Merv Griffin's Grave Will Be Rolling Today
Toddlers & Tiaras is about to be replaced as the #1 TV show in the pedophile ward of state prisons, because everybody's favorite creepy gay husband made of discarded plugs and his air quotes teenage bride have made everybody at The Soup squee themselves inside/out by signing a deal for their own reality. Radar reports that Courtney Stodden stuck out her lizard tongue, dipped it in an ink jar and slithered out her signature on a contract with Merv Griffin Entertainment. Wait. I should rewrite that last sentence in the kind of Twitter whore baby talk that speaks to Courtney:
Radar seductively reports that the sensuous creature Courtney Stodden provocatively grabbed her sexy husband's long hard pen and deliciously dipped it into her wet ink jar and salaciously saturated the voluptuous contract with her pleasurable signature of lustful desire. I LOVE JESUS!
Courtney's pimp of a mother Krista Stodden says that they went with Merv Griffin Entertainment, because they believe that is the company who will put them in front of all of the best networks even though we know the only network that is going to buy this skankified creep show is PBS (PedoBear Broadcasting Service) or.....TLC (same thing basically).
Doug and the garden gecko who had a lobotomy with a Real Doll also said that nothing is off limits and they will show every uncomfortable part of their lives like this:
Shouldn't they be washing her instead of the car. You know, a video that can double as soft-core pedo porn and soft-core gerontophile porn should not exist.
I just watched some crazy bitch pour bleach into another crazy bitch's contact lens case on The Bad Girls Club, and now I wish she would come to my apartment and do the same thing to me. Because Courtney and Doug's reality show is going to make all of us long for wholesome entertainment like 2 Girls, 1 Cup.
Either Courtney and Doug's show is what you see when you stare into the eyes of a locust in the Apocalypse swarm, or this is just an elaborate marketing campaign for clear bra straps.
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M.E.'s picture
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:52am.
Aren't birth certificates public record?
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Apparently, they have a birth certificate proving she's 17. I have my theories on that. 1. There may be a 17-year-old Courtney Stodden, but this trick is not her. 2. Birth certificates look like they'd be really easy to fake. My father's full name isn't even on mine - they used his nickname as his first name and left off the "Jr." at the end.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:52am.
Submitted by chewba on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:47am.
"Your fuel injector really turns me on". subtle.
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Didn't you know? All good Christian virgins say shit like that while they are stroking a car.
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HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!!
As my husband would say, "she puts the ASS in klass."
Between her singing and chaz' dancing, and the brit brit criminal video, this looks to be a year for really good entertainment...
And clearly her MK Ultra beta sex kitten program has a glitch.
That one was for my tinfoil hat crew. Her existence will make a believer outta you!
ita sugar. he def does.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Aren't birth certificates public record?
Hate me if you will (and you will) but she doesn't sound a hell of a lot worse than Lita Ford or any of those 80s singers to me. I mean, I know about autotune and all that but she kind of sounds like she can sing.
*shuffling off in embarrassment*
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by chewba on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:47am.
"Your fuel injector really turns me on". subtle.
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Didn't you know? All good Christian virgins say shit like that while they are stroking a car.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I know I've said this before, but he has Corey Haim face. I think that this witch has something to do w/it!
"Your fuel injector really turns me on". subtle.
TD no, some car terms was all I got
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
He honestly looks younger than her. That is one busted face.
If they release a sex tape, is it illegal?
what kinda drugs does she doooo?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Did anybody else understand more than two or three words of what she was singing?
TRUE STORY: In the late eighties and early nineties for some reason it was extremely funny to my friends (both men and women) and me to answer the phone - and this was before cell phones so you actually had the pleasure of lifting the receiver out of the cradle and holding it up to your ear/mouth in a professional businesslike manner - and instead of saying "Hello" simply saying "Merv Griffin."
It really sounds stupid now (especially as I write this) but back in the day it took everything I had to keep myself from giggling when I answered like that and I was pleased beyond all measure when someone answered my call like that. Go figure.
I wish that she would just die already! She always looks like she's having a seizure and makes expressions on her face like she's possessed by a demon or something. She would be alot prettier if she wouldn't try so hard to be sexy...she must be one of the most insecure women in the entire world. It's sad!
I hope they know they that once you get a reality show, ordinary people will comb through public records and put all your business out there on the interwebs for shits and giggles.
Countdown to finding out Courtney is really 60, is her mother's mother and has served time for prostitution, bad checks and converting her storage shed into a meth lab. Can't wait!
This ho makes Pam Anderson look like the epitome of modesty. Her back has GOT to hurt from sticking her tits out all the time.
I think my eyes have just contracted herpes from watching her gyrate her sticky crotch all over that car.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:39am.
