Friday, September 9th 2011
That Box Of Pixels Is Way Too Generous
No. That headline is joking (no, it's not). Whichever line on the wooden ruler Ashton Kutcher's dick tip touches is between him and those nude colored chonies he's wearing. But I wouldn't say you were lying if you said that Ashton's peen is 5lbs of sugar in a 15lb pixelated sack.
Acting out the beginning of the classic joke "a nekkid douche Jesus and a happy lesbian walk into a green room," Ashton brought his nipples out for Ellen Degeneres in an episode of her show airing sometime next week. That box of pixels would look a lot better if it floated up and covered that mangy curled squirrel around his chin, but I still have to give this dick bag credit for selling a show the right way. WITH NIPPLES! MAH BOO, take note!
via People
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It's official: I'm done with my pleasurable visit.
SANS FARDS, did you catch Dave Grohl on Letterman the other night, explaining his comment in your sig (which is the first place I saw it--bless you!).
He didn't back down an inch and if anything, said double-fuck that Glee guy. Dave Grohl fucking rules.
Great look Asston the terrorist look went out when the twin towers got destroyed.
I find this douche bagel so obnoxious and annoying. Can't think of one thing he's ever acted in and that wasn't awful.
Some men look good with facial hair, but he is not one of them. I find him annoying as fuck, but he is good looking. Why he feels the need to fug himself up (and why CBS is allowing this) is beyond me.
Big Ears is smiling as if she likes what she sees. About to change sides?
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Yes, and that incident with the dog really turned me off to Ellen. Stupid bitch.
I don't like Ellen at all anymore. She was funny before she started to sell out, and has that boring, bland show. Ellen irks the hell out of me, anymore. Ashton Kutcher hasn't affected me that way, yet....
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:50pm.
A poncy little lap dog?? Doesn't Ellen know that as a lesbian she must adopt a medium-to-large light brown hound/shepherd mix with a tail that's a bit too long? It's in the manual.
Just like a circus
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:46pm.
What breed was Iggy? Like it matters.
Looks like a Terrier-Furby mix:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21385146/ns/today-entertainment/t/ellens-p...
@precocious magpie
Iggy:
http://www.latimes.com/la-et-iggygate18oct18,0,2791285.story
What breed was Iggy? Like it matters.
I hate Ellen now.
Just like a circus
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 10:36pm.
Iggy got busted selling blow to Gary Glitter.
hahaha. For some reason that reminded me of a grubby Gene Wilder drinking Woolite in that ancient Woody Allen movie about deviant sex.
Well as long as the puppeh is okay. Ashton
has descended too far into douchedom for me to ever find him attractive again. He needs to do less posing, and more keeping his wife occupied so she doesn't post annoying nakey pics on twitter anymore.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
Yes, and Ellen conveniently left out that she had breached the contract, which also stated that there couldn't be kids under the age of 14 or something like that, and the hairdresser had two kids under the age of 12. Now, maybe she could have let the dog stay, but hey, it's her agency and Ellen (or Portia) signed a contract. Plus, there are vey good reasons why some of these agencies have these rules. Anywhocares, Ellen started the shit, stirred it up, and then it backfired on Ellen "I'm so nice, especially to celebrities" DeGeneres when her really nice fans sent the agency woman death threats. Still awake? Iggy got busted selling blow to Gary Glitter.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 8:44pm.
Iggygate?
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Ellen adopted a puppy called Iggy through an agency via a contract which stated that he must be returned if he is no longer required by the signatory.
After spending a reported $3,000 on vet bills, Ellen decided that Iggy was inappropriate to her needs. Apparently he was far too boisterous for Portia Di (lost my Oz accent on the plane ride to LA) Rossi's kitty cats, and generally tore up their house; so Ellen gave Iggy to her hairdresser's kids. The adoption agency swooped in, pointed out the breached clause, and wrenched Iggy from the arms of sobbing children.
Ellen broke down in tears on her show and blubbered out the whole mess. The woman running the pet adoption business then started to receive violent threats from Ellen's fans who took her side even though the whole pile of dog droppings was entirely her doing.
