Hot Slut Of The Day!
Khemmikka Na Songkhla, the professional titty slapper of Bangkok (more like Bangtit) who slaps the beauty right into women all over Thailand.
Over in the mythical land of Thailand, ladies who want to be plumper in the chichi area but don't want a surgeon's scalpel cutting into their body go to Miss Songkhla who uses an ancient secret technique called Smacking Yo Bitch Titties Up to bring a woman closer to Christina Hendricks proportions without surgery. Miss Songkhla uses her magical hands to pinch, slap and knead fat into chichis as the soundtrack from Vibes plays in the background.
Miss Songkhla's titty slapping boutique was in danger of being shut down when one woman claimed that getting her breasts Ike Turnered gave her cancer. The Thai Health Ministry stepped in and conducted a 6-month study where they closely examined Miss Songkhla's chichi abuse techniques. After all was said and done, and they cleaned up the mess in their chonies, they ruled that not only does Miss Songkhla's techniques not cause breast cancer, but some subjects' chichis actually grew a few cup sizes. Miss Songkhla's titty slapping hand is government approved!
That right there is the perfect job. You get to legally whoop a trick for a check? Count me in. Miss Songkhla teaches her ancient art to wannabe titty slappers for over $100,000, but I don't need to learn from her. I watch a lot of Dynasty and Bad Girls Club. If you want a JLo ass, just come to me and I'll get you there by giving your nalgas a double "You stole my man AND company" slap. I'll even moisturize your ass skin by spitting at it. My salon will also offer an ancient hood rat technique that strengthens follicle roots by dragging you by the hair on the floor. Don't worry, gentlemen, there's also dick treatments for you. My choke, pinch and flick technique might not make your peen grow a few inches, but it will definitely keep that bitch in check!
Oh, and both RiRi and that Cleveland party bus driver now know why they received invoices in the mail from Chris Brown and Matthew Fox's Titty Slapping Salon of Beauty. This is also why you should run a credit check and take your piece's bank account information before you spank them in the ass during fuck times. That shit is extra.
via The Frisky
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Clarification:
100,000 Thai BAHT, not dollars, for lessons.
Aka $5.00.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 11:12am.
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 10:36am.
Will your Dlisted friends get a discount?
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Dlisters are no charge.
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Excellent! Do you make housecalls, or would we just meet out back by the dumpster?
*calls Jack's office to make appointment to have mah tittays slapped into shape*
NO ONE is permitted to slap the shit outta my tits unless you've got your dick in me and you are fucking me dirty as hell.
If you slap the crap out of anything you'll induce some temporary swelling BUT I like how when they did the measuring tape thing the first measurement was actually of her chest above the bust line and the second measurement was taken directly over the fullest part of her bust line.
There's a 3 inch difference if I measure my boobs that same way ( o )( o )
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"I'm bluffin with my muffin."
Submitted by agirl on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 10:36am.
Will your Dlisted friends get a discount?
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Dlisters are no charge.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
That looks like it hurts.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 7:46am.
Will it firm up low hangers? If so, I think I've got a pretty good client base and may open up shop... SLAP SHOP!
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LOL Jack I had feeling this thread would inspire you to begin a new career!!
Will your Dlisted friends get a discount?
Buy one titty slap, get the second titty slapped for half price!
WTF? Is this for real? I can see that maybe (MAYBE) the boob slapping would work temporarily, from swelling and increased circulation following the slight injury of the slapping...
...but that other girl's face changing shape? I call BS. Slapping will not change the shape of your face or alter your jawline. Unless maybe it was Mike Tyson in his prime who was slapping you.
Swollen titties is a no-brainer but what about the before and after pictures the girl showed of her face - I couldn't tell which was which.
I knew a Puerto Rican girl who used to knead the fat on her stomach, saying it broke up the fat.
*shrugs*
Her stomach was flat. But what do I know?
I agree with Rusty: The slapping temporarily firms up the area with blood and they appear bigger. The face slapping, though, that looks for realz. I am certainly going to try that on a few of my neighbors and co-workers.
I am also reminded of the free breast exans being offered by the altruistic Cam:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ytMx7irm-c
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
What's with the club music in the opening segment and a couple of her 'clients' have the distinct look of 'lady boys'…..
BTW-I remember my mother in the early 70's doing some kind of titty slapping all in the interests of beauty...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Further proof that people will believe in ANYTHING and that some women just need a big slap on the brains. Maybe that will make their brains swell and think better. I hope this shit doesn't become the new trend in Hollywood to hide breast implants.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
How come Songkhla herself isn't 44DD?
Or, you could just get knocked up and breastfeed forever. Nothing plumps them up like being engorged with milk.
WOW AMAZING...just amazing!
You touch me and I cut you! I suspect this works about as well as that "I must, I must, I must increase my bust!" thing they did in "Are you there God? It's me Margaret"
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"Your mama is going to make George Clooney happier than anybody ever could!" - MK
The government seal of approval in Thailand is dependent on your results in baht handed to government officials. I'm curious to know if a small dick gets smacked around does it get bigger too? Because she could seriously go global with this.
" The thing about love is you're always at its mercy"
If they didn't have fibrocystic breasts before, they do now.
I love the girl shows her before and after treatment photo....did she forget to hide her face behind the photo, since it looks just like the "before"?
Eastern medicine has a lot of great ideas and a lot of nutty ideas. Here, I bet the slapping just increases circulation and makes the boobs swell temporarily. Someone was just telling me about gargling all-natural, hand-pressed sesame oil to whiten the teeth and prevent cavities. *shrugs*
Ooowwwwwww...I'm sensitive. This does not look like fun. I am a little intrigued by Jack's "low hangers" comment though...
*does tittay slapping research*
"usually you have to pay double for that kind of action".
~ Dodgeball
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 8:08am.
lololll
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Never mind the tittay slapping, if I had to listen to the voice for any length of time I'd kick her in the box.
Sorry Jack, I just noticed you were opening a shop as well. lol!
Well I guess it's a good thing I've included the Ass whacking at my shop.
This has me intrigued....it must have something to do with the increased blood flow.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Okay, let me get this straight. Her titty slapping shop had to be investigated by the government so they could prove slapping titties does not cause cancer?
Um okay.
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 7:38am.
I'm intrigued...
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Well you can be my first customer Nan, I just ran out and registered my new company.
Whamo's Breast Slapping and Ass Whacking Emporium.
I figure you have to do more than just slap titties IN THIS ECONOMY so I'm branching out and will actually specialize with the ass whacking.
Feel free to wear whatever you'd like.
Slapping is out. I'm down with a little gentle kneading, however.
Bewbs are made up fatty tissue on top of your pectoral muscles. I fail to see how slapping the crap out of your bosoms will make them bigger.
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The first duty of an historian is to be on guard against his own sympathies ~ James Anthony Froude.
Oh my goodness, NO(!), Miss Uvula... no slappin of the nuts.... LOL
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Next time i slap someone in the face, i hold my hand out and say : That`s 10 bucks, you`re welcome.
She wouldn`t slap my titties. My kids elbow me in the tits every now and then and that`s bad enough.
My husband`s old barber used to slap the dogshit out of him after every haircut, maybe that`s what she was doing.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 7:46am.
Will it firm up low hangers? If so, I think I've got a pretty good client base and may open up shop... SLAP SHOP!
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LMFAO@ Slap Shop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaR4LcLbW8I&feature=related
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Oh dear God, my tits could never survive that kind of assault. One slap and I'd punch her in the temple.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Will it firm up low hangers? If so, I think I've got a pretty good client base and may open up shop... SLAP SHOP!
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
<"Over in the mythical land of Thailand">
LOL!
I love Thai food. My favorite.
*tries it on self*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm intrigued...
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What kind of fuckery is this?
And yea, they're bigger because they are swollen from having the living shit beat out of em... duh
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
I can haz peen slap?
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
LOL @ Whamo. Can it be that the breasts increases in size b/c of all the blood flowing thru or are they just swollen from abuse? Hey I wont knock Eastern medicine. Is there any method that can make me stop eating and lose weight?
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51+16 = LOVE
Um maybe the titties are bigger because they are swollen?
*slaps own titties*
Who'd she practice on, Simon Cowell?
Who'd she practice on, Simon Cowell?
I've been slapping titties for years but I never though to charge for it.
I find a little cream on them after a good slapping tends to help.