When you get up in the morning, tape two Top Ramen wrappers over your nipples, put your hand over your chest and repeat this NSFW self-loving speech into the mirror to get you through the day. These words of motivation work for every situation. Make sure you have some kind of bird creature nearby so it can let out a CAW when you pull its tail after every beat. Pledge allegiance, bitch!
And Stuart Smalley can officially retire now that Khia is here to lift us up.
via Kid Fury