Lindsay Lohan Adds "Gold Digging Wife Attacker" To Her Illustrious Resume
The other day, The Superficial posted a gallery of pictures of Lindsay Lohan looking like the pristine dandelion she is while doing not-at-all shady crack ho shit with hotelier Vikram Chatwal in front of his apartment window. It's the kind of mess you'd see if you pointed your telescope at the Crackieopeia constellation up in the night sky. Blohan's spokeswhore said that she's just friendly with Vikram and nothing romantic is going on. He's right. The last time I did a line off the top of a multimillionaire's dick while licking his peen's undercarriage just so he can get me into a fashion party, "romantic" is not the word that shot onto my tongue.
Howfuckingever, Page Six says that LiLo was acting like she's more than just friends with Vikram when she came at his estranged wife Priya Sachdev at his NYC hotel on Wednesday night. Oh, to be a fat scabie on LiLo's scalp sludge when she got in Priya's face. A witness tells Page Six all about how LiLo went into a rage like a homeless junkie protecting her spot in the ATM vestibule:
“Lindsay had been staying at Vikram’s house and even installed her hairdresser in the baby’s room, but was told to leave before his wife arrived from India with the child a few days ago. His father, Sant Singh, has tried to order Lindsay out numerous times.Lindsay found out Vikram was hosting a dinner at the Dream, and turned up with a friend at the hotel’s Electric Room, waiting for him. That’s when the trouble started. Priya was very dignified, but Lindsay was so rude. She acted as if she’d had no idea Vikram was married, and tried to make it clear that Vikram was her friend. Others had to step in to calm things down.
Vikram’s family worry that Lindsay is bad news and want him to stay away from her.”
In the wise words of Pastoress Khia: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!! The shifty vodka landslide of coked up stupidity is FINALLY speaking my language.
LiLo couldn't get hired as an off-camera fluffer in a bare bones budget porn parody of her life, so I've been saying all along that it's time for her to trade in her coke shovel for a gold digging shovel. LiLo is allergic to working and has several nostrils to feed at home, so switching careers from "piece of party-ruining trash" to premiere gold digger is just a good move. Yes, Vikram will never divorce the mother of his child to marry a trick who looks like Gollum meets the Slumdog Millionaire outhouse bath scene, but you can't blame a ho for trying! I'm rooting for her!
And I love that LiLo put her "hairdresser" in the baby's room. "Why does this strange rattle look like a plastic bag full of opiates?" is a line the nanny definitely said sometime this week.
• 
Vintage BLOWhan. Doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone or anything other than herself. One of these days, she's going to arrogantly try to brace someone who's not intimidated or indifferent, and that person is going to literally beat the shit out of her. I am SO looking forward to seeing those pics on dlisted...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Holy hooker-ama! When will the good times end?
Submitted by original putas on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 8:50am.
India is a cesspool? Ever been lately, ever heard of cities like Mumbai, Calcutta, Amritsar-where the economy is growing faster than this country can even dream of, thanks to the "elitist" thing known as getting an education. Step into your local hospital, and then tell me if everyone is elitist or just educated and actually helping you.
And why do men always fuck down? I mean, all "courtesans" do nasty shit, and there are pretty ones. Will never get it-wife is a model, but most likely the match seemed better to her than to him, the daddy's boy.
But a lot of these arranged thingies work out well-and what Americans often think of as arranged is actually the parents having several potential suitors until you meet one you like. I've had them since I was born, and when I was 24 or so we got calls from my mom's friend in India. I've turned all those rich, handsome men down. Because I'm westernized, which I will change to because I'm stupid when I'm 50.
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"PLEASE...*gasping for air*....ADMINISTER HATE, STAT..." - Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 09/18/2011 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 12:19pm.
Agree, except when SOMEONE GIVES HER A PAYING JOB, thereby prolonging her career.
Affleck needs to be on my new show, Don't Tase Me, I'm a Star! (ABC, 8:30 p.m. Wednesdays).
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"You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company."
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 9:54am.
She is my main source of laughter. Well, her and the cast of America's Got Duck, Duck, Goose!
Idea: Put B. Affleck on AGDDG! and watch those ratings skyrocket.
