Speaking Of Wigs And Fries....

As John Travolta kept wigs off of his head and fries in his mouth on the West Coast, Aretha Franklin showed him how a queen really does it by wearing a wig made of seasoned curly fries on top of her head in NYC. You should be bowing to Queen Aretha's "Goldilocks ate the Three Bears" look the same way her magnificent chichis are bowing down to the halo of golden ringlets hovering carefully above her hairline.

I bet every damn fashion designer showing at Fashion Week is heeling themselves straight in the taint (it can be done with stretching and squatting) for not matching their models' hair to their necklaces the way Aretha did. When supposed "fashion icon" Kate Middleton wears a necklace of mouse fur dipped in dishwater, you know where she it got from. ALL HAIL!

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by TropicalTangerine on Mon, 09/12/2011 - 8:08pm.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Aretha Franklin but "You should be bowing to Queen Aretha's 'Goldilocks ate the Three Bears'" made me literally laugh out loud.

I appreciate your wit so much MK. You make my shitty days so much less shitty.
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Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe

Submitted by MizRo on Mon, 09/12/2011 - 9:14am.

Agreed BJH. Her voice is the only impressive attribute.

Submitted by jsl48813 on Sun, 09/11/2011 - 5:04am.

I gotta believe that she's got at least 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in that serioiusly fashionable bag of hers.

Submitted by Baby Jane Hudson on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 11:38pm.

No doubt Miss F is a music legend BUT she is also legendary for her cheap ASS ways. No she doesn't BUY the cheap stuff, Miss F. likes to take things and worry about the paying for it later, if ever. Several lawsuits have attested to this. I can't stand celebs that think they don't have to pay the little people. She is a diva and that is not a compliment. Countless accounts exist of her nastiness to fans. Maybe her recent health troubles have changed her attitude.

Submitted by fleawatch on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 11:54am.

That hair now proves that Aretha Franklin is in fact a distant relative of Benjamin Franklin...

Submitted by Zilly on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 10:28am.

She should have pulled the wig down a bit, then we wouldn't see the roots of her real dark hair

Did she have a gastric bypass?

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 9:32am.

Aretha Franklin is the Queen of Soul and I don't care if she walks outside buck ass nekkid shellacked in baby oil and doused with glitter...

she can do whatever the fuck she wants!

Respect your elders!

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Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 9:23am.

I see her for the legend that she is, but she's never struck me as a likeable person.

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 9:14am.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 9:26am.

I don't get it, how are you a legend of music a, "diva", "The Queen" but your people let you walk out the house looking like you bought your wigs off the clearance rack at Sally's-not even Sally's, the Korean weave store in the hood!Get your ish together Miss Aretha. I don't care who you are, there is no excuse for this mess.

Because everyone is afraid to say no to her is my guess.

There is none better then old school Aretha. Respect, Think, Chain of Fools are the ultimate girl-power anthems. No one today can hold a candle to her.

Submitted by Saix on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 8:50am.

@ little_rascal

The racist poster Madeline Ashton is Fraggle - Angela - pip - Abby Normal - Mrs. Doubtfire - Lucky McKee - Zombie Apocalypse - 100 others.

----

Aaah, so it's one of -those- special peoplez. Gotcha.

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 8:38am.

She's still, fat, ugly and gross. And she needs to ditch the blond "hair".

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www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 8:40am.

Submitted by Saix on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 8:39am.

Submitted by Madeline Ashton on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 1:29am.

Bitch is an nappy headed, fug negroid, putting on a "Shirley Temple" white wig is the ultimate in hilarity.

Don't forget yo' EBT cards, hobag negroids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NzspsovNvII

LMFAO!

------------

I'm terribly sorry for the news I am about to inform you of:

Dear sir, dear ma'am,

the attempts to be funny, witty and fearless has sadly failed. However, you have been granted and promoted to become idiot troll of the month.

Congratulations. May your internet access get cut off forever for your own sake as well as the rest of humanity.

Best regards.

