Charlie Sheen Is Playing Nice Now

In case you missed it, below is the clip of Charlie Sheen at the Emmys last night awkwardly wishing his former co-workers at a Two and a Half Men nothing but good things for their upcoming season. Now, I'm going to tell Charlie Sheen the same thing I told a way-too-hot piece who talked to me at a bar once: You a suspicious bitch! Is this one of those What Would You Do? situations? Where's John Quinones? See what I mean:

No punchline. No joke. Just Charlie saying nice words while using his tongue to search his upper gum area for stuck coke bits. Now I know how the cops feel when they're interviewing Charlie in a hotel hallway knowing very well that he's hiding a decapitated hooker, a pregnant goat and a portable crack smoke sauna in his room. After Charlie uncomfortably did step 9 of The Twelve Steps in front of millions of people, he posed for a picture backstage with his replacement Hobo Yanni.

And where was Demi Moore last night? Demi actually stayed away from a field of cameras?! Talk about suspicious bitches. Either bitch is off getting her pulled head transplanted onto an 18-year-old's body AGAIN or unlike beard bichitos, Demi can't fake wanting to be near Ashton.

(Image via Twatter House of the Warlock Tiger)

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Hysteria on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:15pm.

I accidentally watched the new 2 and 1/2 Men. The writers are still doing a good job. But John Cryer has a lot to carry this season.

Don't know how long the naked Aston schtick can last.
.
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Submitted by HangryHippo on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 8:44pm.

i really thought there could only be one HOBO YANNI in this world...proved wrong yet again!

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by stefystef on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:43pm.

Charlie is a genius.
And this is Charlie's M.O. He fucks up, he cleans up, he comes out and puts on the "charming" act.
He sobered up. He does this all the time. I know folks would love to hate him, but I can't. He's not a bad guy, just a bit of a lovable prick.

BTW, I watched a couple of segments of Two-1/2 Men. The lack of Charlie is evident. Doesn't have the same rhythm.

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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11

Submitted by Puppy Love on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 5:14pm.

Carlos is lazy about his hairpiece--it could look much better and more real if he learned how to take care of it and comb it correctly. At least he doesn't have that floppy shit dangling in his eyes like he did during the last years of 2.5--that as much as anything screamed that he really didn't give a shit.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 5:08pm.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:35pm.

gettin' there... gimme a minute to get the B.A.C up to "blackout".

*saunters over to OP to post random music link*

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 5:05pm.

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:26pm.

Hahaha!!

How are you feeling? Any better? :)

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 4:56pm.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:19pm.

Sooo ... Demi Moore and Chris Martin were both on the missing list ... at the same time ...
*starts rumour*
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*runs with rumor*... *embellishes it to extreme*... *tells EVERYONE!!*... *prepares photo shopped pictures of Demi, Chris, and a Zebra in precarious, and damaging(but, yet... funny!) positions*

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by cheray on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 4:51pm.

Not loving the thick and lustrous roadkill sitting on top of Charlies head....
But good to see he is back on this planet and can function well enough.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 4:49pm.

Sooo ... Demi Moore and Chris Martin were both on the missing list ... at the same time ...
*starts rumour*

Submitted by cuntwhore on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 3:02pm.

Looks like Sheen inherited Winehouse Crackhive.

Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 2:51pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.
Where's Emilio been hidin'? Charlie should have marched on stage and said, "Hey Ashton, my brother fucked your wife back when she was still 75% original parts!! And the winner is..."

LMAO!

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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" --urmomma, 8/24/11

Submitted by Joeb on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:57pm.

Chuck wants to be taken back into the fold. But that can never happen. Any return will be financed 100% by Chuck, and when it comes down to it, even he will admit he's a bad risk.

And it appears that Demi has served her purpose and will have to go reality show shopping solo.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 1:12pm.

Still have my dig at Charlie. Didn't appreciate that Chucky was downright nasty at poor Ducky who is trying to bring in a paycheck week after week so his then-wife (or now ex-wife) didn't kill him. bwaaa..

Bitch was one click away from being featured on Snapped.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by K2 on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 12:37pm.

Where's Emilio been hidin'? Charlie should have marched on stage and said, "Hey Ashton, my brother fucked your wife back when she was still 75% original parts!! And the winner is..."
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OMG!Someone needs to be on Two and Half Men payroll! That is funny shit.

I think atleast one person would've wet themselves if that came out of his mouth.

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:40am.

Looks like someone's back on his meds.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Submitted by oh dave on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:36am.

Charlie has decided to let the crazy incubate for a while.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:25am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.

Where's Emilio been hidin'? Charlie should have marched on stage and said, "Hey Ashton, my brother fucked your wife back when she was still 75% original parts!! And the winner is..."
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HAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously, though, you could hear everyone crapping their pants in the pause after "I only have one thing to say".

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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by almostfamous88 on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:21am.

Oh whatever ya fucking crack head bastard

Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:56am.

Submitted by vsminimoose on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:48am.

