Earlier this morning, the earth stopped spinning for two seconds, because every titty-loving creature held their breaths and pulled down their chonies at the same time when the words “SCARLETT JOHANSSON NUDE PICTURES LEAKED” were stamped on the internet’s taint and BOOM! This is what everyone has been waiting for!
This is why wars are being fought! Every single fap has been a dress rehearsal for this moment! This is why peens get up in the morning! Etc! Etc! Etc! But then it happened, and nothing. Nobody put down their guns and started jacking. The world kept being a shit place. How do I really, really know? Well, I got up to pee this morning, then put on my way too-tight, ball-hugging shorty shorts, sat down in front of this laptop and out came some tardy for the party piss giving me a wet spot that I swear my mom’s bitchy cat is judging me for. I see a “You know, the litter box is just over there…” look coming from his prissy eyes. ScarJo’s nipple gracing the internet was supposed to stop shit like this from happening. We’ve been lied to!
But anyway, (NSFW unless you work for UNICEF) click here to see ScarJo’s nipple, ass and ugly wallpaper. TMZ says that the FBI is investigating this since the pictures were hacked from her cell phone by the same ho who hacked Vanessa Hudgens and MiserAlba. But the FBI don’t need to investigate this shit since this isn’t ScarJo. It’s obviously Not Blake Lively.