Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 20, 2011 / Posted by:

Khemmikka Na Songkhla, the professional titty slapper of Bangkok (more like Bangtit) who slaps the beauty right into women all over Thailand.

Over in the mythical land of Thailand, ladies who want to be plumper in the chichi area but don’t want a surgeon’s scalpel cutting into their body go to Miss Songkhla who uses an ancient secret technique called Smacking Yo Bitch Titties Up to bring a woman closer to Christina Hendricks proportions without surgery. Miss Songkhla uses her magical hands to pinch, slap and knead fat into chichis as the soundtrack from Vibes plays in the background.

Miss Songkhla’s titty slapping boutique was in danger of being shut down when one woman claimed that getting her breasts Ike Turnered gave her cancer. The Thai Health Ministry stepped in and conducted a 6-month study where they closely examined Miss Songkhla’s chichi abuse techniques. After all was said and done, and they cleaned up the mess in their chonies, they ruled that not only does Miss Songkhla’s techniques not cause breast cancer, but some subjects’ chichis actually grew a few cup sizes. Miss Songkhla’s titty slapping hand is government approved!

That right there is the perfect job. You get to legally whoop a trick for a check? Count me in. Miss Songkhla teaches her ancient art to wannabe titty slappers for over $100,000, but I don’t need to learn from her. I watch a lot of Dynasty and Bad Girls Club. If you want a JLo ass, just come to me and I’ll get you there by giving your nalgas a double “You stole my man AND company” slap. I’ll even moisturize your ass skin by spitting at it. My salon will also offer an ancient hood rat technique that strengthens follicle roots by dragging you by the hair on the floor. Don’t worry, gentlemen, there’s also dick treatments for you. My choke, pinch and flick technique might not make your peen grow a few inches, but it will definitely keep that bitch in check!

Oh, and both RiRi and that Cleveland party bus driver now know why they received invoices in the mail from Chris Brown and Matthew Fox’s Titty Slapping Salon of Beauty. This is also why you should run a credit check and take your piece’s bank account information before you spank them in the ass during fuck times. That shit is extra.

via The Frisky

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