What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This (I’m Pointing At Beyonce)?

September 13, 2011 / Posted by:

You can tell me that inhaling asbestos popcorn from my mom’s ceiling has turned me sensitive to the struggles of basement dwellers and shit, but I’m still going to say that I actually like everything on Solange from the top of her small-sized Troy Polamalu weave to her Salvation Army bin pumps. (Don’t spray me with insulation foam!) It makes me want to watch some Nick at Nite circa early 90s (not the shit they show today). It’s very “going to a fondue/key party at The Lindstroms.” But Beyonce on the other hand…..

What in stacks of waffle cups hell is that skirt?!

Beyonce is OBVIOUSLY carrying the golden child in her sacred womb and yet she desecrates her bump by making it look like the shower section at Bed, Bath and Beyond?! That mess looks like a giant loofah sponge wrapped in torn pieces of a white shower puff. To make a few extra coins, Basement Baby should’ve used Beyonce’s skirt to scrub the calluses out of a ho’s feets and wipe their jam off with that white part. That skirt is definitely missing some dead foot skin and boil bits. Basement Baby’s Sidewalk Pedicure Shop! Even my ass would stand in line for that.

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