Mel Gibson Is Making A Movie About A Jewish Hero

September 8, 2011 / Posted by:

It was nice of Mel Gibson to make an OY! THIS BITCH face so you don’t have to.

The Hollywood Reporter says that noted supporter of the Jews and honorary rabbi Mad Mel somehow got Warner Bros. to back the movie he’s writing about Jewish hero Judah Maccabee. In other news, Michele Bachmann has announced that she’s quitting the “trying to run for president” thing to make a documentary about Robert Mapplethorpe.

Wikipedia says that Judah Maccabee is one of the greatest warrior heroes in Jewish history who led a revolt against some king named Antiochus IV, took over Jerusalem and restored the Holy Temple. That victory is now celebrated by Hanukkah. It makes sense that Mad Mel would be the one to write this story since whenever you think of Hanukkah, you immediately think of Mel Gibson! Wait. Stupid ass me. I’m getting my “kah” sounds confused again. Whenever you think of Mel Gibson, you immediately think of the word “cunt.” Yeah, that’s what I really meant.

Mel doesn’t know yet if he wants to direct or take a role in the movie. He’s currently just writing the script with my favorite screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. And why is Joe Eszterhas my favorite screenwriter ever? Here are 4 reasons why:

1. Basic Instinct
2. Sliver
3. Showgirls
4. Jade

The Hollywood Reporter is also reporting (no, they’re not) that John Galliano is in talks to design costumes, Vanilla Gorilla has already signed on to play the lead role and Mel’s contract states that he must get paid with blowjobs before Jacuzzi (still not going to happen, but nice try, you glum cunt).

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