*calls network, demanding to speak to whoever*
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 9:46am.
Good morning, Luscious Magpies. Lindsay never stops giving, does she?
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"You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company."
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 09/24/2011 - 9:07am.
"Move that estranged wife! I'm Lindsay Lohan."
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
"Move that estranged wife! I'm Lindsay Lohan."
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"You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company."
Submitted by Super Stew: "I hope these rich guys are smart enough to wear protection. Not only from STDs but she doesn't really have any more tricks in her bag so may resort to getting pregnant from one of her many 'boyfriends' so she has 18 years of baby mama drama (which you know she would thrive on) and child support."
Excellent point. Why hasn't she done this already? Perhaps her fallopian toobz are scarred shut from STD's already.
*gasp*
Not really - I have nothing but negative expectations of LL anyway.
And who the hell is this vain, strange Vikram dude? *shrug*
hold on, hairdresser?? did you see the pictures of her at vikrams?! why do you need to set up a hairdresser in his apartment when you're WEARING A WEAVE?! get detective latoya on this case immediately
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
sounds like that irish traveller pikey gyppo is working the high end hooker circuit. Only problem is as most gyppos do, she is moving in after the 'date' is over, Uhauling her crap and freeloading 'hairdresser'/connection. He probably did not know pretty women hookers do this shit until you pay them to leave or pay your friend of a friend who knows someone to take her out on a drive somewhere.
Bad move pissing off the paternal head of a traditionalist Indian family, Lins; you'll get your lines of credit and coke cut off for that.
She has never been big with the smarts.
go lindsay!!! Team Hohan.
Just when you think you cant loved lindsay anymore, she pulls a stunt like this to remind you of how much you love her!!
ahhhhh lindsay i love you, you hot train wreck mess.
I hope the money she got was worth it.
Indian men are most generous and fun to date and they are
easy to whip in the US if you are blonde
and educated!
celeb escort!
He must be paying her for her services.
The only unbelievable part of all this mess is when Blohan brings her "hairdresser" in, I mean, really?!! She has a hairdresser with her at all times and yet her hair looks like THAT? Unless "hairdresser" is how we are calling dealers nowadays.
I am too lazy to read the post but the picture and headline pretty much say it all.
I feel like Tom Hanks should be making a wish to this guy.
@snowy - i love the photo you chose :-)
@rusty
I concur 100%
@snowy
is that you?
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
Submitted by vidz on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:57pm.
FYI: anglo indian babies are the cutest
I've been reading the comments on this thread. My utterly unscientific impression is every race or nationality has about the same % of handsome and ugly folks. The exception is places like Brazil with a lot of genetic mixing.
Plus, the notion of beauty is fully subjective, as the comments on this site prove daily. If you like, say, the Nordic look, then you'll think Swedes are hotter.
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"You teach your daughters the diameters of the planets and wonder when you are done that they do not delight in your company."
"The Strike" is the 166th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the tenth episode of the 9th and final season. It aired on December 18, 1997. This episode featured and popularized the holiday of Festivus. This episode also popularized the concept of a "two-face": someone who looks attractive sometimes and looks bad at other times, depending on exterior conditions, such as lighting.
That's what I think of Priya Sachdev
TexnDoc -- "copper scour-pad" -- LMFAO!!!
I just had Indian food the other day. Did not like at all, and I typically like spicy food.
vidz: he's from Pakistan, we won't tell him you said that, LOLOLOLOL;p
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
snowy
almost forgot your piece was curried
FYI: anglo indian babies are the cutest
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
vidz: Mowgli can do the best imitation, have me ROTFLMAO! ;p
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by Super Stew on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:46am.
I hope these rich guys are smart enough to wear protection. Not only from STDs but she doesn't really have any more tricks in her bag so may resort to getting pregnant from one of her many 'boyfriends' so she has 18 years of baby mama drama (which you know she would thrive on) and child support.
^^^^^
Ohhhhh, excellent point!!! Wow! I wonder why WO hasn't thought of that yet?
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
LOL Work is keeping me from you all, I NEED TO WIN THE LOTTO!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
@ charlie loves tiger
Yes, those marriages often work out. I know a couple in Austin whose marriage was arranged and they are exactly like any other suburban couple with kids.
