Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Joy Tomkins, the 81-year-old memawmaw from Downham Market, Norfolk in England who is making sure that doctors don’t throw one eye toward a trachea tube when her soul starts to slowly tip toe out of her body to take the escalator going all the way up.

Grandma Joy says that she’s already got a living will that states to keep all resuscitation stuff away from her body, but she got the words “Do Not Resuscitate” inked into her chest just in case the paper work gets lost in the files or some shit. Joy is not playing around and told the Mirror that both of her children will do everything they can to make sure her wish is granted. Joy, who has arthritis, Raynaud’s disease and diabetes, said this about her tattoo:

“I do not want to be half dead, I want to be fully dead. I’m afraid the medical profession will, with the best of intentions, keep me alive when I don’t want to be alive.

I don’t want to lie for hours, months or even years before dying. I do not want to end up as a vegetable. I don’t want my family to remember me as a lump. That is why I got the tattoo. I don’t have a death wish I just don’t want to be kept alive in pain.”

A rep for the General Medical Council said in so many words that Joy’s tattoo is just to show that she’s a hardcore bad ass who is not the one today, tomorrow or whichever day her body is ready to go, because it’s not legally binding and even if she had a notarized tattoo next to it, the doctors will still have to ignore it.

And if Grandma Joy just so happens to collapse face down, she took an extra step to make sure that the doctors don’t try to revive her by giving CPR to her butt. Please turn over, first!

Just to really make sure her tattoo is taken seriously, Grandma Joy should’ve added next to it:”*raises a pocketbook toward your face* What the hell did I say, child?

The first thing they should teach in medical school is to always follow the tattooed stage directions of a pocketbook-wielding bad ass memaw.

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