These Messes | Dlisted

There definitely is a more creative and wittier headline out there (and it isn't coming from me), but that's the first thing I said out loud when I brought up these gorgeous portraits from the gutter. Then I went to pee (which stung, by the way, and I blame these pictures), sat back down and thought the same thing again. I was about to type "Look At What The Cat Dragged In," but that would've been factually incorrect on every level. I know some dirty skanky alley cats who consider a pigeon's anus as a meal and even they wouldn't put their mouths on either one of these bumbling busted bitches. It's like Courtney Stodden took her Dorian Gray portrait out for a 40. You decide which is which.

If you were in the Meatpacking District in Manhattan last night and were wondering why flies riding roaches riding rats were galloping through the streets in hoards headed uptown, it's because the living embodiment of Grey Gardens for the crack whore set came out to party. Just a mess. Lindsay Lohan looks like she's a shot away from spiraling into a drunk coma right there on the street while dumb-eyed White Oprah is too blinded by the fame to care.

LiLo: Um. Mom? The tequila went straight to my legs and turned them into worms. I'm just going to go mimi times on these strange looking tiny grey pillows.
White Oprah: HOLD ON TO YOUR 8-BALLS, BOYS! BAM! YES! BOOM!
LiLo: No, seriously, why is that man in a black hood carrying that thing the Grim Reaper carries winking at me?
White Oprah: THE NAAAAAAME ON EVERYBODY'S LIPS IS GONNA BE...WHITE OPRAH!
LiLo: Where am I? I see a bright light.
White Oprah: IT'S THE CAMERAS, BABY! FLASHING FOR ME...I MEAN...US. SPARKLE, KITTEN, SPARKLE!"

Seriously, White Oprah is Lucifer in Chinese Laundry heels.

That being said, White Oprah has never looked hotter. Well, her look is very "tired Regan-era call girl who got demoted to the morning shift but still shows up to the hotel bar at 8pm on Saturday night like she's prime shit."

And LiLo might look like she's about to pass out, but apparently she got some energy when she got inside the V Magazine party at The Boom Boom Room. This happened:

@womensweardaily Women's Wear Daily
Lindsay Lohan just threw a full drink at a boy at V magazine party who dared to snap her pic. #NYFW
11 hours ago via web

The boy was a photographer for V Magazine who added this (via ONTD):

@JasperRischen Jasper Rischen
Wow. Lindsay Lohan is as trashy as they always say. She threw drinks and glasses to me as we tried to take a shot for @vmagazine. C.u.n.t.
11 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

And then this happened:

@Styleite Styleite
And now people are bleeding at the @vmagazine party. Not sure what's going on, but it's at Lindsay Lohan's table.
10 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone

To clarify: girl left in an ambulance but looked OK. FDNY were calm, took their time. Didn't look like a suicide attempt, just an accident.
9 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone

Yup, still got it!

Fame Pictures, Splash

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by Bapril on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:51am.

Any Grey Gardens reference always makes my day.

LiLo: Mother wanted me to come down in pasties and a g-string so we had quite a fight.

WhiteOprah: LindsEEEEEE...oh, LindsEEEEEE...

Submitted by mizsherle on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 12:18pm.

Well cooked, skin falling off the bone.

Submitted by scallywagy on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 6:11am.

According to one of our sources it turns out that more than throwing glasses at photographers was going on. Apparently one young female reveler had an artery on her arm erupt after a jagged glass hit her arm, courtesy of a belligerent Ms Lohan.

At this juncture no one quite knows if Lilo is to blame, but one thing’s for sure the cops and emergency units came and had a very serious issue of a profusely bleeding guest. Judging from the pictures below, the cut looked fairly nasty (the carpet doesn’t look sweet either does it?).

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/09/did-lindsay-lohan-slice-up-a-fel...

Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 3:27am.

I agree the "hope she dies" shit is ridiculous. These pictures are really the first time I've actually felt sad for these people. Linds is obviously so far out to lunch right now she's probably on tons of prescription drugs at this point. I really doubt she will even remember this night and her mom looking totally sober and happy is chilling. This is the picture of denial and sadness. I agree with whomever said it doesn't seem like she has one person in the world who really cares about her well being. If your mother doesn't really care about your well being you are really in trouble. And yes, don't hang out with your weird mom, it's just weird.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

Submitted by HairyPotheadfan on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 2:16am.

Dina needs to be horse-whipped. She is no kind of Mother to her children. She is one of those sad old whores who uses her daughter for attention. I think she is a parasite....she has certainly sucked the life out of Lindsay.

***********************************************
Mel Gibson needs an enema.

Submitted by nightowl on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 1:02am.

