Clint Eastwood Breaks His Legendary Silence On The Issue Of Gay Marriage

September 15, 2011 / Posted by:

FINALLY (served in a bowl of sarcasm)! Everybody who has been on the fence of gay marriage can hop off that fence and come to our fence (which looks like this and is way more fun) now that Clint Eastwood has said in so many words that he’s all for gays marrying other gays. Clint, who just finished directing that J. Edgard Hoover biopic, tells GQ (via Reuters) that gay marriage haters should just go ahead and replace their “I Hate Gay Marriage” lawn sign with an “I Don’t Give A Fuck” law sign.

“These people who are making a big deal about gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of … Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.”

You know, Clint is 81 years old and people who are 81 years old don’t give a fuck about much. When you reach the canned peaches for dessert phase of your life, you pretty much retire from giving a fuck. Let’s try out my theory by using canned peaches as an example since I already brought up canned peaches.

Hey, Clint, what do you think about some people putting light cottage cheese on their canned peaches?

“These people who are making a big deal about light cottage cheese on canned peaches? I don’t give a fuck about putting light cottage cheese on canned peaches! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of … Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.”

See. It works for everything.

But thanks for that “Go Ahead and Make My Gay…Your Husband” line, Clint! Now can you please make up for the fact that you ruined the movie version of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by writing a 10-part movie series based on the life and times of The Lady Chablis starring The Lady Chablis:

And please call it “Blue Is Not Your Color (Working Title: I Don’t Even Know That Bitch, Never Even Met Her)

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