FYI: Tom Hardy Has Never Done Butt Sex With A Dude

September 13, 2011 / Posted by:

Tom Hardy made fap-tasies interesting for gays and admirers of man-on-man fuck action when last year he said that in his 20s he slapped his peen on man asses, lady asses and any other kind of asses that twerked for him. But then Tom quickly took it back and said his words were twisted around to make it sound like his peen lips have touched more prostates than vaginas. And now in an interview with Marie Claire UK (via Radar Online), Tom wanted to clarify that shit more and said his dick sucking lips have never wrapped around a dick and he’s never experienced that awkward feeling of quickly pulling his peen out of a clenched man ass after busting an O. Tom put it like this:

“It’s just a shame things are misconstrued and I don’t get the opportunity to explain. I have never put my penis in a man. I’ve never had a cock in my arse, and I have no fucking desire for it. If that’s what you like, cool. But it doesn’t do it for me.”

So what Tom Hardy is really saying is that he’s a member of The Mouth is a Mouth Club and will stick his dick in any glory hole without asking any questions. Good for you, bitch. But sorry, Tom, I can’t respect you as an actor and artist until you get into full blown anal complete with poop noodle. But I still want to climb up to your bald head, paint a urethra on top of it and then flick at it. Seriously, that head needs some trompe l’oeil dick lips.

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