I Can't Look At You Anymore, Tom Brady
It's already hard for me to look at Tom Brady, because he has the exact same haircut as the little snide bitch in my 2nd grade class who asked me if I had vagina (Which dim dumb me said "yes" to, because I wasn't really sure what a vagina was. The junior twat got me that time.). But now I really have to make my lids hug my eyeballs whenever I see him on the street (since I always see Tom Brady on the streets of real life), because his full name and soul print now shows up on ADP's payroll list of all of Satan's employees!
Hell's second footwear of choice already siphons out the spirit of Midwestern tweens and whory Malibu moms (who wear that mess with coochie cutters and see-through cotton shirts) through the bottom of their feet, and now they're going after men. And Tom Brady is helping them to carry out their dork-sided (Never 4 Get God Warrior) plans!
With a precious bob haircut like that, Tom should be using his beauty to sell Dutch Boy Paint, Easy Bake Ovens or Subarus. Not whoring for Illuminatiwear. But the only thing keeping me from switching out Tom's pomade with gel made from the Blood of Christ is the fact that he's never actually seen wearing UGGs in that commercial. Maybe a centaur of the ninth circle is his UGGsdouble. And by a "centaur of the ninth circle" I mean Gisele.
via HuffPo
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I love my Uggs and my Crocs. Love Tom's hair here. Hate Tom, and deteste Gisele.
Thanks, but it's no with the Missing Link.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
i don't hate the hair cut. didn't askars have a similar cut at one time? thought it was fine then and still do now.
in fact this h/c on tb looks way better than the flippy grown out longer bob he had. it wasn't rock n roll it was just the in between stage do.
looking mighty tasty, i would...and i usually find him repulsive.
Submitted by Yomy on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:24pm.
All of us would hit that. We'd hit that if it was wearing uggs sheepskin dick bags and so would MK! Don't lie bitches...
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No, not all us, certainly not me. I never liked that tool. In the video he looks a little too pleased that he can walk and talk at the same time. He is so in love with himself I don't know why he bothered getting married.
Tom Brady can wear and do whatever the fuck he wants to wear and do. He's gorgeous, sexy, plays a brutal sport at the highest possible level, has brought THREE Super Bowl championships to NE, always says the right thing, and never throws his teammates under the bus (unlike horse-face Peyton Manning).
He also handles the idiotic Boston sports media with aplomb and never lets on how stupid they are or how asinine their questions to him may be.
The man may not have always made the best choices in ad campaigns or magazine spreads (see: posing with the goat in GQ) but that's ok. As a NE Patriots fan, I fucking love the guy.
All of us would hit that. We'd hit that if it was wearing uggs sheepskin dick bags and so would MK! Don't lie bitches...
Troglodyte.
After he got with that Giselle lady, he's turned ugly and his game has declined. :O
I think Mrs. Patrick Campbell is correct about the minor plastic surgey. He does look like he has work done. I always cheer for the opposing team to sack his ass. He gets preferential treatment from the officials and it makes me gag.
Uggs don't need a commercial. Those (of us - yes, ME!) who love them know where they are and how to get them...kinda like drugs.
But what is he running/white-boy dancing away from on the sidewalk? A spider? A bug? Doggy-doo? I'm confuzzled.
Funny thing is Giselle is going to age about as well as Sarah Jessica.
And he wonders why his team mates rarely protect his from being sacked.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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Nice to see his hair transplant "took" during the offseason.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:24am.
Tom has had a bit of 'make me pretty but don't let anyone know' cosmetic surgery.
Tom is very pretty but, sadly, has 'tinymeat-face'.
Discuss!
Well, I really think there is nothing left to discuss here, I would agree with your take on the Tom Brady situation. I would also take it a little further and state that his wife, on the other hand, has extremely large sizemeat-face and I could see if it was discovered that she/he is working a mean tuck. Horses generally have large dicks, no?
Ashton Kutcher was on Letterman last night, with the same dorky haircut and a skeevy beard. A confused Dave kept asking, "Why is Dan Fogelberg here?"
The camera angles in this made me sickly. Kind of like when my first live in played Goldeneye 24-7 and I would get sick if I watched him play....
Don't make fun of my man. I don't give a shit what kind of shoes he wears.
And I love Uggs, sue me.
Oh...I thought that was Pete Wentz.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:57am.
