The cartoon villain who basically tied his job at Dior to the train tracks when he launched verbal swastika after verbal swastika from his tongue on two occasions at a bar in Paris was stamped with the word GUILTY by le court this morning. John Galliano was facing 6 months of trimming his precious stache with his own fingernails and his cell mate’s teeth in prison, but the court spared him of jail time. They threw a suspended $8,500 fine at him and are also making him pay one euro to his victims as a symbolic act. THEATER QUEENS. Galliano won’t have to pull out $8,500 from his coin purse if he keeps his “You dirty Jew with ugly shoes!!!” comments to himself for the next five years.
Back in February, Galliano was secretly recorded telling two people that he loves Hitler and all their forefathers would’ve been gassed. In France, that anti-Semitic stuff isn’t a joke and so they charged Galliano with a hate crime. Galliano blamed it on stress from work, the death of his father, his strained relationship with Natasha Fatale and his addiction to the sweet nectar and pills. After he was fired from Dior, Galliano checked into a rehab clinic in Arizona and hasn’t really been heard from since. Galliano wasn’t in court today, but his lawyer said that he’s “relieved” this is all over and called the court’s decision “wise.”
After all this, Galliano is out a job, an invitation to Natalie Portman’s baby’s bris, two Euros and other 90 Euros for court fees. The French court basically just slapped that dandy on the wrist and told him to never do it again. But they really should’ve punished his ass by ordering him to stay away from pin curl clips and Nazi-approved eyebrow stencils. Nope, I don’t appreciate that his brows are Heiling Hitler in opposite directions.