There was this seasoned chola who worked in my mom’s office and she once took me aside during her lunch break to show me Polaroids she kept in her glove compartment of her cruisin’ days before her tattoos looked like pieces from a wrinkled coloring book and before she dyed her hair a lovely shade of Montebello blond (as she puts it). What she looked like in those pictures looks almost exactly like 14-year-old Lourdes at a Material Girl event with Kelly Osbourne in NYC yesterday. The teenage spawn of Madge looks like the spitting image of the seasoned chola office assistant in her glory days!
Well, Lourdes would completely look like the spitting image of a 70s chola if you traded her plain hair for feathered hair wings and traded her yellow dress for a baggy plaid shirt and high-waisted polyester pants. But other than that, it’s uncanny!
What I’m trying to say is that if Roberto Benigni (whatever happened to Roberto Benigni anyway) was telling the truth when he said that life is beautiful, then Lourdes will grow up to be a gorgeous Radiology office assistant who smells like a mixture of L.A. Looks gel and Avon perfume, and drives a brown Lincoln with a warped TimeLife oldies cassette stuck in its tape deck. If only!