer Philipp Plein at an amfAR party in Milan tonight. Same thing!
Maybe it's because I just ate an entire bottle of red wine, but besides the fact that her lips looks like two constipated bubble gum worms trying to push out a fart, she sort of looks o.k.a.y.? We're used to seeing LiLo looking like a 49-year-old flea-ridden, morning shift Mordor hooker who just got a train ran on her (an actual train, not a gang bang), so this is an improvement! Yes, I'm still going to spray my eye balls with RID, but I'll do two squirts instead of ten. Now I'm going to do the impossible by typing the following words: Lindsay Lohan actually looks good.
And yesh, I just admitted that I'm drinking red wine. Can you believe this shit? I'm trading margaritas for red wine, because Dr. Oz said it's good for the heart. I'm of the olds. Just brand me with the word EXPIRED and roll me into Boca city limits.
• 
why does she think that fake, dried out, stringy, damaged hair looks good?
She is trying waaayyyyy to hard to pose like Marilyn. Bitch, go back to red hair.
Submitted by dcgirl on Sun, 09/25/2011 - 8:25am.
I don't get why everyone is saying she looks so great here. Maybe if she were 40. Even if she were thirty-something, you could even say she looks fairly good. But for a 25-year-old she looks damn busted.
~~~~~
Couldn't agree more. I can't believe she's only 25.
I don't get why everyone is saying she looks so great here. Maybe if she were 40. Even if she were thirty-something, you could even say she looks fairly good. But for a 25-year-old she looks damn busted.
Her skin is so saggy. I just find it so tragic whenever I see pictures of her. She used to be truly beautiful - gorgeous red hair, perfect skin. In a matter of a few years she has been reduced to this. She really fucked her life up and I do not really think it is funny at all.
Hohan looks good in the above photo, but I bet that lens was slathered in Vaseline.
**************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 10:27pm.
Submitted by Jana on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 9:25pm.
________________
alright. i have something to say. been a raging lunatic on this blog for years and have also had a lot of serious things to say. but even when ive been serious, i still have a middle finger behind my back. but now for the first time and probably the last, i will be totally dead serious. jana, dont drink anymore. you are a young girl and you are way too young to throw your life away to that. dont do what i did. im an old man. im spent. you are young and have your whole life. you have only been drinking 3-4 years? put it down now and walk away now and go on and be successful. dont do to yourself what i did. you have a lot of time ahead of you to reverse any little transgressions (dui) and mistakes. dont let 20 or 30 years slip through your fingers and then wake up. and i know you are an alkie because ive read your posts in the past. nail it NOW. and i am serious. €€
not that anyone cares, but I heartily agree!
Submitted by justincase on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 3:54pm.
MK writes well because he does know proper English
You're kidding, right? He can't spell, conjugate, or form tenses. He repeatedly admits it. But he still writes well--better than well.
Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 2:01am.
Woprah probably banged someone much more attractive during her frantic attempt to be a celeb herself.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Even hard partyers like Blohan have a good night now and then. Can't wait for the attack of the killer cactus and paps making her fall again.
Is Blohan actually wearing underwear? Is that a pair of panties peeking through in thumbnail #7?
Come at me bitch!
Did that hotelier slut give blohole infant stem cell laced coke the other night?? It's like she miraculously removed 10 years. Where are the after-party pics?? You know her midnight-hour came and the pumpkin coach changed back to reveal her old busted self.
_____
Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 10:15pm.
I can't recall him using "throat." He usually goes for the funny urban or child-like spelling or pronunciation of things. He's proof that you don't have to know proper English to write really well.
*************
MK writes well because he does know proper English and is bilingual (urban/proper). He must have been paying attention in school but likes to keep it on the down-low.
Just like Courtney Love & Pamela Anderson can cleanup well.
Maybe Dinas saliva is like the elixir of youth. She should tongue her mother more often.
**************************************************
Submitted by gladyslove on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 11:19pm.
You name should be El Retardo.
Isn't it amazing what a good makeup artist can do?
_______________________________________________
"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
I agree, Holly-o !
Look at Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried who were in Mean Girls with her. They've gone on to respectable movie careers - Lohan has not grown up from that age at all.
She got blinded by the fame and thought she had forever to play with it. I think she's a terrible actress - totally one-note which was fine in teen movies but not for an adult.
And here she looks good for Lindsay, which is still below good for a real human.
