As her friends Gayelle King, Mrs. Rojo Caliente, Fran Drescher and Natasha Lyonne winked on, Rosie O’Donnell debuted her new hot girlfriend Michelle Rounds to the public at Rosie’s Theater Kids Galas in NYC last night. Ironically enough, they’re like the lesbian version of Donald Trump and his gorgeous stunning trophy wife Melania Trump. But it truly is a beautiful moment in the history of equality when premium gold diggers can hand a shovel and ink-erasing liquid (for prenups) to a lesbian and welcome her into their tribe.
A source type tell People that Rosie met the Holly Hunter look-alike with perfectly crafted ladle brows at a Starbucks a few months ago and they’ve been bumping tart pies ever since. The source went on to say that they’re very, very happy. Rosie kept her top lips closed about the new lady love that’s making her patootie poot. But she said on stage at her event that she just bought a red bra “with the underpants that match and everything” so she must be down to munch.
Gold digging jokes aside, Michelle Rounds really is one lucky bitch. Yes, sometimes living with Rosie is probably as pleasant as licking up Donald Trump’s undertit cheese with the lights on, but she’s rich as all hell, is a premiere haiku poet and looks like she can eat a coochie like it’s made of coconut frosting. Seriously, I bet if you put a tiny teased merkin over your chocha and called it Donald Trump, Rosie would eat the rage (and more) out of it.