Xtina’s lips are shaking off at 5 layers of red spray paint while she uncertainly sits at her place at the head of the Red Lipstick Mafia table, because look who stepped out in NYC the other day wearing a fightin’ shade of lipstick. With just a simple swipe of red lipstick, Suri Cruise let Xtina know that she’s coming for her while leaving Chelsea Piers with Stepford Katie. Suri also let the fashion hos know that no, she’s not going to sit front row at their silly shows, because she can teach them a thing or twenty about chic shit glamour, not the other way around.
I mean, only the head stylist of The House of Hubbard can pull off an ensemble made of Six LeMeure’s first day of high school hat, Tommy Girl’s favorite full-length night shirt, one of her mom’s old escapin’ scarves, a signature scary ass doll and a purse that looks more expensive than a diamond-encrusted Birkin bag. It’s as if a gaggle of gays taught Suri everything she knows. Oh, wait.
As for Stepford Katie’s homely ass, bitch needs to turn around and listen to THIS SIGN. This bland bitch is a tragedy in denim coochie cutters and needs to leave looking fashionable to the professionals. Like her 5-year-old daughter.