She looks like she showered. It's a start. Baby steps.
WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
Question: I've heard people say that Lilo really needs to get her shit together because she is so talented, a good actress with a lot to offer. Really??? Who here really thinks this trash ball infested crotch is talented??? The only movie she was half tolerable was mean girls, and I believe that is because of good writing and an outstanding supporting cast. Any semi decent actress could've done that role. It pisses me off when people say she's sooo talented thus needing to sober up. She's not! She was the tween flavor of the month, a shitty actress and terrible singer. She's an addict, she's not ready to accept that, so until she does...we get fabulous posts about her shoving crack in every hole possible from our beloved michael k. Random...sorry and negative yes. But just something that irks me everytime I hear about this spoiled brat! Thoughts???
Still could use some meat on her bones, but she has surprisingly fresh skin and well-conditioned hair. And she looks sober and dare I say it, pretty? Good for her.
------------------------------------------------
"PLEASE...*gasping for air*....ADMINISTER HATE, STAT..." - Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 09/18/2011 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 11:10am.
Submitted by undinespragg on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 10:50am.
She still has trout mouth. What is wrong with people? Why do they feel compelled to inject things into their lips? Huge lips are not always attractive! That trend is so bizarre to me.
=========
I wonder if Angelina Jolie's lips started that inflated trout-mouth craziness?
===============
But the thing is if you have thin lips to begin with, if you inflate them with shit then they will just stick out and look swollen, there isn't room for the inflation because the height and width of the lips aren't big to begin with. Angelina Jolie was born with huge lips so that's fine for her, but you can't recreate that look artificially. It just comes out looking like blohan here, like two big air-filled worms attached to your mouth
Raul kinda likes the over the shoulder look.... as I skeet skeet skeet on her back.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Submitted by undinespragg on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 10:50am.
She still has trout mouth. What is wrong with people? Why do they feel compelled to inject things into their lips? Huge lips are not always attractive! That trend is so bizarre to me.
=========
I wonder if Angelina Jolie's lips started that inflated trout-mouth craziness?
EVIL SHOE WHERE YOU BEEN? Haven't seen you in forever!
vidz: I'm choking with laughter! The "falling on her face" slays me! Brill.
JANA!!!! Girl! *Hugs*
___________________________
Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
She still has trout mouth. What is wrong with people? Why do they feel compelled to inject things into their lips? Huge lips are not always attractive! That trend is so bizarre to me.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 8:38am.
Submitted by lastdiva on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:41am.
These shots are from the beginning of the event. Let's see some pics from the end of the event where her hair is askew, lipstick is smeared out to her jawline, a false eyelash strip has migrated to her cheek and her dress is on sideways with one floppy freckled tit hanging out.
hahaha. Zackly. Also, when you're freckled like an orange-granite countertop, a backless dress is not your friend.
LOL! "Lohan at 5AM" should be a photoshoot title in itself!
skidmarx
Most young starlets are not gay. She probably feels a lot of pressure to date men. I was surprised that she was so open about her girlfriend. It made her seem crazy. Not because she is gay but because it was obviously killing her career not being perceived as a normal young woman. That's why I think it messes with her head.
As her natural hair colour and pale freckly complexion combo is pretty much unique amongst the rest of hollywood it would be her unique selling point. It's pretty much all she's got at this point. Julia roberts and C. hendrick's are not even natural redheads. She should cover up in the sun to avoid turning into one giant age spot.
But then this is Lohan and she's as dumb as they come. I think she fancies her self a new career as some kind of fashionista who designers will fall over backwards to give her clothes for free. Well she'd be Wrong about that.
Lohan will never work again and she should write that on the chalk board she carries around her neck so that she doesn't forget it.
For once, she appears to have showered.
***
Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
2 things:
1st: Can we arrange for Italy to keep this vacuous tart? Maybe something can be set-up ala Amanda Knox where the Italian authorities jail Blohan for drug possession, drunk and disorderly conduct, or for being a straight-up untalented whore. Let her stew for a few years in an overseas hell hole and maybe, just maybe she would straighten up or disappear altogether.
2nd: Wasn't her younger sister Ali the one who recently signed a modeling contract with a big-time agency? Damn Lindsay, do you have to steal the limelight and potential success from your own family? Celebuzz is reporting that Hohan (Lindsay) has landed a modeling gig with Philipp Plein: http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-09-24/lindsay-lohan-lands-modeling-gig-for-...
