QOTD: Daphne Guinness Will Eat When She’s Dead

September 21, 2011 / Posted by:

Beer heiress and Madge’s arm twin Daphne Guinness says that contrary to popular belief, not all fashionista socialites keep their bodies as light the air under a hanger by barfing up bile into a solid gold toilet and cutting their coke with Airborne (a bitch has to have her vitamins). Using a fork is for the bougies and digesting solids is for the fatties. The Daily Mail says that during an interview with The New Yorker, Miss Daphne closed her lips to a plate of pasta and then let us know that her farts smells like a convalescent home and the kitchen sink for a frat house.

A new interview has revealed how she announced: ‘I’ll eat when I’m dead,’ when offered lunch during a photo shoot.

Revealing that the 43-year-old had been existing on Red Bull and Ensure nutrition shakes for most of the day, the New Yorker told how she refused her assistant’s offer of a plate of pasta.

She explained: ‘If I eat, I can’t work.’

Daphne can’t see her reflection in a mirror (everything makes sense now, I know), so technically she’s a vampire, which means she doesn’t eat anyway. But even if she did, I wouldn’t take eatin’ advice from her. You can’t trust a ho who looks like a faded red ant sucking on Sour Patch Kids salt. And you really can’t trust a ho who doesn’t eat carbs and won’t even drink her last name. She won’t even drink her last name! The. Fuck.


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