Michelle Williams Wants To Wash Your Dirty Panties
Michelle Williams tells Hobo Magazine (via UsWeekly) that she sometimes lets her mind twirl around in the puffy clouds and dreams of one day trading in six-figure paychecks for shit swipes on white briefs. Michelle saw some stage show in Paris and it gave her ideas of quitting acting to become a laundress or chef. My Chinese laundry lady would curse this wittle white bitch out in her native tongue, but her hiss time is already full with cursing my name for various reasons I do not wish to discuss.
This is the dream bubble bullshit Michelle said to Hobo:
I went to see two productions put on by Complicite, Simon’s theatre troupe and felt like I had the sleep rubbed out of my eyes. It seemed like a new horizon for me. I often dream of quitting acting. Walking away and becoming a laundress or a sous chef or maybe writing other people’s love letters for a living. Clearly, I don’t like to be in charge. And thinking of quitting is just keeping going in disguise. When you have options, anything is bearable. It’s when a situation is inescapable that it becomes hell. It seems to me that as soon as you get good at something, it is a sure sign that it is about to walk out of your life because it ceases to hold your mind and creative energy hostage.
This head in the clouds ho right here. Newsflash, Michelle. You ain't Daniel Day-Lewis and life ain't like My Beautiful Laundrette.
Like Michelle Williams said, she's rich so it's easy for her to think that doing laundry is a glamorous aria like it is in the operas! This chick probably thinks that when you're a laundress, you get to wear a pristine white cotton dress and leap through the grass fields before you play a game of peek-a-boo with your fellow laundresses in between the bed sheets hanging on the clothesline. Then Michelle will whistle a happy tune as she skips down a pathway, holding a wicker basket full of folded white laundry that smells like the spring rain and flower farts.
Guess what, Michelle? In reality, that grassy knoll with the clothesline is really a hot, dirty storefront full of hos who don't want to be there. That laundry in the wicker basket needs to be folded by you. Some prop master isn't going to hand it to you. You have to stare at faded period stains on a sheet while trying to fold it. You have to look at a man's chonies and try to figure out if that yellow stain is from last-minute bladder drops or dried jizz.
I swear, those Snuggle Bear commercials are giving some hos uneducated dreams.
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It's easy for people with money to contemplate these things..come to my job we'll see how much you love the same monotonous shit day in & day out for shit pay
Anyone else think this pic looks like a highly feminine Justin Bieber? It's like a window into if he was a girl.
Who spends money on having people write their love letters when all you need to do is text a time, location, and "dtf?" to your intended?
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
I've always thought that she was/is incredibly beautiful. Just perfect features - skin, nose, lips, eyes. But I also think she is incredibly up her own arse! I have read a few of her interviews and she comes across as intelligent but annoying as hell. Pretentious is the word I guess. I'd like to look like her and have her money but NOT her uppity personality.
I'm surprised she'd say something so stupid, considering she was in Wendy and Lucy, a very good film about a girl who was dirt poor and had NO OPTIONS because of it.
She's got the most perfect set of eyebrows though, I'd love to steal them.
She shits bigger then she eats.
I can only assume that "HoBo" is one of those cutesy place names like SoHo, SoMa, or NoHo.
Nightowl, Blue Valentine was really good. Depressing, but good.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
She looks beautiful. Is the Blue Valentine movie she was in good?
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Submitted by Nightowl:
I basically, like, literally wished that I had been here to conversate about this story, no pun ontended. Irregardless, I technically was reading all
Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, but methinks someone is a little out of touch with the reality of being a common person.
I do love her as an actress, and I can't imagine what she must have gone throught after Ledger died.
Having said that, she's no Marilyn. The only Marilyn IS Marilyn.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
She looks beautiful here in a Mia Farrow sort of way. But they have to stop this Marilyn Monroe shit--MM she ain't.
I'd love to have a little stand on a beach in Hawaii and sell suntan lotion and give free massages to all the young hot babes...
But then I WOKE THE FUCK UP!! LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE! GET IT BITCH???
Yes it would be great to do nothing much when you don't have to worry about paying your bills!