======================================

The racist poster Madeline Ashton is Fraggle - Angela - pip - Abby Normal - Mrs. Doubtfire - Lucky McKee - Zombie Apocalypse - 100 others.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 8:27am.

She can do no wrong in my book. In fact, I kind of like it when she's a hot mess. It makes her a little more interesting.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:56am.

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by Cindyloo on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:24am.

She had to have had GBS or did she lose the weight like Star Jones did with lots of pilates.

________________________________________________
"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."

Submitted by Cindyloo on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:24am.

She had to have had GBS or did she lose the weight like Star Jones did with lots of pilates.

________________________________________________
"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."

Submitted by April on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:19am.

She's Aretha Franklin for f*ck's sake! She can look any way she wants.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:18am.

also, MK so right as usual .. the hair/necklace dance is so damn right and perfect, hell it's Fred & Ginger ..

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by Saix on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:09am.

Submitted by Madeline Ashton on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 1:29am.

Bitch is an nappy headed, fug negroid, putting on a "Shirley Temple" white wig is the ultimate in hilarity.

Don't forget yo' EBT cards, hobag negroids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NzspsovNvII

LMFAO!

------------

I'm terribly sorry for the news I am about to inform you of:

Dear sir, dear ma'am,

the attempts to be funny, witty and fearless has sadly failed. However, you have been granted and promoted to become idiot troll of the month.

Congratulations. May your internet access get cut off forever for your own sake as well as the rest of humanity.

Best regards.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 7:08am.

I'm just so glad she didn't die from all that medical crap a while back, and seems to have a bit more awareness of taking care of herself.

And god yes, some foundation garment expertise, stat!

Luvz you Aretha. One of the handful of true legendary talents on this planet. And of course I even forgive you for that show 15 years ago when you were an hour late and phoned it in. THAT'S how much I love and revere you.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 6:43am.

Not only does her wig look like curly fries, but her necklace looks like potato chips.

Submitted by Dallas on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 6:17am.

Uretha, I am begging you to run, don't walk to the nearest Nordstrom lingerie department!! Have a nice, sweet salesperson FIT you with a proper bra. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to have your tits hanging down around your waist....NONE!

Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 6:00am.

Submitted by Madeline Ashton on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 1:29am.
Bitch is an nappy headed, fug negroid, putting on a "Shirley Temple" white wig is the ultimate in hilarity.

Don't forget yo' EBT cards, hobag negroids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NzspsovNvII

LMFAO!

=============

Hi everyone, Angela is back, being unfunny and unwanted as usual.

Too bad that this is the only way that you can get attention. You attempt to write funny stuff, claim a bad childhood caused by a mean mommy, write about your husband abusing you, even post on here about contemplating/attempting suicide, and no one here gives a shit. Now it's the race crap? You only got me responding, which is just to let people know that Madeline Ashton is yet another one of your alts. You went on the OP and were completely ignored. Failure on here as in real life. You're almost pitiable.

Submitted by contrario on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 5:15am.

She wants you to know that she has money. That's why she's wearing two wigs.

Submitted by Haribo on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 4:35am.

Edgeofnight, is that aretha in your avie????

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by edgeofnight on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 3:54am.

With her money, I'd get a stylist, a gastric bypass, and some cosmetic surgery to get rid of the sag and to perk up her face a bit.

Submitted by Mother Superior on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 3:12am.

OMG stay away from the the Mighty Burberry Umbrella! It is used to shield celebrities and is known for its magic paps-repellent qualities!

Submitted by yucko on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 2:14am.

Yeah... I think she's gained weight back, from however many months ago it was that she was losing.

Anyone else think her mouth looks weird? Maybe she needs a mouth lift, along with the breast lift (reduction, neck lift, etc. etc.).

Submitted by Nanners on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 1:52am.

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 3:08am.
If Aretha realy lost all that weight she needs to RUN (not walk) to the nearest plastic surgeon to get about 200 yards of excess hanging strech marks removed!
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Copy that. Also a breast reduction or a better damn bra.

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What kind of fuckery is this?

