Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 21, 2011 / Posted by:

This female star has certainly had her ups and downs. Her career has gone up and down and has expanded over more than one creative medium. She has dated at least three or four famous guys, has been married to and divorced from another celebrity, and is a tabloid staple. Depending on who you talk to and which day it is, she is either gorgeous or ugly. Well, we know one thing for sure: she is pregnant! She is seven weeks along, and you should expect the announcement within the next couple of weeks. She could wait longer, but she wants to avoid the criticisms about her fluctuating weight. She thinks it will be good for people to know that she “has a baby on board, rather than a burrito on board.” Both she and her partner are very happy about the pregnancy. Oh, and they will be getting married, although the wedding will now happen after the baby is born. (Blind Gossip)

Jess “no longer has to suck it in” ica Simpson? If this is Jessica, it’s wonderful news for her, because now bitches who are always measuring up the rise and fall of her full-bodied fupa area have to suck on their tongues when she slips that extra honey bran muffin from Hometown Buffet into her purse and they will really have to chew their lips when she eats said honey bran muffin in the car on the way home. Jessica is usually always eating for two (herself and her feelings), but now she’s really eating for two and finally has a good excuse for eating a Fudgesicle in a hot dog bun for breakfast every morning.

Meanwhile, will somebody please put your foot in front of Papa Joe as his WRONG ASS runs to the local massage school to get certified in the holistic art of swollen pregnant titty massaging.

In the last month you’ve have seen pics of these two C listers, who are famous for being famous, going to dinner together. The rumor is that while one was in the bathroom, the other star spit several times into the absent star’s dinner. (BuzzFoto)

Kim Kardashian and LaLa Vasquez with LaLa doing the honors? If you’re about to say to me “But Michael, Kim Kuntrashian is all A-list,” then please go back to kindergarten so that you can learn that in the fame whore alphabet there’s only one letter: F (for fail, fuckoff, etc…). Yes, they teach the fame whore alphabet in kindergarten now.

This children’s network television host has a sex tape floating around the internet. Her hair is a different color and she goes under an alias, but a source says it is definitely her and she made the tape one year before getting a job at the children’s network. (BuzzFoto)

Foofa from Yo Gabba Gabba! (more like Yo Gobble Gobble!), obviously. Or Genevieve Goings the train conductor with the most exquisite eyebrows to ever grace children’s television (next to Linda from Sesame Street, of course).

This former B lister and now probably a C. The only thing that saves him from D list obscurity is the occasional part and his name. Anyway, the actor has had his issues with various drugs in the past and the past week was no exception. At a charity event, our actor was wasted out of his mind when he began making a scene. Later, he hit on several women in front of his wife and told the various women that he and his wife were separating anyway. He called out to a princess in her 30’s by saying hey chick. Obnoxious does not even begin to describe his behavior. (CDAN)

Stephen Baldwin?

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