Iggy has since been adopted by another family.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 8:35pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 8:29pm.
Never liked him. Went off her after Iggygate.
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Oh, forgot about Iggygate. It was bad for all involved, especially Iggy. Isn't he now whoring on the Vegas strip licking his butthole and strangers' dicks for bacon treats? What a sad, sad world that we live in.
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Iggygate?
Just like a circus
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 8:29pm.
Never liked him. Went off her after Iggygate.
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Oh, forgot about Iggygate. It was bad for all involved, especially Iggy. Isn't he now whoring on the Vegas strip licking his butthole and strangers' dicks for bacon treats? What a sad, sad world that we live in.
Never liked him. Went off her after Iggygate.
What the fuck is Ellen wearing?
"Two happy lesbians walk into a green room..."
Submitted by saltydog88 on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 2:33pm.
Ashton is gorgeous in pictures, he never does it for me on TV or in movies though. Should have stuck with modeling.
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ITA. He has classic features, including beautiful eyes and perfect, full lips. He's absolutely gorgeous--but he tries too hard to fight the hot and has crafted this unfortunate hipster/doofus/douche persona.
Who knows, maybe that's really who he is. I prefer him silent and posing like a good model but those days are long gone.
Thats Jesus !!!!!!!
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 2:05pm.
Hate to say it but I find guys with that hairstyle sexy. I gladly fuck a guy with the Jesus look (it's in the name and avatar afterall).
LOL! From my neck of the woods, we used to call it the "early Dave Mason" look!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_FOQ7-P30
A homosexual and a lesbyterian!
I just can't with Doucheston.
GET OFF THE STAGE, Ashton.
Thank you.
Ashton is gorgeous in pictures, he never does it for me on TV or in movies though. Should have stuck with modeling.
Ellen's like "WTF is that? What do you use it for?"
Ellen, how can possibly do make-up commercials that make you look uglier than you already are?
Everytime I see those commercials I can't help but stare at her highlighted ugly down-turned wrinkly mouth. Bleaaaaaa!!!
I mean they do NOTHING to make her look even remotely pretty. Isn't that the whole idea, make someone NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE pretty....EPIC FAIL!
Hate to say it but I find guys with that hairstyle sexy. I gladly fuck a guy with the Jesus look (it's in the name and avatar afterall).
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
I hate that Jeezis look but he has a nice body and he looks good when cleaned up. I'd hit it.
"I've had an awful lot of lovers ... And a lot of awful lovers." - Shirley MacLaine
completely unrelated but I really wish MK would find a better better sidebar ad than american apparel. I'm sick of having to resize my browser to battle the fug everytime i come here, which is 30+ times a day.
I can't believe I used to have a crush on this mindless cornball/douche.
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
He looks better clean shaven and with a haircut. Not liking this look on him at all.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Yes, please and twice.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
It's like a parade of ugly freaks today at dlisted other than Tom Brady (I'm not counting his shoes).
Maybe next there'll be a story about how Chaz Bono tried to eat Nancy Grace but ended up barfing her back out and there'll be pictures of her all covered in half-digested pork rinds, mayonnaise and butterscotch pudding.
I'd hit it.
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Devil's advocate.
sit down ghey jesus
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
The folk back in iowa must be sooo proud.
Seriously, where's the boooze?
Ashton Kutcher doesn't bother me. I mean, I don't think he's hot or anything...but I've found him amusing in movies and TV.
*hides*
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Douchechill!
Sit down Kelso.
I liked him. Once. Many, many, hundreds of many moons ago.
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." — Albert Einstein
Only one of those pixels will do.
I hate them both. They are both fugly as shit and think they are the shit (one of the worst combinations)...so yeah, I hate them both.
LOL @ the tag SMALL ONES!
With that hairstyle and beard, he looks like a homeless low budget porn star who gives handjobs for cheeseburgers.
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*~*ღ ✾✻ mymorningstory.com ✻✾ ღ*~*
Pfffffffffft.
Next.
Oy! This 2 1/2 Men reboot will probably be a hit too since a good chunk of America has no taste.
Vom.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11