STFU you boring twee cunt. Your thoughts sounds like a Michel Gondry film.
Wow, she looks like a young Mia Farrow. Very flattering photo.
Beautiful.
@stake_spike: YES. took the words right out of my mouth. It's clearly some hipster douche mag for hipster douches, therefore, we should not take anything in here seriously, ever. Kind of like the 10 or so photoshoots Lohan's done for Nylon magazine (whatever that is).
I've always liked Michelle. I hope she keeps it that way by not giving further interviews in which she makes no sense whatsoever.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
I love her pixie cut - so few faces wear it well. A vast improvement on her laughable attempt to channel Marilyn.
Laundress ambitions? *side eyes evil ironing basket* She can start at my place.
in top shape MK! you are the funniest ever ~ I love it (and wish you can be by my side next time someone deserves a verbal bitchslap realitycheck)
This is a great cover. Michelle Williams is better as Michelle Williams instead of being Marilyn Monroe.
I think she's fantastic.
Blah blah blah. Cry me a river. You have a "job" most people would love to have and get paid for playing pretend. Please. If you want to wash floors or make pastry, feel free to drop out of site and JUST DO IT and STFU about it.
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
milk that heath ledger death train to the bank bitch
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
oops! sorry for the super double triple trigger finger! :S
I've never seen the fuss around her. She is dull, she has no charisma and no talent. Even so, she is less annoying that Paltrow.
P.S. Such a gorgeous pic of Michelle, btw.
P.S. Such a gorgeous pic of Michelle, btw.
P.S. Such a gorgeous pic of Michelle, btw.
She's a good smizer. Tyra would be proud.
That's my SSN (say something nice) for the day.
Ah! MK you make it sound so romantical like the way you say "holding a wicker basket full of folded white laundry that smells like the spring rain and flower farts"..
*sits and dreams of flower farts..*
I mean.. really.. what is NOT to love about that??
Her hands are fug and for the last time, bitch you are NOT Jean Seberg. I've seen her wearing the exact same outfit as from "Breathless". She's like the goofy dorky chick in school who bloomed late and fell in love with the doomed/tortured artist image late in her 20s.
Heath probably OD'ed to get away from how boring she is, it really is the only interesting thing about her and wow, did she milk it.
When you're romanticizing the hell out of doing someone's laundry is when you are way too out-of-touch.
Maybe it would do her some good. What thee f*ck.
I'm more interested in "Hobo Magazine" WTF? Let me guess it's some hipster mag you can only find in the LES, an NYU campus or Brooklyn? Only a hipster would think Hobo would be a good name for a magazine. I'm guessing there's some long winded explanation behind the name too. Ugh.
Screw this chick. Never liked her (yes I hold a grudge. I only watched 3 episodes of Dawson's Creek but I remember my dislike for her well). And please she's not that well off. Indie movies don't pay that well. I seriously doubt this chick has ever commanded even $3m for a movie. She doesn't have that kind of star power (and Heath wasn't that well off).
I always really liked her, and still do. She left home at 15 and went to LA with one friend, I've heard her talk about living off of macaroni and canned tuna for months while she and her friend were auditioning. I always appreciate celebs that actually did experience some of the real world before making it...people like Goop live their entire lives in a world that is nothing like what the rest of us experience but Michelle grew up in a small town then went out on her own and made it..I respect that
She had this other quote where she was saying that after Heath Ledger died she kept touching people's faces and saying "Look at you...you move...you're here."
ugh really??? what a dumb bitch.
she'd be Queen Pretentious of Twat if she had fishsticks' ego issues so thank goodness for small favors.
Submitted by Rockwell on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 11:41am.
P.S. I'm sorry, but a publication entitled "Hobo Magazine" SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE THE PICTURE OF A HOBO ON THE COVER! This bullshit here is downright misleading.
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LOLOL!
