If you’re in the middle of eating lunch, just tell yourself this is an X-ray scan of a gut full of papas fritas or Flaming Hot Cheetos Puffs. If you’re in the middle of snorting lunch, then just tell yourself the truth and say this is an X-ray scan of a 20-year-old Irish drug mule who got caught trying to smuggle 72 bags of coke out of Congonhas Airport in Sao Paulo, Brazil. This is like a snapshot from White Oprah’s recurring wet dream. Nothing but hard bones and the bad shit.
The coke bag eater, who has only been identified by his initials P.B.B., was trying to get a kilo of coke to Brussels and was immediately shut down at the airport. Well, this dumb bitch’s days as a drug smuggler might be over, but he definitely has a career ahead of him in competitive hot dog eating and gay porn.
In other news, Lindsay Lohan was just seen snorting up the toilet water in the men’s room near the security checkpoint at Congonhas Airport.