Sorry Ali, guess you'll never measure up to your talentless, famewhore, drug and alcohol addict of an older sister.
C.E.
Submitted by lastdiva on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 7:41am.
These shots are from the beginning of the event. Let's see some pics from the end of the event where her hair is askew, lipstick is smeared out to her jawline, a false eyelash strip has migrated to her cheek and her dress is on sideways with one floppy freckled tit hanging out.
hahaha. Zackly. Also, when you're freckled like an orange-granite countertop, a backless dress is not your friend.
............
"You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company."
Did Trixie Lohan have to blow the makeup guy for those really cool eyeliner tails? Beauty comes at a price for Trixie, and it's pay, pay, pay where she is concerned.
Too bad about the dress: pretty in the front, a mess in the back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
I see 70's porn queen in pics 4 & 5. It's too bad this person is so corroded on the inside. She'd be quite decent looking otherwise...
Lindsay's pimp obviously put top dollar into her debut on the international high-end escort stroll. The chick is following in Tara Reid's footsteps down the path of whoring for blow and invites until she's no longer wanted.
**************************************************
Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
These shots are from the beginning of the event. Let's see some pics from the end of the event where her hair is askew, lipstick is smeared out to her jawline, a false eyelash strip has migrated to her cheek and her dress is on sideways with one floppy freckled tit hanging out.
=============================
"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Why does she keep trying to make the platinum blonde work? It only works on Gwen Stefani and barely. When she did "Mean Girls" she was actually really pretty as a red head and I think that's the last time she ever looked decent.
I think she always looked good - even if as a hot mess. The only mistakes she made is the plastic surgery: the hamster cheeks and the lips.
@miz ro
Let's see: a professional make-up job with false eyelashes and perfect eyeliner - check.
Dont think it's professional. If it were, her brows and lips would have been drawn to perfection.
I too covet her nose. But her nostril profile has changed significantly from years of abuse/ falling on her face.
*****************************************************
"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
She does look good in the header shot (if you can resist the urge to wipe the lipstick goop from the corners of her mouth on your screen). But the rest, no. Haggard and hard looking and busted usual. I've concluded she can only look good if she doesn't make an expression, which should be pretty easy to do in about 6 months when it's no longer an option.
Let's see: a professional make-up job with false eyelashes and perfect eyeliner - check.
Restylaned lips and forehead - check.
Good bone structure and skin - check.
Gotta admit she looks good in the large pic - she's still a waste of time though.
But I do covet her nose. *ashamed*
"Here's the gold digging, bed bug-killing, cocktail wasting, freckled dildo of delusion Lindsay Lohan"
AHHHHH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAAHHAAHHA
ROTFLMOAAPIMP!!!
MK that is the funniest line you have ever delivered
================================================
"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
================================================
Submitted by Chris Knight on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 4:59am.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/09/24/january-jones-birth-certificate-baby-daddy...
"""""""""""""""""""""""
I bet she doesn't know who he is. MK will be all over this. :)
http://www.tmz.com/2011/09/24/january-jones-birth-certificate-baby-daddy...
Submitted by Miss Thang on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 3:15am.
Why do people care so much about what this dumb twat does? She's grown, she can drink if she wants to. I really don't see the problem here.
**************************************************
Umm, DURRRRRRRRRRR.
I'm grown too, I can drink and be a total fucking bitch on a blog about a redheaded cunt who is in the public eye, knows it but continues to be a total retard in public but still expect everyone to love her...if you think we care, wrong. If you think we think she's a total fuckface who will be called on it, DUR DUR DUR DUR DUR..I mean DING DING DING DING DING!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Why do people care so much about what this dumb twat does? She's grown, she can drink if she wants to. I really don't see the problem here.
************
I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Okay, putting aside the sun damage, orange spray tan, white rat blonde hair and the million various drug/psychological flaws..... The original goods she was born with/brought to the table are quite stunning. Beautiful bone structure, perfect nose.... I still don't understand how two ugly, creepy Long Island low lives can produce a daughter that looks like Lindsay. She doesn't really look like either one of her parents (cept she and her mom share the same bottle of bleach). The rest of the Lohan kids do, unfortunately, look like their parents. I dunno...it puzzles me. The world of genetics is a funny, fickle thing.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy