Saving The Most Gorgeous For Last
There's a really good reason for why I keep a piece of Sizzler's heart attack toast (aka what Paula Deen serves at communion) wrapped in my paper napkin until after I've stuck my mouth hole under the ice cream spout, because you should always save the best shit for a palate cleanser. And that is why I'm ending my Emmy coverage with the best grand finale possible: SPAZ DE LA HUERTA! Spaz is just like Sizzler's cheese toast. Well, more like a digested piece of Sizzler's cheese toast found inside of a corpse by a coroner during an early morning autopsy. Stunning.
The vodka sponge in Spaz's head must have forgotten about which cable show she's on, because her face came out in full support of The Walking Dead. I would say that Spaz should've finished off the look with leaves in her hair, a body bag cape and a toe tag, but she's a demure beauty who would never give us too much look.
Spaz also answered two very important questions that I know have been on your mind. When she puckered those lips (slathered in a lipstick shade called "Zombie Jizz") she answered the question: "What does a Chinese Crested's swollen anal glands look like?" And she also answered the question: "Do drunk zombies spray tan?"
It's okay to admit that Spaz's beauty has turned you into a full-on necrophiliac.
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From looking at the other pics of her face...it looks like she cries a lot. :(
Sonah22- Thank you for posting that pic, they always try to say she was some artsy punk rocker before. Yeah fucking right, like any real punk could look that clueless and squeaky clean (figuratively of course, you could fry a bushel of potatoes in her face grease).
awesome...Hollywood has another skinny drunk whore...oh and she's real tan too.
so unique...so special...so refreshing.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:05pm.
For a fitting tune ESE is our man,
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*blushes*... aw, shucks... you're a silly cow, but very sweet.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
How did she get here from here:
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/wa...
???
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"PLEASE...*gasping for air*....ADMINISTER HATE, STAT..." - Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 09/18/2011 - 5:31pm.
Paz' dress is beautiful, shame about the face ... In thumbnail 2 her lips look like dead slugs ... I haven't seen her act ... unless you count that short video for Agent Provocoteur where she managed to spead her legs and show her crotch whilst bending to retreive something from the floor ... amazing flexiblity, but I have to say I found her really offensive and tacky in that ad.
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"I'm sorry you feel that way ..... may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits"
For a fitting tune ESE is our man, for some great investigative reporting we can always count on Rusty.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Paz's bio. You can guess why she is who she is today:
http://nymag.com/movies/profiles/66284/index1.html
Kudos to her for giving hope to visually challenged hair stylists and mentally handicapped make-up artists everywhere.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
did she get plastic surgery? she's looking so much more feminine now.
she is like a delicate flower in a field of dead prostitutes...or something like that
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
As mediawhores go, she is one of the least offensive. Unlike Hilton, she has acting chops (she practically carried the rest of the somnabulistic cast in the otherwise awful "Enter The Void") and, unlike Lohan, has an actual career. If she stays on whatever constitutes the "straight and narrow" nowadays, she'll do fine.
Plus she seems fun.
Submitted by Myntee on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:04pm.
there's something wrong with this bitches face. I can't decide what it is
Is it her face?
Mr. IV thinks Spaz looks like Andy Samberg in drag.
She looks like she's been dipped in dry Nestle's cocoa.
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
Am I the only one that loves this woman? She is such a tequila bottle mess.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
I'm actually loving the hair!
says jack and jolene
@ Twats
"Thru The Fog -- this actress (and I use that term ever so loosely) is a cast member of "Boardwalk Empire." She plays a tramp (what a stretch, huh?) who gets naked on cue virtually every week. She's as ugly on the show as she is here."
Thanks for your time Twats. I would fcuking run this bitch over with my red Monte Carlo, I despise her that much! (Can I go to jail for just thinking it?)
Note to the Spaz bitch, if I ever see her in public, (very slim chance. LOL) I will go BJORK on her azz. AHHH....
Better now. :)
This thing is an ugly dude in drag!
I don't understand. Is she wearing GRAY lipstick?
I like her, she seems mischievous and fun, but I'd LOOOOOOOVE to do a makeover on her.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
there's something wrong with this bitches face. I can't decide what it is
- <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 -
I think mastication means to chew your own penis...
Thru The Fog -- this actress (and I use that term ever so loosely) is a cast member of "Boardwalk Empire." She plays a tramp (what a stretch, huh?) who gets naked on cue virtually every week. She's as ugly on the show as she is here.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:18pm.
