The National Enquirer Thinks This Little Bromance Is Suspect

September 9, 2011 / Posted by:

While everybody is whispering about how Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith’s contract is about to head for the shredder, the latter is not staying at home weeping into his Scientology-approved cry cloth (aka Tommy Girl’s butt). The National Enquirer (via C+D) is keeping one eye on the blossoming bromance (that sounds like the name of an entry Gay Al Reynolds would submit into the Miami Flower Show) between Will and singer Trey Songz. They say this might not be a Big Brothers of America situation and seem to think there’s a chance Will is popping Trey’s butt pimples with his pelvis. As Scientology audit machines combust and Jada’s favorite strap-on makes a sad…..

A source says that last month in Miami, Will and Trey not only sat next to each other at a charity event (Clutch your anal pearls!), but they also went to dinner together the night after (Clutch your anal pearls tighter!). One of Trey’s friends, record executive Troy Taylor, kept the flame on that rumor going by telling the Enquirer that his lips are sealed about their relationship:

“I know that Trey and Will have been friends for a very long time, but I can’t speak to the nature of their relationship. It’s none of my business.”

“I can’t speak to the nature of their relationship” is a shady gossip queen’s way of making the blow job gesture with just words. You know that after those words came out of Troy’s mouth, he humped the inside of his cheek with his tongue tip while blowing an air kiss with his eyes. If you put a magnifying glass up to the space between those lines, you’d find this line staring back at you: “They’re lapping up each other’s ass juices. The end.

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