Maggie Gyllenhaal Has Her Own Vibrator Swap Program

If you ever get a promotional e-mail from a site called Netdix, you can send your complaints to Maggie Gyllenhaal for putting ideas into people's heads and other places. Maggie is out promoting Hysteria, that movie she did about the world's first vibrator, and says that while filming it several London sex toy stores sent her enough electro pussy ticklers to fill an episode of Whoarders (and a Scientology men's sauna). It was like Clitmas for her cooze!

Maggie tells The Cut (via Gothamist) that she has a selfless vagina and wants to gift all of her friends with nut busting goodness so she lends her vibrators out and they use them for months at a time. YES. Maggie shares her vibrators. Do they even make vibrator sanitizer? What about vibrator condoms? This pussy dust sharing nasty bitch!

"By the time I finished the movie I'd been sent maybe 15 vibrators by different people in London with vibrator stores. It was a pleasant surprise. So I have this incredible collection, and I actually use like one or two of them. I lend them to my friends, and they’ll take them for six months at a time. [While shooting Hysteria] I was sent a lot of vibrators from different sex stores in England while we were shooting the movie. I shared them around."

This mess of words did make me ewwwwwww from every body hole (Hazmat is on their way), but then I thought about it. I mean, I became blood brothers with my best friend when I was a kid. Isn't this sort of the same thing? If you're both surfing the red tide at the same time you had dirty silicone sex with the same vibrator, isn't that like a blood sisters ceremony? Or let me put it this way. Let's say you and your friend were both new kinds of drunk and a peen landed in front of you, would you lick it at the same time? You're a shameless whore slut so just say YES. Sharing vibrators is practically the same thing! It's like prolonged group sex for the lonely.

P.S. - If you ever get that e-mail from Netdix, forward it my way.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:59pm.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:53pm.

LMAO!!! I didn't even notice how old it was!!

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"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:53pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:50pm.

LMAO you got sucked into an old thread by a spammer :) Hahaha. And I guess so did I!

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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/11/2013 - 12:50pm.

Ok, this story is freakin hot!

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"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur

Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:35pm.

lmao at this! My ex would so dig this whole topic area. He loved those little missiles up his who who hole.

I prefer the big realistic dildos personally.

Just sharin'
.
.

Submitted by nightowl on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:23pm.

Awww shit I missed the vibrator thread!

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Submitted by Nightowl:

I basically, like, literally wished that I had been here to conversate about this story, no pun ontended. Irregardless, I technically was reading the proverbial posts, per se!

Submitted by Chucks on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 8:56pm.

If those are really the vibrators she is trading she's even more boring than I thought.

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 8:51pm.

Instead of trying to promote sex, Maggie should promote something she knows something about. Maybe that's smoking? I don't know. It's sure not sex or anything sexual or sexy. And it's not sex, as well.

Submitted by stinkbutt on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 8:46pm.

Is this her way of staying relevant? Can this no talent, cheap ass be any cheaper? I can't stand people like her. You have all the money in the world thanks to your parents giving you an acting career, and you have to be a cheap ass?...damn!!! Give the shit away bitch, you got it for freeeee!!!

Submitted by IrritableBowel on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 8:00pm.

I can't stand this droopy faced bitch. She is so open-minded-than-thou. She's like one of those people who is like "What? Your dad doesn't do your bikini wax for you? You are SO uptight!"

Submitted by Stan Dup on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:30pm.

I heard that the dishwasher can get those dildos as good as new.

Submitted by sushi on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 4:57pm.

Why the fuck do we need to know this?

Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 4:46pm.

She "lends" them? What's the phone call like, 6 months later? Hello? This is Maggie. Remember that double-ended dildo with the clit attachment I lent you? You still using that?

She probably buys her underwear at the Goodwill too. Faded, torn panties with yellow crotches and bras with deodorant stains. *Barfs everywhere*

Submitted by blueangel on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 4:36pm.

Ick. Nast. Who "lends" out a vibrator? I thought she made decent money as a lousy actress. Can't she afford to just give them away? She's cheap, disgusting, and downright gross!

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 4:22pm.

Okay I'm sure she did actually use sanitizer or washed her sex toys in boiling water, but this STILL runs along the lines of TM-fucking-I. Honestly, no one wants to know this. Just keep it to yourself.

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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK

Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 3:36pm.

I'm sorry, but I don't love my friends enough to swap p---y juice with them.

That's fucking disgusting.

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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by Poopele on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 2:38pm.

Her brother always offers to carry them for her, and he doesn't have a purse.

Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 2:20pm.

This is a very gross story. Does she save used condoms and pass them out too?

Submitted by tonicbitch on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:54am.

I'm glad I'm not in Maggie's Sisterhood of the Traveling pussy-ticklers circle. YUCK!!

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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy

Submitted by Neurotic on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:10am.

I hardly believe any of this. Maggie's just trying to look interesting and shit, so she can sell whatever project.

Submitted by Starr07 on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:57am.