Why does Blohan need her HAIRDRESSER to live with her when she is on a ho stroll?????
Good Lord! I'm just waiting for the day when she pulls a Winehouse and drops dead..... I'd have loved to see this guys wife just haul off and beat the hopping snot out of this worthless little cunt but alas she's too smart knowing that Blohan would probably sue her.
Emma Grace Frost
I guess the next step for her is Kim Zolciak's former sugar daddy 'Big Poppa', if she lives beyond 2011. If she plays her cards right she ll get free cars and shit.
Nigella and Jamie ain't got shit on Titli !
http://titlisbusykitchen.com/
I googled Priya Sachdev's pictures, and I think she's one of those women who is stunning from some angles and merely attractive from others. Leagues ahead of Blohan. But then if Priya threw up on herself and wore a potato sack, she would still be leagues ahead of Lindsay.
Her baby is crazy cute too.
But it sounds like Lindsay is sabotaging any future um "work opportunities" she might have. If you're an expensive whore, you don't stomp up to the john's wife and make a big fuss. That's a great way to warn everyone, "Don't get involved with this dirty has-been, she'll wreck your life."
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Still an entitled whore I see.
Submitted by Mama Bear on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:34am.
I had a friend in grad school who was in an arranged marriage with a man she had never met before the wedding. Her parents were both doctors from India and they went through sort of a marriage broker. Her parents had some money, so she had a little more freedom in her choices than some girls. The broker scored them on a checklist and she lost some points because she had a small birth defect. He would come to America on the condition that he finish his education. EVERYTHING was negotiated.
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those marriages, a lot of time, work out really well because they pair couples who have the same interests and goals, and get along with each other and want to be friends. it isnt all that different from successful, long term marriages in the west because infatuation and strong attraction almost always dies out, and then you are left with a trust, friendship, devotion and partnership. the same thing they start with. they just go about it a different way. it does still seem kind of weird, though, to arrange a marriage.
I hope these rich guys are smart enough to wear protection. Not only from STDs but she doesn't really have any more tricks in her bag so may resort to getting pregnant from one of her many 'boyfriends' so she has 18 years of baby mama drama (which you know she would thrive on) and child support.
Maybe she thinks banging married men counts as "community servicing"?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
vidz really? :) cool beans & what charlie said.
edit.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
@guest
im indian. And I can tell you. ze indian accent is not sexy.
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
I had a friend in grad school who was in an arranged marriage with a man she had never met before the wedding. Her parents were both doctors from India and they went through sort of a marriage broker. Her parents had some money, so she had a little more freedom in her choices than some girls. The broker scored them on a checklist and she lost some points because she had a small birth defect. He would come to America on the condition that he finish his education. EVERYTHING was negotiated.
And Lilo is a whore no matter who she is with.
i ate indian food for the first time the other day and stunk for 2 days. my wife was like, your breath and body and everything smells horrible. with that said, ive always thought indian people are absolutely gorgeous. especially the women. if you get a really good looking indian woman, there isnt anyone who can top that beauty.
vidz...with indian speak?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:11am.
Mowgli?????
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BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHA!!!
FINALLY!
the bigger question is not why she's acting like the last resort call to fill in on the midnight shift at a Nevada whore house - because, duh, that's her nature - but rather what millionaire in his right mind would want to put his mouth on it. yuck.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 11:11am.
Mowgli?????
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Mowgli?????
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
guest
I beg to differ
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
I think this is made up. Im not sure if Page-6 has been pristinely reliable. Installing her hairdresser? It makes me think of those perm cover things you see at the salon.
It said in his wife's wikipedia page, that he had told some Indian newspaper that they were separated in early September. To be fair, that is also a really bad picture of Priya. Here's a better one: http://costliest.net/costliest-wedding/
Scroll down to #4 of costliest weddings.
Whatever Vikram's marital status is there were pictures of him and Lindsay kissing, her looking ashamed, and a view of a pipe.
And goddamn it my sweet little cousin's name is Vikram. Can't get this association out of my head now! Blech!