Lindsay Lohan Can't Be Bothered With Community Service
Well, that's one way to get bed bugs off of a mattress via mass bed bug suicide. Throw a Lohan on it!
According to Radar, Lindsay Lohan has to show her drunk melted face in an L.A. court room on October 17th for a progress hearing on how much of a dent she's put in the 480 community service hours Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered her to complete for pleading no contest in that jooree snatching case. If Blohan's community service sentence was a crack rock (street name: sea jasper), she would've only smoked a sliver of it. A source says that LiLo has done 60 of 380 community service hours at the Downtown Women's Center and has completed zero of 100 community service hours at the L.A. County Morgue.
Some hos might see this as another symbol of how this LiLo keeps ass fucking the blindfold right off of Lady Justice, but the Lohans see this as the glass being half full of whiskey. ("It isn't half full anymore. I dranks it." - White Oprah).
LiLo's lawyer and her other advisers are telling her that she needs to complete more hours of community service before the hearing. Naturally, LiLo responsibly responded to their pleas by buying a ticket to Italy for Milan Fashion Week! As Florence sends Milan the tanker truck full of antibiotics they sprayed their streets with after Jersey Shore terrorized their city, the source said this to Radar about LiLo's community service situation:
"Lindsay has completed about 60 hours at the Downtown Women's Center. Lindsay hasn't done any time at the morgue. Lindsay has completed her shoplifters awareness class but is falling behind on her other commitments.Lindsay's team is telling her she needs to log significant time to show the judge that she is working towards completing her hours, but she is ignoring them. Lindsay's rationale is that she has a year to complete the service, so she isn't concerned about it right now. The judge has told Lindsay in the past that she will not accept any excuses whatsoever for her failure to complete her community service, period. If Lindsay was smart, she would work to get those hours done."
Saying "If Lindsay was smart" is just like saying "If my asshole had a clit." Community service is just another orange parking cone to LiLo.
When bitch's progress hearing day comes, she'll argue that she did complete all of her community service hours, thankyouverymuch. While in New York, LiLo counseled elderly coke hyenas (see: LiLo face humping White Oprah) and single-crotchedly rid Manhattan of the bed bug epidemic (see: picture above). And LiLo proved she's serious about her sobriety by throwing a cocktail at a trick instead of drinking it. How can Judge Stephanie deny those selfless acts?
Besides, what is the judge really going to do if LiLo doesn't complete her community service? Throw her in jail? The world would throw itself into the sun to stop all the laughter if that happened.
Here's the delicate flower working it like a toothless Hookers at the Point pussy peddler (never forget School Teacher) during a photo shoot with Uncle Terry.
In her defense, she'll complete her morgue time around her 27th year of life I'm sure
She's done twice that community service time hooking for Arab sheiks. She's doing her part for peace in the Middle East, give the kid a break.
Technically speaking she is doing the community a service by not being bothered, seeing as nothing can be gained from her presence.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by zachhcaz on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 2:03pm.
Quick, Nana Lohan, double-check that your Tempurpedic is still in your assisted-living condo. I think Lindsay is fencing it in Williamsburg for sea jasper money.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's a metaphor: Her career has gone the way of the pay phone.
"shoplifters awareness class"
WTF is that supposed to be? How to avoid the cameras and security personnel?
I want this bitch to rot in jail so bad. Hate her self entitled arrogance.
WTF is a "shoplifter's awarenness program"? Is that where they teach you how to be a better shoplifter so you don't get caught?
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Shiitake happens...
Would have been funnier if it were a carpet mattress.
No accountability, as usual. She'll never get punished. She could eat a baby on live television and then throw a basket of kittens off a building and the most she'd get is a slap on the wrist.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
I'm sorry, I'm not getting the fking point/message of the mattress on a NYC shit street propped against phone booths. The theme of this shoot was street trash?? If so, this busted bitch fits with this contract. And how she can get away with not doing community service is beyond me.
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Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
Even for Terry Richardson this shit is a step down...and that says a lot.
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"Bitch, you've had too much Paltrow in your life." - MK
lets hope I get my late birthday wish...and early Christmas and this useless skank from hell FINALLY does jail time NO BAIL....Lord, please please I have been VERY VERY good this year! Just this one little thing!
Submitted by oceanlover998 :...A mattress, a payphone, and a Lohan...
...I just...can't...
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Appropriately enough, there are piles of TRASH containing her used condoms ...when her clients insist, next to the mattress .
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Linguine legs.
"I'm Gumby damn it!". L.L. 2011
»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !
This stinky little cooter needs to spend more time doing her community service rather than taking pictures of her rank stank self. I'm sick of seeing her cracked out face.
They need to get a film crew to follow that crazy bitch around while she works in a morgue. Hilarity would ensue.
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HoHan won't go near the morgue because those dead bitches look fresher than she does.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Her real problem is she thinks she is above the law and better then most people. The amount of drugs she has done has fried her teeny tiny little brain.
Quick, Nana Lohan, double-check that your Tempurpedic is still in your assisted-living condo. I think Lindsay is fencing it in Williamsburg for sea jasper money.
Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 11:56am.
Saw this after mine! wow!
Shoplifters awareness class goes a little something like this: "stealing shit is wrong, you need to pay for your shit" "yeah, I guess so" "Ok, class dismissed".
This bitch. Get those fingers out of your mouth; it's NOT SEXY, ya piece of trash.
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
I feel dirty just seeing her in a picture.
Submitted by the original be... on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 11:56am.
Hello, I'm your "Shoplifter's Alternative Class" instructor for the day. PAY FOR YOUR SHIT. Class dismissed.
*raises hand*
but professor, I can't afford COO-toor unless I go on the stroll. :(
You just know Dina's got her lips pressed to the photographer's ear, breasts pressed to his back and her hand tantalizingly close to his crotch while making suggestions. How else is Lindsay getting these photoshoots?
Gotta love 'em, team Lindsay all the way. What can I say? I got a soft spot for strippers and hookers.
Hello, I'm your "Shoplifter's Alternative Class" instructor for the day. PAY FOR YOUR SHIT. Class dismissed.
LOL @ shoplifters' awareness class. That sounds like those comedian-led driver's ed classes you can take for your first moving offense of the year.
I've always had my own shoplifters' awareness tenet, but it fits on a business card: If you haven't paid for the item, don't leave the store with it.
Dog - I image searched "Lindsay Lohan, balcony pictures"
arrrgh take a shower you coke head! what kind of photos are these? looks like FB photos where people fucking tag you in. not cool
Caca!
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M.E., yeah duh. I got the Google part, silly! It's the keywords I never seem to get right.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
m.e. *SHUDDERS* wtf is nana?? she's the only sane one in that family.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 11:16am.
looks like she swiped the booties from that shoot
http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohans-doing-anything-but-her-comm...
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No, there were a gift!
They're probably Payless so the wardrobe people aren't too concerned. She's such a fashion victim. I'm surprised she didn't where those Chanel ear muffs to match the belt.
Submitted by guest on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 11:26am.
she was prolly too wasted to realize it was dinahh & not just some random to make out with.
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I honestly think they peddle their pussy's as a tag team. A little kiss is nothing compared to the shit they do in the bedroom with their Johns.
she was prolly too wasted to realize it was dinahh & not just some random to make out with.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Dog - Google.
How does this bitch keep getting photo shoots? Are low budget magazines that desperate for pictorials?
"Excesivo Amor"... no shit, pedro.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 10:56am.
here's her Italian balcony postcoital pics:
^^^^^
Woman, how do you know where to find these old-ass links? I can't even find shit from last week if I need to! Dayum!
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
making out at the bar with your friends for attention = annoying
making out at the bar with your FUCKING MOTHER FOR ATTENTION!?!?!? =FUCKING GROSSS!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
that's old news Snowy. but yeah very vomitrocious.
looks like she swiped the booties from that shoot
http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohans-doing-anything-but-her-comm...
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No, there were a gift!
SO tired of that goofy, affected (infected) finger pose.
*projectile barfs in Snowys general direction*
WHY?! It's so close to lunch...Can you imaging the ciggie and coke bref on those two?
*vomits again*
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
snowy - that picture is so many shades of wrong, I can't bring myself to even look at it again.
that's old news Snowy. but yeah very vomitrocious.
looks like she swiped the booties from that shoot
http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohans-doing-anything-but-her-comm...
Submitted by whippersnapper on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 10:44am.
Submitted by tasty dish on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 10:34am.
so, who did she have to blow to get this modeling job?
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Uncle Terry.
You don't know who Terry Richardson is do you?
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whipp, can't say i do. my guess is some "edgy" photog but nah, i can't bother looking it up.
i think she's waiting until the magic age of 27 to kick it so she can be forever immortal like her idol, MM. i don't think she'll make it though. can't see her making it to December at this rate.
Oh MY look at this pic, all kinds of NO!
http://www.vocero.com/escenario-es/foto-excesivo-amor-entre-lindsay-loha...
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
just pathetic.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.