Submitted by DDT on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:53am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:08am.
I wanna see this movie. I'm very 19th century psychiatrist myself in that I think nothing adjusts the attitude like a screaming orgasm. Really, it releases endorphins and shit.
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Gonna have to agree. I'm into all that freaky historical/Freudian/Victorian stuff, I find it intriguing, fascinating, and arousing.
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Cosign Cosign Cosign

The screaming orgasm is where it's at for us women. Without it, watch out world!

Of course it's different for men..they seem to handle the problem of going w/out sex so much better than us girls ; )

Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:44am.

Submitted by TheBrazilliant on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:46am.
...A lot of you wouldn't think twice before diving mouth-first at a dick which could've been (probably was) in some other ho's orifices just yesterday, ... .
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This statement is very true and indeed indicative of my dick suckin days. But the first thing my mouth would dive on is a glass of wine (to clean my mouth)...then it would go to glass number 2 (to get me in the mood and a repeat a couple of proactive Hail Mary's)...then it would open wide for a shot (to completely drop the guards and help me forget about it). Good sucks are what you make of it...and HEY, if a ho asked to borrow my VB friend, they can have at it. I just wouldn't want it back cause I'm sensitive like that.

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:35am.

And I just set Secretary to record...love that movie.
" The thing about love is you're always at its mercy"

Submitted by muffintops on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:28am.

Have you seen/heard her husband? Its no wonder she needs a few vibrators laying around.

Submitted by dcgirl on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:28am.

Maggie Gyllenhaal sure works overtime trying to prove that her success owes nothing to being Hollywood blue blood. She's always making "edgy" comments and playing slutty Sherry Baby type roles.

Submitted by Supertramp on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:22am.

Ick! Nasty! Gross! It ranks up there with sharing used dental floss or reusing panty liners.

Submitted by Naughychimp on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:14am.

I think every girl should be given a Hitachi Magic Wand for her quincaenera or Sweet 16 party. It should be a rule that girls masturbate as much as guys before they actually start having sex.

That being said, Maggie is just a gross person and spewing crap so she'll get attention for this film. I love my vibrators and would never consider sharing.

Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:01am.

I want a vibrator like the one in this post! They are so pretty and slimline. I've got myself a finger rocket and a Blush, but I'd like this shiny metal kind....

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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler

Submitted by freshfacestripper on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:54am.

THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING! NASTY PUTA.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:50am.

guest: Maks' girls always are!

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Akare on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:45am.

Well, I usually don't question MK's trusty information but I read this article days ago and in it she is talking about handbags.
Here is the source.

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2011/09/maggie_gylenhaal_has_more_hand.ht...

PS. Why a vibrator when you can have a showerhead?
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If you don't like it, don't look at it!

Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:51am.

To me sharing vibrators isn't much different than sleeping around with guys. You actually share dudes if you've had more than one sexual partner... so where's the "yuck factor" here?. Some guys and chicks don't even bother with genital hygiene and plenty of men don't use condoms, but at least you can get to wash a dildo in the dish washer. And for the record, I don't like sex toys. I would rather do it with a real dude attached to a real penis.

I think she's joking... sort of.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by guest on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:44am.

well he didn't so :p. i think maks' gurrl is hot for teacher.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:41am.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:02am.
Is it wrong that all this vibrator talk has me getting saucy?
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No....
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:36am.

Deb; they are so funny. I used to watch all the shows!

guest: HO, you so lucky your man almost went home last night!!

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by ZenShaman on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:34am.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:00am.

By the way, the best vibrator is the Hitachi Magic Wand.
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Isn't that the thing that was originally marketed as a neck/shoulder massager until bored housewives discovered it's orgasmic pleasure?

__________________________

I think so BUT its a fabulous device better than all those new gadgets. It will give you MEGA orgasms.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:32am.

Is it wrong that all this vibrator talk has me getting saucy?

Submitted by guest on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:32am.

snoweee...look @ my avie...lolz!

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:30am.

Submitted by ZenShaman on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:52am.
That's nasty! I don't want a vibrator back that a friend used. ICK!!!

By the way, the best vibrator is the Hitachi Magic Wand.
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Isn't that the thing that was originally marketed as a neck/shoulder massager until bored housewives discovered it's orgasmic pleasure?

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:29am.

"How do you clean it, Baby? With some Pine Sol?"

HAHAHAHAHA! I love these two!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Goldigga on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:27am.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:52am.

and who the fuck only gives a blowjob with a damn condom on???
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You do if he's a sailor who just got back from the Philippines....or so I've heard *cough*

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"Your mama is going to make George Clooney happier than anybody ever could!" - MK

Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:26am.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:52am.
and who the fuck only gives a blowjob with a damn condom on???

professional dick suckers.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:25am.

Submitted by ZenShaman on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:52am.
Hitachi Magic Wand
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they also make awesome cordless drills... coinky dink, I think not.
_____________________________________________
"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:25am.

HERE IT IS!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5LpEZijYMA

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:24am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:52am.
I put my used tampons in the dishwasher then I give them to my friends. It's the green thing to do
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You ain't right, girl. LMFAO!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:24am.

snowy - scheduled the meeting for Friday.

Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 9:24am.

team no share
but I dont share my underwear and I dont put anything in any orifices from other people that easily

"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma