At last night’s TIFF premiere of The Ides of March, Stacy Keibler’s temp job as George Clooney’s piece of the moment officially started. I’m sure Stacy got a passing grade during her first day on the job review since she followed the two rules: try to look as hot as possible and swallow the word “marriage” if it ever tries to crawl up your throat and jump out of your mouth.
While wearing a 90s black velvet dress from the archive closet of Contempo Casuals, Stacy posed by herself on the stroll and kept her words to a minimum when hos asked about George. Like when People asked her what she liked about George, all she said was this:
Good answer, bitch. The professional trainers in the Hos of George Clooney Division at the Manpower temp agency trained her well. But the Miss Cleo in all of us (and there is a Miss Cleo in all of us) knows how this is going to play out. Stacy is all smiley and quiet now, but it’s only a matter of time before she starts to get bold and casually lets out the danger word that forces George’s b-hole to push out the strap-on and snap for security to bring empty cardboard boxes for her shit. Then before she knows it, Stacy is standing in the hallway of The George Clooney Halfway House For Dumped Girlfriends waiting for Sarah Larson to hang up the payphone after she finds out if her manager at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone is going to give her another shift.
Milk that shit while you can, Stacy. It’s obvious who George is really going to end up with. No, not Brad Pitt. I’m talking about this loyal homegirl right here:
Your mama is going to make George Clooney happier than anybody ever could!
Here’s more from last night’s Ides of March thing. In order: Stacy Keebler Elf, The Clooney, Ryan Gosling with his mama, Evan Rachel Wood (thinking she’s Madonna at the end of the Open Your Heart video), Dave Matthews, Marisa Tomei and Kate Mara with Max Minghella.