Jude Law’s Hairline Found!

Call off the hounds and cancel the order for your Detective La Toya Kit from Amazon, because the search for Jude Law’s refugee hairline has finally come to an end. Jude Law’s hairline has been on milk cartons everywhere for years now, but it finally turned up on the top of his lip and he worked that furry caterpillar as he left the Donmar Warehouse in London where he’s starring in the play Anna Christie. I guess Jude’s hairline and the rest of his head’s follicles decided they needed some time apart, so it moseyed on down south to spend some ME time alone.

Sometimes, an above-the-lip landing strip makes a dude look like a dirty panty sniffer who has to check in with the local authorities every time he visits a new city, but sometimes it makes a dude look like a non-paid extra in a burglary scene from a 1970s gay porn. Jude falls into the latter category, so it works for me. You should try to ignore the fact that Jude’s t-shirt duo looks like something your auntie would wear to the club and focus on the positive. Jude’s stache can exfoliate your upper ass area as he tosses ze salad. That’s some full service stuff right there.

You know, I’m going to stop making fun of Jude’s front head area, because it is very special and doesn’t deserve mockery from a bitter old bitch blogger. It can do something the rest of his body can’t do: not grow hair.