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a pussy whipped man, no time to talk"
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stuck. in. my. head. DICK
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Why do I get the feeling that Tom Brady is being "groomed" by Gis and a team of Stylists, for something...oh....maybe....POLITICAL???
I smell a Young Republican thing here....the hair, the boyish grin, the happenin footwear. This boy is being packaged to the public....he has the money, the looks, the hot model wife, adn a complete lack of intelligence.
Like a big bowl of steel-cut oatmeal. It will push out those baby-back ribs you had for dinner last night - but you won't enjoy it.
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:34am.
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I got nuthin but..... Hi Doggie!
*waves and sits the fuckback down*
He looks like a serial killer in this commercial. You know, the nice quiet handsome type who has a bunch of bodies in the fridge.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:57am.
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a pussy whipped man, no time to talk"
^^^^Bwhahahahahahahaaha!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Douchechill!
HE'SSSSSSSSSSSS NOTTTTTTTTT AHHHHHHHHH CHRISTIANNNNNNAAAAHHH
In the NAME AHHHH OV Jebus Chryst
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:44am.
Haha, I'll get you pictures: one of when she finds out I'm not packing at all; and another of when she dumps me and runs back to "tinymeat Brad Pitt."
I can't hate. He is so drool-worthy in that video. He's looking much more studly there than in my avie.
ITS MASTURBATION EYES. ONE EYE ON DOOR & OTHER ON DICK
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LMFAO! that's great.
"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a pussy whipped man, no time to talk"
That is the WORST commercial EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and his hair ... NO WORDS.
I'm torn between wanting to hit it before all of the hot finally gets sucked out of him by his emasculating wife and being a little repulsed by what a peanut-brained drooler he looks like he probably is.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:34am.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:24am.
Tom is very pretty but, sadly, has 'tinymeat-face'. Discuss!
Marry me, please, and change your name to Mrs Lucifer Sam.
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If the two of you marry, we will expect pictures from your wedding night.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
He definetly had some hot to him once
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t135/sarahmegan2011/Tom-Brady.jpg
I never thought he was hot at all but I know women who do and I can officially say that Giselle has sucked the hot right out of this Golem-looking piece of fug.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:24am.
Tom is very pretty but, sadly, has 'tinymeat-face'. Discuss!
Marry me, please, and change your name to Mrs Lucifer Sam.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:24am.
Tom is very pretty but, sadly, has 'tinymeat-face'.
Discuss!
I bought Aaron Rodgers for 43$ in my fantasy football league because of his sizemeat-face.
Submitted by Jeanneee on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:26am.
He's giving me LSU frat boy who failed out of school and now sells pot to support his crippling inhalant habit and maybe also molests other people's pets... vibes in this.
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AGREED
*hides asthma spray and pet lizard from TommyHoles*
Don't know/care who this person is but his face looks like a mask.
I always thought he was"light in his loafers." Having Ugg ones proves it. Go Steelers.
I'd like to know what he did to get that head of hair, considering he was, you know, balding just a few years ago.
Hopefully he doesn't come down with Mercury Poisoning during the season.
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:22am.
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:20am.
What is going on with his eyes? One looks here and the other goes there.
ITS MASTURBATION EYES. ONE EYE ON DOOR & OTHER ON DICK.
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LMMFAO....I am so gonna call my DH this next time I catch him in the act
I HATE THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!
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You're under arrest, sugar!
SMH. I've never liked him, but at least before Gisele, he wasn't embarrassing himself all over the place with stupid commercials and hipster hair.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
He's giving me LSU frat boy who failed out of school and now sells pot to support his crippling inhalant habit and maybe also molests other people's pets... vibes in this.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
I'm not wasting my bandwidth, so I can't be sure but GOT DAYUM this dude is FUG. How was he ever considered hot?
Tom has had a bit of 'make me pretty but don't let anyone know' cosmetic surgery.
Tom is very pretty but, sadly, has 'tinymeat-face'.
Discuss!
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:20am.
What is going on with his eyes? One looks here and the other goes there.
ITS MASTURBATION EYES. ONE EYE ON DOOR & OTHER ON DICK.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
He looks kind of... primate-ish.
That commercial is so GHEY!
I like TB as a player but I just get skeeved out thinking that his wife uses him as her personal Ken doll.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
What is going on with his eyes? One looks here and the other goes there.