Open Post: Hosted By Lil Wayne’s Brazilian Idol

September 19, 2011 / Posted by:

If your pussy just clamp shut like it just heard John Mayer’s name and you can feel your uterus trying to shrivel down to the size of a bumblebee bat’s nutsack, that’s because your parts know exactly what’s going on in these pictures and they’re scared.

What you’re looking at are the exhausted faces of three woman with sweat shop wombs and Chapter 11 pussies who are staring at the fertile as fuck fool they wished they never let up into their sugar walls. That right there is what tired looks like when it puts on a house dress.

Guanabee introduces us to 90-year-old Brazilian farmer Luiz Costa De Oliveira who has overpopulated the world with at least 50 chirruns from 4 different women. When he’s not planting seeds, he’s planting seeds if you know what I mean. This dirty whore’s (or this “putito sucio” as my abuelita would probably say under her breath) made 17 children with his first wife Francisca. After Francisca died, Luiz met Maria Francisca and made 17 more babies with her. Maria Francisca must’ve been tired of her uterus trying to escape every time she took a piss, because she asked her sister Ozelita to come help her take care of her ten million children. You know what happened next. As soon as Ozelita stepped into the door, the bitch had a womb full of Luiz’s baby. They made 14 more tiny people together. 15 in total. The full fresh fuckery does not end there…

Ozelita asked her mother to come live with them and that old ho ended up spitting out one of Luiz’s babies too! So if you ever get a call from a Brazilian number you don’t know, back away from the phone like you’re in The Ring. It’s Ozelita calling and she wants you to come to Brazil to take one of the loads that Luiz is shooting out on the hour every hour.

But Luiz says that now that he has around 50 children and 100 grandchildren, he’s putting his deadly weapon back in the holster and retiring from his spawning days.

“I could have other children out there that I don’t know about because I’ve always liked making love. I don’t know all their names. I hardly make love anymore these days, even though I’m in good health. But I still remember how wonderful it is to be in bed with a woman.”

Luiz, his baby-making harem and his ten million children is what would happen if you put OctoMom, The Duggars, Kate Gosselin, Lil Wayne and KFed into a room together with nothing but IVF shots and a glimmer of a good time in their eyes. Nope.

Luiz has jizzed out a small principality and now he’s done. Luiz needs to zip up his dick hole and stay away from beds…and vaginas. Just stick your pinga in a bucket of Mountain Dew and don’t move.

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