I'm no longer rooting for this girl. If she isn't able to have a steady job in the entertainment business soon (includes having a line of perfumes, clothes, tampons, anything that she can put her name on) she might REALLY go off the deep end. It just might be a tragic end to her life.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Submitted by Nightowl:

I basically, like, literally wished that I had been here to conversate about this story, no pun ontended. Irregardless, I technically was reading all the proverbial posts, per se!

Submitted by Crustyina Fagulera. on Fri, 09/16/2011 - 12:36am.

Sadly, I'm sure they just walked out of a massive Masonic sex ritual where they drugged lindsay and creamed her bareback. All while her evil scum shit of a mother looks on, and sets up Ali's ritual.

Stay strong Lindsay.

Submitted by twitchy on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:26pm.

It's almost 2012 - why are we still reading about Lindsay Lohan? And why were we EVER reading about her mother? And her father? AND her sister?!?

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:41pm.

Submitted by caprica six on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:37pm.

Night, night, Cappy dear. I'm waiting for the BloHan train to crash and burn, but these bitches are true roaches. Clorox and poison only makes these hos stronger!

Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:38pm.

What in the fuck kind of fuggly shoes does that Lilo have on her hoofs?!

They're a scarey cross between hospital slippers, clogs, and devil shoes. blechhh.
.
.

Submitted by caprica six on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:07pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:14pm.

LaChaygirl,

This "family" will be one of those urban legends where a multitude of questions will/can never be answered. We just have to run with the mystery. Sort of like a Dr. Who series, but just stupider.

*lmao* ugh, fk! Goodnight/gmorning all. /crashes

_____
Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:44pm.

So many things:
1. Who keeps inviting her to their parties when she's a fucking mess? I'd have security make sure this bitch and her useless mother DON'T get in.

2. So, Bloho doesn't have a substance abuse problem, WO? Clearly, both of them are a couple of crackies and these are just more pics to prove it. Cue the bullshit WO press release about how they didn't have a single drop to drink that night, and why can't a mom and daughter go and bond at a party?

3. Was WO making out with the photographer or something, thinking SHE was going to be the one photographed, thus explaining her rat nest weave?

4. Where the fuck is Ali? Is she actually trying to be "serious" about her modeling career by staying away from these 2 prime fuckups? Or did they actually ID her ass?

5. When will people start ignoring their asses and antics? (Me included) We need Lohan-specific blinders, all of us. These shitheads need to disappear already.

Submitted by Dr. Dick on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:31pm.

No, Michael K--there is not a more creative or wittier headline. The headline says it all.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:23pm.

The laughing stock of Hollywood continues to make a complete ass out of her drunken self. Why can't she just get wasted and STFU!

In almost every news story about her now starts with "troubled actress" or even ex-actress Lindsay...

Submitted by cprincess on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:10pm.

Im speechless except to say is it too late to get Ali Lohan away from this ho?
What has happened to Blohan for christ sake?
shes got no chance at all…..

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by CORNDOG on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 6:27pm.

This is a sad sad sad story and it will not end well.

Submitted by caprica six on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 6:07pm.

These two are walking store-brand trash bags. And we all know they are trying to come out in public to distract us from Ali's continued cosmetic procedures. WE'RE NOT FKING FOOLED. Someone save Ali (she's at some N. Cali plastic surgeon's office entering OP.) SAVE ALIII

_____
Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e

Submitted by MsMeggin on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 6:01pm.

OMG. That is terrifying. Wtf are they thinking? I guess money can't buy class.

Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:48pm.

I can't believe WO feels no shame in standing there holding up her drunk/high daughter because otherwise she'd fall on her face from whatever she's been inhaling (her nose is on the verge of collapse judging from some upclose shots I saw somewhere).

WO should be fenced off and labeled a toxic waste zone and maybe these kids of hers would shape up.

Submitted by z-listed on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:46pm.

Somebody Stole Dina Lohan's Ass!
Or is it just in her head as usual?

(how's that for a headline?)

Submitted by KittenKatinCanada on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:45pm.

I love the second thumbnail where some drunken Mr. Wonderful-type-guy looks like he's trying to pick up WO. These two hags look like they stink of stale cigarette breath and desperation.

**************************************************

"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)

" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)

Submitted by modelspiceboi on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:40pm.

Before I read everyone's comments about Lilo and DiLo, I have to ask--Why does Lindsay look sober and put together and demure compared to her mother?

As much as I disapprove of Lindsay's antics and wish she would shape and focus on her career, I do love that there are still ne'er-do-well stars out there. Lindsay needs to hook up with some bad boy rockstar and be done with it.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:24pm.

So this is what the dayshift hookers get up to at night. I was wondering.

Submitted by Gweb on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:24pm.

"Regardless of all the crap they pull, they still give the impression that if you dated one of them you'd eventually get to fuck the other one and that, my friends, is all that matters. lol"

I'd fuck WO. Bet she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Submitted by Tracy Lynn on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:22pm.