I love how easily the crowd goes nuts for him. He took the high road (for his own benefit and career) and everyone claps like he's the most amazing man on the planet for getting up there and not acting like a coked-out psycho.
How about clapping for the people that never put themselves out of trouble or put themselves in the position to have to get up there and sheepishly clean up their messes to begin with.
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That bugs me too. He shows up sober and does the bare minimum of what would be expected of other people and we are supposed to pretend like this is some sort of gift. He ALWAYS gets a pass on wife beating,hookers,his criminal activity etc.

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:53am.

Sheen is tricky. Something's afoot. More importantly, how he survived that last year of madness is beyond baffling. Kudos to him for staying quick, being humble last night and seemingly sobering up a bit.

_____
Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
Halo2 "Heretic; Hero"

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:45am.

I want to take dull hedge-trimmers to Ashton's hair and beard.

Good for Carlos, even though he's doing it to get work. Speaking of upper gums, he needs a new tooth implanted to fill that gaping hole.

Submitted by Jeanneee on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:40am.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:05am.
"Hobo Yanni" LMAO

He looks like a guy who would sell you weed out a van with a big viking scene on the side of it.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA

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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

Submitted by Puppy Love on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:39am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.

THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT. LMAO!

...and Rob Lowe could have stood up, fist-pumped, and said, "FUCK, YEAH!"

Demi got around back in the day.

Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:35am.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:49am.

And Demi's been twatting nude's of herself.

Sorry, but wouldn't any husband be pissed off at his wife for posting NUDES of herself on the internet?

---Nah, the pictures were taken before the husband was even born.

Submitted by gina latina on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:25am.

Good to see him back on his meds and hosed down clean.

Now if only Blohan would follow suit...

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Iris Chacon, ahi viene!

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:24am.

How does that humble pie taste Charlie? Wow it must suck to have to grovel in front of millions.

I say Dummy is MIA because they are dunzo. Either that or she's post-op.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:21am.

What the fuck ever. All he did was realize his "winning" bullshit was a joke. He's a delusional, entitled asshole and it'll only be a matter of time before he's onto the next delusional, entitled asshole thing.

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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:19am.

And Demi's been twatting nude's of herself.

Sorry, but wouldn't any husband be pissed off at his wife for posting NUDES of herself on the internet?

Submitted by vsminimoose on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:18am.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:15am.

Demi and Ashton have not been seen together for MONTHS now. they are done.

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I'm in love, sweet love - hear me calling out your name, I feel no shame
I'm in love, sweet love - don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way
-Anita Baker

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:12am.

mbar - yeah, it wasn't what I thought it would be. But I was exhausted and looking for a mind numbing show to watch with the BH.

Submitted by mbar on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:11am.

@ M.E.

Thor was a POS movie though, so it was hard for me to enjoy it despite that Hemsworth guy. I liked that "bridge" thing though. I was like, "Ooh, pretty! I want a bridge made out of neon rainbow flashy thingy!"

Submitted by Versailles on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:06am.

So, I take it that Ashton is Amish now?

Submitted by BabyJane on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:02am.

I don't like this new suck-up Charlie. But I guess his meds kicked in and he realizes he needs a job.

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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:02am.

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:27am.
Eh, I'd still do Demi, retreaded parts and all.

Yeah Raul bets the pussy is still pretty good once you get passed the used part.

http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:58am.

Re-fuckin-programmed...zzzzzzzzzzzz

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:58am.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL! http://instantrimshot.com/

http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:57am.

I was too busy watching Thor last night to watch this mess.

The actor who played Thor is SMOKING fucking hot.

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:57am.

Eh, I'd still do Demi, retreaded parts and all.

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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:52am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich

Submitted by saltydog88 on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:52am.

"you a suspicious bitch" LOL

I totally went home with this way too hot, built Venezuelan guy and he had the biggest penis I've ever seen in real life...I should have been suspicious turns out he lived with his boyfriend who was at work. Then when I met the boyfriend he was straight up fugly (and worked at like TGIFridays so it wasn't the money). Very suspicious.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:50am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.

Bwhahahaha! I didn't even think about that. Geez, Hollywood is incestuous... Glad I'm not part of it.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by guest on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:50am.

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LOL. now that is exactly what he should've said.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:50am.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:17am.

He and Martin on are a media tour promoting a movie they made. I don't remember the name of it, but it's supposed to be very good.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:48am.

Ashton doesn't bug me. I don't really understand why people hate him so much, either. Yeah, Punk'd was obnoxious but it was also from like 8 years ago. I think he's a decent actor in mindless romantic comedies (What Happens in Vegas and No Strings Attached) and I thought he was really funny on That 70's Show. I'll probably watch his first episode of 2.5 Men out of curiosity.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:47am.

Where's Emilio been hidin'? Charlie should have marched on stage and said, "Hey Ashton, my brother fucked your wife back when she was still 75% original parts!! And the winner is..."

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:47am.

No one can ever replace Charlie Harper... especially ghey jesus up there... I'm going to tune in to the season premiere just out of curiosity.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011

Submitted by Raul Duke on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:46am.

Hey Kelso, YOU SUCK BITCH!

http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:43am.

Somebody is going through a rough little sober patch. But no worries, the Crackmonster shall return. All he has to do is cross paths with Lindsay Lohan.

Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 9:42am.

Ass kisser.

BH is going to give this new season a shot...but I'm sure he'll quit it soon after.