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sat, 09/10/2011 - 1:38am.

If Aretha realy lost all that weight she needs to RUN (not walk) to the nearest plastic surgeon to get about 200 yards of excess hanging strech marks removed!

Submitted by Anonymous101 on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:58pm.

That wig and necklace are a hot mess, but she does look like she's starting to lose the chunk. Good for her! Hope her health is improving b/c of it.

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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the

Submitted by fleawatch on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:48pm.

That damn John Clees in drag, he gets in every photo op!

Submitted by jsl48813 on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:35pm.

hey.. i saw the picture and at first thought urethra had a bunch of chicken nuggets strung around her neck. it's like survival food. plus i thought i read or saw somewhere that she'd slimmed down to a healthy 250 pounds. she looks chunked up again.. i guess the lap band didn't take.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 9:53pm.

Forget about that wig. What is Brooke Shields slightly overweight sister doing there?

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by TANGELINE on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 9:37pm.

Queen Rita ain't gotta do shit to please y'all...
She's gonna be 70 years in a few months, give Mamma a break!!
Besides Queen don't give a F*ck!!

Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:35pm.

All it means is she wants to live a little longer.

All this why don't Aretha do this or that. Leave the Queen alone. She's blessed the world with her magnificent talent. She ain't gotta be beautiful or thin or have perky tits, the music she's done is enough.

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:21pm.

Yes, but…

Why go to all the trouble of losing 600 pounds (courtesy of diet and exercise), only to dress like Moms Mabley? Doesn't the weight loss (from diet and exercise) indicate that Aretha does, indeed, give a shit?

Just like a circus

Submitted by Ford_Prefect on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:16pm.

TEAM ARETHA!

Love how the queen doesn't give a shit. That's when you are really famous.

~*Lets go to my room pig!*~

Submitted by warmislandsun on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:03pm.

Oh, and Spanx is missing a marketing opportunity here!

Submitted by warmislandsun on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:02pm.

I love the matching accessories - wig and jewelry.

But, the Queen of Soul needs a new damn bra. Ouch - just looking at her makes me chest hurt.

Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 6:42pm.

Somewhere Della Reese is in alley, on the ground, chubby legs splayed, rubbing the rising bump under her stocking-covered pate from where Aretha clocked her and stole her wig. Sads.

Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 6:20pm.

Long live the Queen!

Submitted by kissingassandcu... on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 6:05pm.

Love her but can she get a better bra? Honestly I think it's hilarious as fuck how little of a shiit she gives. I am just curious if a better bra would actually even work though.

Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.

Submitted by Lory on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:57pm.

AZÚCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!

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Let me dirty up your mind.

Submitted by putas on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:48pm.

I think she'd be beautiful if she got the boulder lifted and reduced a little. neck situation sorted out.. I like her she always looks like 'eh, whatever'. Not self conscious and preening at all. Then again it's b/c her fame is due to her TALENT and not a reality show.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:38pm.

Looks like Aretha simply grabbed a store mannequin wig and slapped it on without even looking...

That is a sad day for the wig makers of this world.

Submitted by mbar on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:32pm.

Submitted by Jintess on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 6:11pm.
Ahahahaha! I LOVE the chick behind her. That expression just screams "Imma waddle home and call everyone I know and tell them to see my picture!!"
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Yeah, she's gonna be like, "Hey. Yeah, it's me. Anyway, I'm calling to let you know I'll be on the internet tonight, in the background of picture of Aretha Franklin. Yeah, the one with huge tits. Alright, bye."

Submitted by Stan Dup on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:29pm.

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 6:54pm.

Beyonce really needs to stop with the bump padding already, damn.

Hahaha. Those Beyonce wigs probably aren't cheap! Show them what your made of Aretha...it's good to see you.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:28pm.

I think that might be the full length version of Galliano's pincurl weave.

(I love Aretha and don't actually care what cheap assed polyester wig graces the hallowed head of the Queeen of Soul. Just glad to see her up and about again.)

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:24pm.

Beyonce really needs to stop with the bump padding already, damn.