Spanish (ahem) "royalty" don't wear eye makeup?
It's optional, like a fascinator.
Is she mentally deficient, possibly functionally retarded? I've already ruled out Idiot Savant.
Yay for the dress.
OMFGNO for the lipstick.
Convinced she's slapping on the worlds most hideous shade of lipstick on purpose for the sake of making it look hideous.
I'm a LAZY bitch, but can can someone tell me WHO DA FUCK THIS BITCH IS??? Sorry, "Kanye Caps". I can't stand looking at this slop jar ho. ugh!!!
I agree with most of you that the dress & shoes are gorgeous on her. So are her earrings, and the hair is quite nice too.
From what I can see, she is somewhat hip and edgy.... So why did she insist on doing her makup like freaking SNOOKI, of all people? She should fire her makeup artist, or hire one... whichever the case may be!
WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
SPaz will always be my eternal vermouth, tequila and johhny on the rocks sun drenched hero...
If only I could manage to fail so glamorously as well....
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/09/paz-de-la-huerta-came-disguised-...
I've seen better looking heads on unembalmed corpses.
I kind of like the hair, though not for an awards show.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:31pm.
Beautiful waste of dress on this piece of shit.
No shit, that dress is really cool and that shade of peachy/pink is beautiful.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
I'm starting to love this bitch!
Beautiful waste of dress on this piece of shit.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:17pm.
Maybe she was molested with fards.
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LMAO You are not right for that.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:17pm.
Maybe she was molested with fards.
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Hey now...I did NO SUCH THING!!! you leave me out of this ;)
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
As a Reno-ite I can say we still wouldn't have her.
" The thing about love is you're always at its mercy"
I'm sure Jon Voight just asked her why she and Brad didn't bring the kids.
We got rid of rumor willis, now can't she go away?
same type, girls who think they're hot shit, who def are NOT.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
She needs to get her makeup done professionally for these events. She looks like shit and that lipstick is gross. What is that huge phallic looking object on the table?
@Rusty, so, Spanish (ahem) "royalty" don't wear eye makeup?
This bitch needs to be slapped and by slapped I mean after she eats me out and let's me explore her holes with my fist. Someone one has to do it to teach this creature a lesson....
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:06pm.
I'll bet any amount of money that she was sexually abused as a child. That would explain a lot of her inappropriate, highly sexualized behavior all the time, alcoholism, need for constant attention, etc.
What I can't explain is the aversion to eyeliner and mascara.
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Maybe she was molested with fards.
I reckon she's another Histrionic. Her mother sounds like she was permissive and workaholic/self-absorbed, and her parents also split up. Perfect formula.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:06pm.
I'll bet any amount of money that she was sexually abused as a child. That would explain a lot of her inappropriate, highly sexualized behavior all the time, alcoholism, need for constant attention, etc.
What I can't explain is the aversion to eyeliner and mascara.
LOL. She's artsy Spanish royalty, dammit.
UBF -- LMAO at your description of what Spaz de la Whoreta smells like!!!
What about the dangling hair extension in thumbnail #8? That plus the dildo/purse and Chris Noth's expression = TRAINWRECK GOLD.
Here she looks more like Marilyn Monroe than Michelle "Not the Destiny's Child one" Williams on the cover of whateverthefuck magazine that was.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
She reminds me of this girl I was friends with in college.
She was the one I called my "good-time girlfriend" - in other words, the one who I did stuff with like performing lesbian makeout sessions on the sidewalk for frat-boys' entertainment/free hotdogs, going to sketchy afterparties where she would strand me all night and I would be forced to steal her Volvo to escape, dropping half full cans of beer out my dorm room window onto unsuspecting tailgaters, etc.
Anyway Paz seems like she'd be down for any and all mischief and I dig that about her.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
She's not even cute enough to be a restroom hostess/attendant. And them bitches iz pure fug.
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I will give you twenty-four hours to deliver that witch to me or I will personally eat, fuck and kill all three of you.
Those gray pumped lips look like they are about to fall off.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
I'll bet any amount of money that she was sexually abused as a child. That would explain a lot of her inappropriate, highly sexualized behavior all the time, alcoholism, need for constant attention, etc.
What I can't explain is the aversion to eyeliner and mascara.
@Echo27 - Sparks. Sparks, Nevada, casino cocktail waitress. Truck stop ho would also be successful for her.
But srsly, I love horz. I really do. However. I would not let her touch me or be within that range of my breathing space. I'm thinking valtrex prescription.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits