Twatlight: Breaking Hymen made a number two on the internet last night by releasing its second trailer and not one second of it has scooted across my eye balls or ear drums. There really is no point. The only reason that Latter-day Saints lady wrote Twilight was so they could make movies, and the only reason the movies were made was so that there could be trailers for Nutty Madam to react to on YouTube. Nutty Madam is the throbbing clitoris of Twatlight. This much is true.
So why watch the trailer when you can BE the trailer and watch as Nutty Madam loses her virginity, gives birth, has a coronary, dies, turns into a ghost and gets spooked by her ghost reflection in the mirror all in the span of just a few minutes. Yes, Nutty Madam is definitely turning up the levels of ridiculousness and the panty putting pot pie she gives birth to might not be made of completely authentic ingredients, but it still wouldn’t be Twilight Trailer Day without her.
You know, sometimes when my spirit is broken and I feel like I’m trapped in the middle of a Sam Cooke song, I lift myself up by doing the following:
1. Bring up a Nutty Madam reaction video.
2. Mute it and make it full screen.
3. Take off all my panties.
4. Put on this song:
(Sidenote: Edward and that Jacob trick should really settle their feud with a dance off.)
5. Daaance daaaance daaaaance in front of Nutty Madam.
6. Allow my spirit to turn its frown into a smile as my hot naked dance moves send Nutty Madam on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
You should do the same. Doing this will take you higher faster than masturbating while eating ice cream will. Guaranteed! It will also leave you permanently dry in certain parts, but there’s a price for everything!