Submitted by orangebella on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:23pm.

I would LOVE to hear what the paps say to blohan as they take her picture.

----

Dunno, but I sure hope this guy got paid extra for snapping those SLOW pics. lol

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 5:04pm.

By the way, were there any black kids to pin the flying glasses and alleged lacerations on? It's a fucking fashion party! The only minrotities there would be Russell Simmmons and Andre Leon, and both would hurl her bony Coppertoned ass out on to the pavement.

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:58pm.

It's nice to see Big Edie and Little Edie on a night on the town away from Grey Goose Gardens.

Submitted by not shocked on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:33pm.

If my mom ever dressed like a Cheetah's bartendress I would beat the living fuck out of her

Submitted by cake coke and cock on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:12pm.

the fuck is going on in thumbnail 8? These bishes just don't give a fuck anymore do they

-------------------------------------------------
Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.

Submitted by Chirio on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:07pm.

These two disgust me! arrrgh just looking at them makes me feel dirty. they need to be in a tub of chlorine arrrrgh they are so gross.

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:04pm.

Two middle-aged hags. They both turn my stomach.

**********
"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" --urmomma, 8/24/11

Submitted by Pap Junkie on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 4:03pm.

They are both hard core addicts which always comes with a massive dose of delusion

I almost feel sorry for these two dumb fucks

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:49pm.

Wonder if LiLo would sober up if they put White Oprah in jail. She has the body and mind of a chop stick. This is disgusting. Nasty horseshit. My eyes wants to vomit.

LOL@ ELB with the Charlie Sheen crack.

~~~~~~~~
I will give you twenty-four hours to deliver that witch to me or I will personally eat, fuck and kill all three of you.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:40pm.

Who wants to party with their parent? One time my dad and his girlfriend and I went to some bar/restaurant place and it was really weird. I didn't like seeing them drunk and it was more embarassing to get caught making out with a really hot guy by my dad than it was asking him to buy me some Kotex when I was 13.

Icky.

And it's supposed to be.

Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:33pm.

if this wasn't so fucking pathetic it would almost be comical...but first..what the fuck is up with her mother???? I mean no woman without an ass should be wearing that dress...it looks like she is basically wearing a hanger...and what is up with Hohan's knees...bitch is seriously lit and this cunt of a mother is not giving two shits or a fuck...this is so fucking sad more than anything else..this piece of shit mother actually thinks everything is okey dokey...just a matter of time before the jails, o.d.'s and body bags start arriving...fucking nasty cunts all of them..and you can take the Whoretrashians with you..they are worthless sluts too!!!

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:32pm.

What a couple of raddled whores.

Drunk, high, delusional, saturated with STDs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by justincase on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:02pm.

Ugly dress, ugly shoes, ugly mother, ugly lifestyle = has-been and shall not return.

Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 2:41pm.

Thumbnail 8 and 9 show the extent of Dina's parenting.

Even Stevie Wonder can see how trashed Lilo is.
So sad her mother is literally watching her child suffer before her eyes.

Can Dina be that much of a famewhore?

Still holding on to some hope Lindsay can get back, but it's looking grim.

Submitted by imabrat on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 2:04pm.

Have they no couth or braincells? It amazes me how they are so offensive and yet they seem totally oblivious. Are they just carrying on in the face of adversity? Or do they truly believe all is well?
What skanks.

Submitted by orangebella on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:53pm.

I would LOVE to hear what the paps say to blohan as they take her picture.
______
"Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." - Eric Cartman
❥

dont mind me just talking to the voices in my head's picture

Submitted by dont mind me ju... on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:12pm.

Oops....sorry for the dp's everyone

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"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !

Submitted by dont mind me ju... on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:04pm.

Wow....she's so fucked up WO has to keep her from falling down!! Poor dude trying sex up WO got cock blocked by Strawberry Snortcake, Mama had to go and keep baby girl upright and from doing a face plant!
Lol...so sad at times, but you just can't keep from laughing sometimes.
Hope this Judge will do something when she goes back for a new probation report. {o:
»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !

Submitted by liverwurst on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:03pm.

They look like sisters...and thats not a compliment.

Submitted by dont mind me ju... on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:09pm.

@liverwurst
Your avi looks so much like my little wire-haired doxie! So cute!!

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !

Submitted by dont mind me ju... on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:09pm.

@liverwurst
Your avi looks so much like my little wire-haired doxie! So cute!!

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !

Submitted by dont mind me ju... on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:08pm.

@liverwurst
Your avi looks so much like my little wire-haired doxie! So cute!!

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»
"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !

Submitted by sarah990 on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 12:49pm.

Anyone who attempts to smush a pap maggot is my new friend. Go team Lilo!

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Without the paps she would be working the night shift at KMart