I want da troof!
How old is this trick?!
Cuz if she is a teenager as she claims, she needs to sue God and the Holy Ghost for her teen years BACK!
Yeah!! Where's her long form birth certificate!
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Old lady stop trying.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
I want da troof!
How old is this trick?!
Cuz if she is a teenager as she claims, she needs to sue God and the Holy Ghost for her teen years BACK!
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She is trying to hard to look sexy. She already looks used up.
Could this fuckery replace the other fuckery that is the Kardashians?
Submitted by dfanintheD on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:29am.
Hey, I'm getting a sex change. But sadly, I still won't be able to have babies. I do hope a friend or two gets pregnant, though, so I can at least experience their pregnancies!
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God bless you.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:27am.
TEAM WATCHING this MESS!
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Like there was even a question?
:-x@ Chris Concubine. I just hope all the links to Drunken Stepfather don't contribute to his personality development.
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Changed your email?
Raul:
Hahahahahahaha! A twitch-off?!?!?
Maybe Michael J. Fox can go on this mess and challenge her to a twitch off.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Sorry! Not trying to stir up shit, but I really can't find this humorous. MJF has a medical condition that causes his involuntary movements. She, sadly (for her only) is a nasty, disgusting fame whore Skank spaz. And her "twitching" is her virtually worthless attempts at being sexy!
And Michael, beginning to show facial symptoms of PD is still sexier than that ho bitch any day of the week!!! U go Mike!!!! {o:
(nothing personal to you Raul, just have huge love and respect for Michael J. Fox for all he is doing to try and get $$$$ for research to find an end to Parkinsons Disease. And as a nurse I find I often tend to 'speak up' for people with long term, debilitating illnesses. ). =o)
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"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !
''Radar seductively reports that the sensuous creature Courtney Stodden provocatively grabbed her sexy husband's long hard pen and deliciously dipped it into her wet ink jar and salaciously saturated the voluptuous contract with her pleasurable signature of lustful desire. I LOVE JESUS!''
Funny!
I just read a few of her tweets. If you need a good laugh (apart from here) that's where it's at. And she's serious.
Simply unbelievable.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
look at the bright side, as long as fake tits here is on tv we will always have great the soup videos.
and yes her implants are way too big for her body frame, lets not talk about those lips.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
TEAM WATCHING this MESS!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:20am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:14am.
Isn't she 17?
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yea, I'm not buyin that shit.... I know teenagers today look NOTHING like they did when I was a kid (some of Lil G's friends need to be locked up for looking as old as they do) but this bitch here... she's GOT to be older than 17...
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:21am.
I hate to admit it, but I am sure I would watch at least one episode of this train wreck
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Oh, I have no shame, I will freely and happily admit that come premiere night, I will be watching with great anticipation. I hope the fuckery starts soon!
She could be a crackhead!
...but she does have good hair. & i would watch one epi just to to annoy myself & to make fun.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Skynet: "Activate Unit T-69. Initiate 'sexy' mode. Send to the past to destroy all humans"
T-69/Courtney: "I AM A SEXY ROBO---UH, HUMAN. LOOK AT MY SEXY MOVES. LISTEN TO ME BEING SEXY. PURRRRRRR."
All Humans: "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
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"Joy and sorrow are life's companions."
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:20am.
Shit like this makes me want to take a Women's Studies class. In real life I'm a mother, and I fear that I will struggle controlling how society influences my son's idea of women as people and not objects. I don't want to lose.
Oh, honey. You're a D-Lister. You'll teach him plenty. He'll grow up respecting women so much he'll get a sex change just so he can experience the joys of childbirth. :)
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Hey, I'm getting a sex change. But sadly, I still won't be able to have babies. I do hope a friend or two gets pregnant, though, so I can at least experience their pregnancies!
I hate to admit it, but I am sure I would watch at least one episode of this train wreck just like I watched one episode of the Gypsy wedding show.
I think the devil's network, E, will probably make a bid for this show.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:14am.
Isn't she 17?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Shit like this makes me want to take a Women's Studies class. In real life I'm a mother, and I fear that I will struggle controlling how society influences my son's idea of women as people and not objects. I don't want to lose.
who is this trick blowing that she receives so much press?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Creepy trolls. But it would be great if this show turned out to be more successful than Paris Hilton's.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
Doug was better on this show. http://youtu.be/02jPkg5AhEc
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
will these people o.d. already..fuk.
Why camo?! Slashed red latex would've been lightyears more seductive and elegant.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
whenever I see her face I wanna slap a muzzle on it, tie her up and beat her repeatedly over the head with a blunt object... she has nice tits though.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011