I have absolutely no idea who this bitch is
I previously held no opinion of her one way or the other, with the exception that I liked how she rocks the short hair. However, the waves of pretension rolling off the screen and into my eye holes after reading that dreck makes me STABBY! WTF bitch?!? Sounds just like the queen of posturing, Ms. Fishsticks Paltrow. She and Gwyneth need to lie in a European meadow and talk about what shapes the clouds are above them while nibbling on organic granola bars. Perhaps they can daydream about what "commoner employment" they can take up when they must finally throw off the excruciating, yet oh so fulfilling job of acting because it's just too much to bear anymore. Emoting for the masses must be exhausting. Pffft.
P.S. I'm sorry, but a publication entitled "Hobo Magazine" SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE THE PICTURE OF A HOBO ON THE COVER! This bullshit here is downright misleading.
She looks pretty on the cover, but that shit is Photoshopped to cover up her wide jaw and fat neck.
This bitch is really getting on my nerves. She had this other quote where she was saying that after Heath Ledger died she kept touching people's faces and saying "Look at you...you move...you're here." I was like, BITCH STOP. She acts like she was Heath's widow when they'd already broken up by then. Pretentious, spoiled, given too much praise. Shut yo mouth and clean my dirty chonies.
Yeah, well, I'd be saying crazy shit too if my baby-daddy OD'd in an Olsen twin's apartment.
(I can't hate. She has really cute hair.)
Submitted by Margaret: "Pretentious hipster is pretentious."
That summed it up nicely. Thanks, Margaret.
Submitted by The Fly on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 11:02am.
"I don’t believe that life is linear. I think of it as circles—concentric circles that connect.
omg I came to that same conclusion during a wonderful shrooms trip right after 9/11. great times. :D
"You ain't Daniel Day-Lewis"
I actually thought this comment was in reference to DDL taking up cobbling.
Sarah Smile
Statements one will hear from few of these Hollywood assholes:
"It seemed like a new horizon for me. I often dream of quitting acting. Walking away and....
taking the SAT and getting a college degree. God knows I wouldn't have any loans or true career-related pressure, so I'd love to just take advantage of the money I've earned and challenge myself academically. After that, maybe I'll go back to acting, because I'm sure it'll seem easy after a respite from it, or maybe I'll go to medical or law school. I'm just so fortunate to have these options available to me."
Sarah Smile
Submitted by kokoskitten on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 11:02am.
Well Michelle besides the lucrative careers as a laundress and "love letter writer" (complete with quill pen and homemade paper) you should check out being a cobbler,wet nurse, stone mason, candlestick maker or butter churner (churnstress??).
@Koko, churnstress made me giggle. She probably has some poetic notion of being a character in a Dickens novel or some shit like that.
"You ain't Daniel Day-Lewis and life ain't like My Beautiful Laundrette."
She most certainly ain't! daniel day lewis was sexy in that movie. the opposite of that would be MICHELLE WILLIAMS IN HO MAGAZINE.
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Help me!
MK I LOVE the "grassy knoll" reference. Beyond genius!
Michelle is all up in Marilyn Monroe's drawers, but if we gave her Marilyn MANSON'S drawers to wash she would be singing a different tune.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Submitted by Brooke276 on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 11:09am.
THIS BITCH. "I EAT POETRY"???? Well, bitch I eat Ho-Ho's.....Doesn't make me a rocket scientist.
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What's worse is that the interviewer then asks, "You never have indigestion?"
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Help me!
Stop trying so fucking hard Michelle. You aren't some A list actress, you're Heath Ledgers baby mama who was on a hit TV series 15 years ago.
Oh, and if you want to quit Hollywood, quit. STFU you have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life.
THIS BITCH. "I EAT POETRY"???? Well, bitch I eat Ho-Ho's.....Doesn't make me a rocket scientist.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks :I dream of escaping my job too. It pays well and I'm lucky to have one and I don't really have to work too hard except on occasion. But I work with some pretty vile, shady, do-anything-to-get-ahead type bitches. Gossiping, other people's spouse fucking, greedy, lazy, fairly unevolved, materialistic, suburban parasites.
But other than that, the job rocks!
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Sounds like my job except for the vile, sketchy bitches. I'm the only bitch here and I like it that way!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)